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Thread: The Cult of Heath's Personality

  1. #1
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    The Cult of Heath's Personality

    Aka Heath Davis Appreciation Society.

    HeathDavisSpeed is the Fascist Dictator of the HDAS.

    In the absense of Heath, due to being detained on Foreign Policy visits, control of the HDAS passes over to NZTailender, who is the 'Hess' of the HDAS.

    The manifesto of the HDAS is as follows:

    (i) To promote and enhance the knowledge of our Leader (Heath) to the wider world through development of the Cult of Heath's Personality
    (ii) To increase the average speed of bowlers worldwide. Not restricted to, but perhaps as a consequence, increasing the amount of Extras or Sundries.
    (iii) Increase the 'Fear Factor' for both batsmen and slip fielders.
    (iv) To maintain the Union of Fast Bowlers. (Heath doesn't want to be injured by another quicky)

    There are always positions available in the Cult of Heath's Personality. Once you join, you cannot leave. You are expected to have a picture of Heath in dramatic pose adorning your living room wall and uphold the Manifesto. Otherwise, life goes on as normal.

    See also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVdQlCReF1Q

    The HDAS Motto: To truly be a legend, you have to fully appreciate yourself first. Greatness is in being able to actively massage your own ego - HDS - 2007
    >>>>>>WHHOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH>>>>>>
    Fascist Dictator of the Heath Davis Appreciation Society
    Supporting Petone's Finest since the very start - Iain O'Brien
    Adam Wheater - Another batsman off the Essex production line
    Also Supporting the All Time #1 Batsman of All Time Ever - Jacques Kallis and the much maligned Peter Siddle.


    Vimes tells it how it is:
    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel_Vimes View Post
    Heath worryingly quick.

  2. #2
    International Vice-Captain pinchy81's Avatar
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    Oh ffs
    Quote Originally Posted by benchmark00
    Pinchy81- McPinch iz a gun4lyf.
    "Straight-Edge means I'm better than you!"

  3. #3
    BARNES OUT dontcloseyoureyes's Avatar
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    Best thread.
    I am a brave man, I am a coward. I am the tiger, I am the flower.
    I am honest, and I'm a liar. I am vital, I am tired.
    I am a free man, I am caught. From where I am, I see the top.
    I am most importantly never concerned with what I am not.
    Forever, more than just surviving.
    THIS IS MY LIFE AND THIS LIFE IS MY DIAMOND

  4. #4
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend NZTailender's Avatar
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    Deputy Dictator.
    President of SKAS - Kat is King | Proud member of CVAAS - One of the best | LRPLTAS - Rosco rocks!
    Go Tigers!
    R.I.P. Fardin & Craig


  5. #5
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinchy81 View Post
    Oh ffs
    If I had appointed anyone to the position of Head of the HDAS Secret Police then such an attitude could have seen you hunted down like a dog for such flagrant Civil Disobedience. In fact, such an intrusion into HDAS territory could be seen as an act of War and an attempt to annexe Sovereign HDAS territory.

    I'll let you off. Dictators have much more important work to do than worry about the petty concerns of the People.

    I have a masseuse coming in soon to give me my daily Ego Massage.

    Toodle-pip.

  6. #6
    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    Who's your Goebbels?
    WWCC - Loyaulte Mi Lie
    "People make me happy.. not places.. people"
    "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." - Samuel Johnson

    "Hope is the fuel of progress and fear is the prison in which you put yourself" - Tony Benn

    #408. Sixty three not out forever.

  7. #7
    International Vice-Captain pinchy81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    If I had appointed anyone to the position of Head of the HDAS Secret Police then such an attitude could have seen you hunted down like a dog for such flagrant Civil Disobedience. In fact, such an intrusion into HDAS territory could be seen as an act of War and an attempt to annexe Sovereign HDAS territory.

    I'll let you off. Dictators have much more important work to do than worry about the petty concerns of the People.

    I have a masseuse coming in soon to give me my daily Ego Massage.

    Toodle-pip.
    ummmmm

  8. #8
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgey View Post


    Who's your Goebbels?
    Only two positions are so far filled:

    Fascist Dictator: HDS
    Deputy Dictator: NZTailender

    All other positions are up for grabs.

    EDIT: I shudder to think who would apply to be the 'Goering'....

  9. #9
    International Vice-Captain pinchy81's Avatar
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    ill apply to make a petition to get this locked tbh

  10. #10
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    In HDAS territory, you do not need to apply to make a petition. You just need a list of signatories who agree with your stance. This then forms a petition which can be handed into the nearest embassy, where it will be filed in the Men's Toilets, possibly in the cistern, where it will gather dust and water damage. Any requests to follow up your petition will be met with officials sticking their fingers in their ears and going "Nyagghh... I can't hear you"

    That's how Official Government Business works.

    If you hadn't guessed, this is supposed to be slightly satirical by the way.

  11. #11
    International Vice-Captain pinchy81's Avatar
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    oh this is ****ing ridiculous

  12. #12
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    If you prefer, we could file the petition with Cuthbert instead.

    Cuthbert is the name of my waste paper bin. He likes eating paper.

    Cuthbert is Hungry... Feed him.

  13. #13
    International Vice-Captain pinchy81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    If you prefer, we could file the petition with Cuthbert instead.

    Cuthbert is the name of my waste paper bin. He likes eating paper.

    Cuthbert is Hungry... Feed him.

  14. #14
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    I love this, I bags head of secret police!
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    Jeets doesn't really deserve to be bowling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dan View Post
    in the future where we're all social justice-y Cribb can ride down the street to pick up some raw milk from Coles on a motorised esky while smoking meth, firing an RPG into the air, and carrying the case of British-import Stella he's polygamously (and privately) married alongside a genderfluid Zambian businessperson and a coke-snorting 18-year-old cyborg girl.
    Proudly supporting Central Districts
    RIP Craig Walsh

  15. #15
    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    Applying for position as propoganda minister.

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