Oh well next week maybe.
Oh well next week maybe.
Haha, first one is a good'un.
The speed at which a fielding team gets through the innings is overrated.
A policeman sees a guy walking around town with a lion.
"You must take that thing to the zoo mate," he tells the guy. The guy agrees.
Next day the policeman sees the guy around town, still with the lion.
"I thought I told you to take it to the zoo!" says policeman.
"I did," says the man, "and today I'm taking it to the movies!"
@CowsCorner - 202 followers and counting!
Disclaimer: I am a biased South African. Anything I say is likely to have something in it that ultimately favours the Proteas.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Tim Vine Ladies and Gentlemen!
I was asked about my availability to manage a football team in Sheffield.
I said I can't manage Wednesday
Avatar now by choice. 5-0 in the Ashes and all.
What's got 200 legs and no pubic hair?
The front row of a One Direction Concert.
A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant, so he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto 'To Fly. To Serve'.The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: 'Winning the hearts of the world'. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: 'Going beyond expectations'.
The woman looks at him sternly and says: 'What the **** do you want?'
'Ah!' he says "Ryanair".
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers
I have to give a speech on the link between anxiety and insomnia next week.
I've been up all night worrying about it
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)