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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #931
    Hall of Fame Member Howe_zat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyonthewall View Post


    One for Howe_zat in return: f(x) walks into a bar and immediately asks the barman for a pint of his best. He is somewhat dissapointed when the barman replies that he's "sorry, but we don't cater for functions here".

    I'm here all week guys!
    Glorious
    And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence.

  2. #932
    vcs
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    Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who asks: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

    Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am."

  3. #933
    vcs
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    Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

    Answer: [SPOILER]To get to the same side.[/SPOILER]

  4. #934
    Hall of Fame Member Marcuss's Avatar
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  5. #935
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcuss View Post
    Biggest joke in the world by far.

    Who the hell has a chicken in their badge?
    "I will go down as Darren Sammy, the one who always smiles" - Darren Sammy

  6. #936
    Hall of Fame Member Goughy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Himannv View Post
    Biggest joke in the world by far.

    Who the hell has a chicken in their badge?
    The French?

    If I only just posted the above post, please wait 5 mins before replying as there is bound to be edits

    West Robham Rabid Wolves Caedere lemma quod eat lemma

    Happy Birthday! (easier than using Birthday threads)

    Email and MSN- Goughy at cricketmail dot net

  7. #937
    cpr
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    Cricketer Of The Year cpr's Avatar
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    Is that an answer to line 1 or 2??
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
    Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

  8. #938
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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    Dear Noah,

    We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

    Sincerely, Unicorns



    Dear Twilight fans,

    Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

    Enjoy fantasizing about that.

    Sincerely, Logic



    Dear Icebergs,

    Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

    Sincerely, The Titanic




    Dear Boyfriend,

    I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

    Sincerely, Spiders




    Dear Yahoo,

    I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

    Sincerely, Google



    Dear girls who have been dumped,

    There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

    Sincerely, BP



    Dear 2010,

    So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

    Sincerely, 1985




    Dear Justin Bieber ,

    Ariel would really love her voice back.

    Sincerely, King Triton




    Dear Rose,

    There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

    Sincerely, Jack




    Dear Windshield Wipers,

    Can't touch this.

    Sincerely, That Little Triangle



    Dear Taylor Swift,

    If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

    Sincerely, Shakespeare




    Dear Saturn,

    I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

    Sincerely, God



    Dear Rubik's Cube,

    Done!

    Sincerely, Colorblind




    Dear Santa,

    Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

    Sincerely, Tiger Woods




    Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

    I. Can't. Breathe.

    Sincerely, Your Balls




    Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

    I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

    Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio




    Dear Romeo,

    My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

    Sincerely, Juliet




    Dear Toaster,

    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

    Sincerely, Toast




    Dear Edward Cullen,

    I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

    Sincerely, a stake

  9. #939
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Himannv View Post

    Dear Taylor Swift,

    If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

    Sincerely, Shakespeare


    It's a love story, baby just say... yesssssssssssssssssssss.
    Parmi | #1 draft pick | Jake King is **** | Big Bash League tipping champion of the universe
    Come and Paint Turtle
    Quote Originally Posted by Jono View Post
    Kohli. Do something in test cricket for once please.

    Thanks.

  10. #940
    International Coach G.I.Joe's Avatar
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    Some of those are awesome
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    If GI 'Best Poster On The Forum' Joe says it then it must be true.
    Athlai doesn't lie. And he doesn't do sarcasm either, so you know it's true!

  11. #941
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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  12. #942
    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    A man who is in a strange town for work visits a reataurant and sits down for dinner one evening, alone.

    He looks at the adjoining table and sees a beautiful woman, with a stunning body poured into a tight black dress. She is also alone.

    He's trying to think of something to say when suddenly the woman sneezes and her glass eye flies out. Acting without thinking, the man stops the eye from hitting the ground and hands it back. As she puts the eye back in, the woman thanks him sincerely and offers to buy him dinner by way of thanks.

    Well, they hit it off like no one's business. Laughing, chatting, a few drinks. After dinner she asks him to go to a show, so they visit the theatre - love it. Then a cocktail bar and out for some dancing. Brilliant night.

    As the club closes she asks him back to her place for a nightcap, and maybe breakfast. Of course he's there quick smart and they spend the night in her bed making mad, passionate love.

    When he wakes up in the morning, she brings him a fantastic breakfast in bed - cereal, fruit, toast, eggs, bacon, fresh juice, espresso coffee - the works.

    He says "you know, you're amazing. You're beautiful, amazing in bed, you're funny, bright and charming. You can cook as well. That was one hellof a night. Do you treat all the blokes you bring home like that?"

    "Not all of them", she said. "But you caught my eye".
    Last edited by Burgey; 02-02-2011 at 05:19 AM.
    WWCC - Loyaulte Mi Lie
    "People make me happy.. not places.. people"

    "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." - Samuel Johnson

    "Hope is the fuel of progress and fear is the prison in which you put yourself" - Tony Benn

  13. #943
    vcs
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  14. #944
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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    Haha thats a nice one.

  15. #945
    International Captain cover drive man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Himannv View Post
    Biggest joke in the world by far.

    Who the hell has a chicken in their badge?
    Everyone wants to change the world, noone wants to change himself.

    -Tolstoy



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