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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #811
    Global Moderator Teja.'s Avatar
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    How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A:-1000. One to fix it, The other 999 to take pictures of it and post it on fb.

  2. #812
    International 12th Man blahblahblah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shri View Post
    Pope prays to god for the rescue of miners trapped in Chile - thats ironic, I have been praying for the minors to be rescued from you for a looooong time.

  3. #813
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teja. View Post
    Just got an SMS. One of the worst jokes ever.

    I just went to a store looking for to buy GTA. The sales assistant girl wanted me to describe it to her. I told her that it's about a black man driving around with a rod,crashing cars,****ing whores and evading police. The stupid bitch gave me TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 2010.
    Haha haven't heard a Tiger joke in a while.
    "I will go down as Darren Sammy, the one who always smiles" - Darren Sammy

  4. #814
    Eyes not spreadsheets marc71178's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shri View Post
    Pope prays to god for the rescue of miners trapped in Chile - thats ironic, I have been praying for the minors to be rescued from you for a looooong time.
    If only Michael Jackson were still alive, he'd have had the minors out in hours.
    marc71178 - President and founding member of AAAS - we don't only appreciate when he does well, but also when he's not quite so good!

    Anyone want to join the Society?

    Beware the evils of Kit-Kats - they're immoral apparently.


  5. #815
    International Captain Himannv's Avatar
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    Right from Lamebook that imo.

  6. #816
    International Captain cover drive man's Avatar
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    Time for another geek joke.

    Rene Descartes walks into a bar, orders a beer and sits down. He drinks his beer and takes his glass back to the bar, the barman says:

    "Do you want another?"

    He says:

    "I think not."

    And *click* he disappears.
    Everyone wants to change the world, noone wants to change himself.

    -Tolstoy

  7. #817
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I saw a really cute girl in the park yesterday. A spark passed between us and I was soon shagging her behind the bushes.

    They might cost a few quid, but those tasers are worth it.
    Cricket Web's 2013/14 Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "as much a news event as an actual footballer, a worthy stop-start centre forward, but an all-time hyper-galactico when it comes to doing funny things with cars and hats, a player whose signing proves once again that the Premier League is still undoubtedly the best in the world when it comes to doing things with cars and hats."
    - Barney Ronay on Mario Balotelli

  8. #818
    International Coach Shri's Avatar
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    !

  9. #819
    Hall of Fame Member _Ed_'s Avatar
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    What do you call a short piece of legislation?

    A clause for celebration.

  10. #820
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    From the office email:

    A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

    No further studies are expected on this subject.
    Parmi

    Avatar now by choice. 5-0 in the Ashes and all.

  11. #821
    International Vice-Captain Faisal1985's Avatar
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    An Israeli doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

    A German doctor says "That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

    A Russian doctor says "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

    The Pakistani doctor, not to be outdone, says "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of Pakistan, made him president 2 years ago, and now half the country is looking for work."
    BE AFRIDI!
    Be VERY AFRIDI!!

  12. #822
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Ha, I don't usually like political jokes but that's a good one. I''m doing a standup open mic thing in a few weeks, might post some of my stuff in here, would love to get a critical view on it.
    The speed at which a fielding team gets through the innings is overrated.

  13. #823
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manee View Post
    Ha, I don't usually like political jokes but that's a good one. I''m doing a standup open mic thing in a few weeks, might post some of my stuff in here, would love to get a critical view on it.
    Boo get off the stage!

  14. #824
    School Boy/Girl Cricketer
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    Twice: So good, they named it twice.
    Lachy's Blog: The place where I write things about sports.

    Lachy's World XI: Katich, Jayasuriya, Kallis, Chanderpaul, Duminy, North, Manou, Vettori, Hauritz, Ntini, Tonge

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  15. #825
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    lol'd
    Last edited by ripper868; 01-11-2010 at 10:11 AM. Reason: was llloing at nibblets now delted joke...not pg enough



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