The Lame Joke Corner - Page 49

G.I.Joe · 28-08-2010, 04:43 AM

Stick to the smutty ones, BB

cover drive man · 28-08-2010, 05:13 AM

Doctor Weltzer is here tonight, wonderful doctor. Gave a guy 6 months to live, couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another 6 months. [Goodfellas]

BoyBrumby · 28-08-2010, 06:05 AM

A man with cornflakes on his cock has been arrested.

Police believe he's a cereal rapist.

ripper868 · 28-08-2010, 06:33 AM

What has one horn and gives milk?

A Milk truck

Uppercut · 28-08-2010, 07:39 AM

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

vcs · 28-08-2010, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uppercut

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

BoyBrumby · 30-08-2010, 05:57 AM

I have just filmed my girlfriend using her toes to bring me off.

Nice bit of footage.

PhoenixFire · 30-08-2010, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uppercut

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

How can it walk into a bar if it's in a box?

Manee · 30-08-2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhoenixFire

How can it walk into a bar if it's in a box?

I swear its not in the box.

PhoenixFire · 30-08-2010, 01:15 PM

But it's dead anyway so it doesn't matter.

vcs · 02-09-2010, 06:52 AM

A billy goat got loose in a Hollywood film studio and ate a reel of "Gone with the Wind." Another goat asked him how he liked it. Replied the first: "I thought the book was better."

Manee · 02-09-2010, 10:05 AM

Q. Where does Superman get his attire from?

A. Cape Town

cover drive man · 02-09-2010, 10:27 AM

Haha *funky drum beat*

cover drive man · 02-09-2010, 10:38 AM

Sorry if I'm completely off the mark here, but the cat isn't alive and dead at the same time, it's either dead or alive depending on whether an atom decays. It's only fifty/fifty from our view isn't it? Like betting on red in roulette but not looking at the result. I'm probably completely off the mark here though.

cover drive man · 02-09-2010, 10:38 AM

Although betting on red in roullete is 18/37 (9/19 for american roulette) not 50/50

28-08-2010, 05:13 AM	#722 (permalink)
cover drive man International Captain Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 7,049	Doctor Weltzer is here tonight, wonderful doctor. Gave a guy 6 months to live, couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another 6 months. [Goodfellas] __________________ Everyone wants to change the world, noone wants to change himself. -Tolstoy

28-08-2010, 06:05 AM	#723 (permalink)
BoyBrumby Englishman Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Doing the stance Posts: 42,629	A man with cornflakes on his cock has been arrested. Police believe he's a cereal rapist. __________________ *- As featured in The Independent.* "This is not the time for namby-pamby promising youngsters who might just do something; not the time for building for the future. Pragmatism rules and they don't come more pragmatic than Rogers." - Victor Marks makes the case for stiff-legged and stiff-armed 35 year old left-handers in Ashes squads

28-08-2010, 06:33 AM	#724 (permalink)
ripper868 Cricketer Of The Year Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Nest Posts: 8,271	What has one horn and gives milk? A Milk truck __________________ Parmi Avatar not by choice.

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30-08-2010, 05:57 AM	#727 (permalink)
BoyBrumby Englishman Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Doing the stance Posts: 42,629	I have just filmed my girlfriend using her toes to bring me off. Nice bit of footage.

30-08-2010, 01:15 PM	#730 (permalink)
PhoenixFire International Coach Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Bitch please, I'm from West Yorkshire Posts: 14,986	But it's dead anyway so it doesn't matter.

02-09-2010, 06:52 AM	#731 (permalink)
vcs International Coach Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: India Posts: 10,305	A billy goat got loose in a Hollywood film studio and ate a reel of "Gone with the Wind." Another goat asked him how he liked it. Replied the first: "I thought the book was better."

02-09-2010, 10:05 AM	#732 (permalink)
Manee Cricketer Of The Year Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Heaven Posts: 8,201	Q. Where does Superman get his attire from? A. Cape Town

02-09-2010, 10:27 AM	#733 (permalink)
cover drive man International Captain Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 7,049	Haha funky drum beat

02-09-2010, 10:38 AM	#734 (permalink)
cover drive man International Captain Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 7,049	Sorry if I'm completely off the mark here, but the cat isn't alive and dead at the same time, it's either dead or alive depending on whether an atom decays. It's only fifty/fifty from our view isn't it? Like betting on red in roulette but not looking at the result. I'm probably completely off the mark here though.

02-09-2010, 10:38 AM	#735 (permalink)
cover drive man International Captain Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 7,049	Although betting on red in roullete is 18/37 (9/19 for american roulette) not 50/50

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