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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #601
    International Coach Shri's Avatar
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    Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."

    The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"

    Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."

  2. #602
    Hall of Fame Member _Ed_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightprowler10 View Post
    me

    No, that's not true at all.

  3. #603
    International Coach G.I.Joe's Avatar
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    "What's wrong with me, doc?" asks the patient. "My balls have turned blue!"
    The doctor examines him and says his testicles need to be removed- or else he'll die.
    "I can't let you do that!" the patient cries.
    "Do you want to die?" the doctor asks. So the patient glumly consents to have his sack snipped off.
    Two weeks later the patient comes back. "Doc, now my penis has turned blue!" The doctor examines him and reaches the same conclusion: his penis must go.
    The man begins to cry. "How will I pee?" "We'll install a plastic pipe," says the doctor. "You don't want to die, do you?"
    Racked with grief, the man consents.
    "Doc! The pipe turned blue! What the hell is happening to me?!"
    "Well, I'm not really sure," admits the doctor. "Wait...do you wear jeans?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    If GI 'Best Poster On The Forum' Joe says it then it must be true.
    Athlai doesn't lie. And he doesn't do sarcasm either, so you know it's true!

  4. #604
    International Captain Agent TBY's Avatar
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    <Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
    <Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> **** me
    <mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
    <Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
    <mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
    <goatboy> what?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
    <goatboy> er?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
    <goatboy> and?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
    <goatboy> ...
    <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
    <goatboy> i dont get it
    <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
    <goatboy> bastard
    <Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
    <Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
    <Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.
    Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
    MaroonSand: no its not dude
    bash.org
    orz


  5. #605
    Hall of Fame Member Marcuss's Avatar
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    Genuine lols.

  6. #606
    Hall of Fame Member NZTailender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent TBY View Post
    bash.org
    Welcome to 2003.
    President of SKAS - Kat is King | Proud member of CVAAS - One of the best | LRPLTAS - Rosco rocks!
    The NZTailender Supporting XI:
    H Rutherford, T Latham, N Broom, M Bracewell, D Brownlie, BJ Watling, D de Boorder+, M Henry, B Wheeler, H Bennett, A Milne
    Go Tigers!
    R.I.P. Fardin & Craig

  7. #607
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Why do anarchists drink Earl Grey?















    Because all proper tea is theft.
    Cricket Web's 2013/14 Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "as much a news event as an actual footballer, a worthy stop-start centre forward, but an all-time hyper-galactico when it comes to doing funny things with cars and hats, a player whose signing proves once again that the Premier League is still undoubtedly the best in the world when it comes to doing things with cars and hats."
    - Barney Ronay on Mario Balotelli

  8. #608
    Global Moderator nightprowler10's Avatar
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    Why was the man arrested for waiting in the Big Top?


    He was loitering within tent.


    Thank you, you're too kind!

    Quote Originally Posted by _Ed_ View Post

    No, that's not true at all.
    Cheers mate, just felt really down.
    RIP Craigos

  9. #609
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Why is anal sex like cabbage?

    - If you were forced to have it as a child you probably won't enjoy it much as an adult.

  10. #610
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    That's terrible!
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

  11. #611
    99*
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    International Debutant 99*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby View Post
    Why is anal sex like cabbage?

    - If you were forced to have it as a child you probably won't enjoy it much as an adult.
    Quote Originally Posted by Burgey
    She tells me the thing will flatten out, I say "Like your chest?" Bad mistake.

  12. #612
    Hall of Fame Member _Ed_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightprowler10 View Post
    Cheers mate, just felt really down.
    Yeah, completely understood. No need to explain yourself. Hope that awful feeling has passed now.


    Why was the man arrested for waiting in the Big Top?


    He was loitering within tent.


    Thank you, you're too kind!
    But this, on the other hand, is inexcusable. You've got a lot to answer for here.

  13. #613
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    My non-traditional Sunday lunch just made me think of this old one:

    Why is KFC like foreplay?

    -When you've finished you have a greasy box to put your bone into.

  14. #614
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    Reminds me of one of my favourites:

    What do KFC and women have in common?

    Once you get past the breasts and thighs, all you've got is a greasy box.

  15. #615
    International Coach flibbertyjibber's Avatar
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    This guy came up to me on the street and called me a chicken.

    I didn't want any trouble so i crossed the road.

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