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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #1786
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    What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef
    BoyBrumby likes this.

  2. #1787
    Cricketer Of The Year Hurricane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?’
    The son hesitated a moment and his father’s thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.
    Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.’
    The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.’
    And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.
    The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.
    The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.
    Father,’ replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.’
    The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.’
    And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.
    The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.
    The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.
    Father,’ said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.’
    The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?’
    `A carton of pink ping pong balls,’ the boy confirmed.
    I can’t understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls,’ said the father,but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.’
    And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.
    The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.
    Dear son,’ said the father,I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?’
    The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.’
    The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.
    The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son’s 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.
    Dearest father,’ the son started,I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.’
    One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son’s wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.
    The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.
    The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.
    The following year, one day before the son’s 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.
    `Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible.’
    It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.
    The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.
    Father,’ the son said,You’ve made me very happy yet again.’
    That night, the son spent on board the tanker.
    The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.
    A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.
    His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?’
    Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls.’
    The father held his son’s hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls.’
    `Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls.’
    The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.
    `Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.’
    The son nodded weakly.
    The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son’s hospital room.
    `Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls,’ the father requested.
    The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.
    `I-’ the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.
    `I- I-’
    Then he died.
    tl;dr
    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I got great enjoyment in going to the game and shouting "WHY THE **** ISN'T THIS GAME BEING PLAYED AT THE BASIN?!>!?!?" to reasonably significant cheers from the sparse crowd
    Proudly against the bring back Bennett movement since he is injury prone and won't last 5 days.

  3. #1788
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    It is worth a read tbf

  4. #1789
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    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    It is worth a read tbf
    Yep, that joke has everything.



    Except a punchline, of course.


  5. #1790
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    A tragedy has occurred in my home city of Mumbai:

    Over the past few weeks, a little 8 year old boy was witnessing the trauma of his parents' divorce proceedings. After a lengthy court battle, the judge granted full custody of the boy to his father. However, the boy refused this verdict. He revealed that his father was abusive & used to beat him.

    Understandably, the judge granted his custody to the mother instead. After a couple of weeks, it came to light that his mother used to beat him as well. Eventually both parents were denied custody of the child.

    Finally, in a show of sympathy, the judge granted full custody of the child to Mumbai's local cricket team, The Mumbai Indians. Everyone came to the conclusion that the child would be safe with them since they aren't capable of beating anyone.

  6. #1791
    International Coach Shri's Avatar
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    Yeah you stuck to the thread title.

  7. #1792
    International Coach Shri's Avatar
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    Smali's living in it though.

  8. #1793
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    Smali you ****!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby View Post
    Yeah, look, it gives me a pain deep inside my uterus to admit it, but it's Ajmal until such time as we get a working throwing law again.
    Never in a million years would I have thought Brumby to admit this!!!!!!

  9. #1794
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Nationaux View Post
    Smali you ****!!!

  10. #1795
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    Nothing on this one

    The Longest Joke in the World
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

  11. #1796
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    I've read it in it's entirety before. Never again.
    RIP Craigos

  12. #1797
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    A friend once told it to me. You can make it last about as long as you want if you're a good enough story-teller. I think he went on for over an hour.

  13. #1798
    cpr
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    What's 7 inches long, 2 inches thick, and is going to be hard for a long time to come?






    Rolf Harris' paintbrush
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
    Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

  14. #1799
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    Flight Attendant to Passenger - "Would you like some headphones?"

    Passenger - "Why yes, and how did you know my name was Phones?"
    BoyBrumby and KiWiNiNjA like this.

  15. #1800
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    If GI 'Best Poster On The Forum' Joe says it then it must be true.
    Athlai doesn't lie. And he doesn't do sarcasm either, so you know it's true!



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