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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. 30-06-2013, 09:00 AM #1696
    Manee
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    Always wonder how bad swimmers are successfully conceived.
    The speed at which a fielding team gets through the innings is overrated.
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  2. 30-06-2013, 10:29 AM #1697
    Daemon
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    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Nationaux View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    use the like feature noobs
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  3. 30-06-2013, 12:43 PM #1698
    Samuel_Vimes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    use the like feature noobs
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    A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
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    Equality keeps us honest...
    Inequality creates liars and delusion...
    When you don’t hear others,
    you don’t imagine them, they become unreal,
    and you are left in the wasteland of a world with only yourself in it,
    and that surely makes you starving.
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  4. 06-07-2013, 03:17 AM #1699
    Manee
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    Auditioned for The Matrix. I got a call back and it transpired that I'd either be playing the hero or the hated villain. Luckily, got cast as the hero...feel I dodged a bullet there.
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  5. 06-07-2013, 01:11 PM #1700
    Agent Nationaux
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    use the like feature noobs
    Have to increase my post count ****
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  6. 07-07-2013, 01:17 AM #1701
    Daemon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Nationaux View Post
    Have to increase my post count ****
    Well others need to increase their 'likes received' count
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  7. 20-07-2013, 09:12 PM #1702
    Daemon
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    I saw a study that said one out of every 10 people are gay.

    I've had *** with 10 people.

    That really weirds me out, because statistically, that means at least one of those dudes was probably gay.
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  8. 21-07-2013, 03:11 AM #1703
    uvelocity
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    it was you tbf
    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    I just love all kinds of balls.
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  9. 22-07-2013, 04:53 AM #1704
    Daemon
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    Rumour is that Kate's having a Caesarian. They want the baby to come out through the sunroof as a tribute to its grandmother.
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  10. 22-07-2013, 05:24 AM #1705
    Manee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    Rumour is that Kate's having a Caesarian. They want the baby to come out through the sunroof as a tribute to its grandmother.
    Oh no!
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  11. 26-07-2013, 12:32 PM #1706
    Manee
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    Spouses grow to look like each other. So, to be good looking and get girls, I must first marry a model...hmmm...
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  12. 26-07-2013, 12:46 PM #1707
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    I spent an hour at my wife's grave this morning.

    She still thinks I'm digging a fish pond.
    Marcuss, cpr, uvelocity and 2 others like this.
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    "I don't think that they'll come close to us to be honest."
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  13. 26-07-2013, 01:32 PM #1708
    smalishah84
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    And smalishah's avatar is the most classy one by far Jan certainly echoes the sentiments of CW

    Yeah we don't crap in the first world; most of us would actually have no idea what that was emanating from Ajmal's backside. Why isn't it roses and rainbows like what happens here? PEWS's retort to Ganeshran on Daemon's picture depicting Ajmal's excreta
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  14. 28-07-2013, 02:02 PM #1709
    BoyBrumby
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    I saw my mate in the pub today looking really pissed off so I asked him what was wrong.

    "I got fired today", he said, "for downloading something on to the work computer and causing everything to crash."

    "That sounds a bit harsh", I replied.

    "They don't **** around at Air Traffic Control", he said.
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  15. 03-08-2013, 02:31 PM #1710
    BoyBrumby
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    A woman is standing naked in front of her mirror. She says to her husband, "I look horrible; I feel fat and ugly. Come on, pay me a compliment"

    He replies, "Well, your eyesight is perfect."
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