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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #1696
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Always wonder how bad swimmers are successfully conceived.
    The speed at which a fielding team gets through the innings is overrated.

  2. #1697
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    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Nationaux View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    use the like feature noobs
    cpr likes this.

  3. #1698
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    use the like feature noobs
    uvelocity likes this.
    Messi scores on the rebound.

    Founder of ESAS - Edgar Schiferli, the best associate bowler
    A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
    Member of JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS

    Quote Originally Posted by Adolf Grünbaum
    Is the conduct approved by the gods right ("pious"), because of properties of its own, or merely because it pleases the gods to value or command it?

  4. #1699
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Auditioned for The Matrix. I got a call back and it transpired that I'd either be playing the hero or the hated villain. Luckily, got cast as the hero...feel I dodged a bullet there.
    Agent Nationaux likes this.


  5. #1700
    International Coach Agent Nationaux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    use the like feature noobs
    Have to increase my post count ****

  6. #1701
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Nationaux View Post
    Have to increase my post count ****
    Well others need to increase their 'likes received' count
    GIMH likes this.

  7. #1702
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    I saw a study that said one out of every 10 people are gay.

    I've had sex with 10 people.

    That really weirds me out, because statistically, that means at least one of those dudes was probably gay.
    GIMH and TommoHawk like this.

  8. #1703
    International Coach uvelocity's Avatar
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    it was you tbf
    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    I just love all kinds of balls.

  9. #1704
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    Rumour is that Kate's having a Caesarian. They want the baby to come out through the sunroof as a tribute to its grandmother.
    Uppercut and Son Of Coco like this.

  10. #1705
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    Rumour is that Kate's having a Caesarian. They want the baby to come out through the sunroof as a tribute to its grandmother.
    Oh no!

  11. #1706
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Spouses grow to look like each other. So, to be good looking and get girls, I must first marry a model...hmmm...
    GIMH likes this.

  12. #1707
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    I spent an hour at my wife's grave this morning.

    She still thinks I'm digging a fish pond.
    Marcuss, cpr, uvelocity and 2 others like this.
    Cricket Web's 2013/14 Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "I don't believe a word of Pietersen's book, but then I don't believe a word anyone else has said either."
    - Simon Barnes renders further comment on KP's autobiography superfluous in a sentence

  13. #1708
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend smalishah84's Avatar
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    And smalishah's avatar is the most classy one by far Jan certainly echoes the sentiments of CW

    Yeah we don't crap in the first world; most of us would actually have no idea what that was emanating from Ajmal's backside. Why isn't it roses and rainbows like what happens here? PEWS's retort to Ganeshran on Daemon's picture depicting Ajmal's excreta

  14. #1709
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I saw my mate in the pub today looking really pissed off so I asked him what was wrong.

    "I got fired today", he said, "for downloading something on to the work computer and causing everything to crash."

    "That sounds a bit harsh", I replied.

    "They don't **** around at Air Traffic Control", he said.
    Daemon and TommoHawk like this.

  15. #1710
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    A woman is standing naked in front of her mirror. She says to her husband, "I look horrible; I feel fat and ugly. Come on, pay me a compliment"

    He replies, "Well, your eyesight is perfect."



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