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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #1666
    International Coach uvelocity's Avatar
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    Oh yes
    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . For support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

  2. #1667
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    BTW, the wanking in a hospital joke seems to be a keeper for my stand-up set. Did it last week and it worked a treat.

  3. #1668
    Cricket Web Staff Member Burgey's Avatar
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    You had a **** in a hospital last week?
    WWCC - Loyaulte Mi Lie
    "People make me happy.. not places.. people"

    "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." - Samuel Johnson

    "Hope is the fuel of progress and fear is the prison in which you put yourself" - Tony Benn

  4. #1669
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I went to view a house yesterday with period features.

    But the missus hates it when I call her that.
    - As featured in The Independent.

    "Predictably, the ending of his international career did not end the argument about Pietersen's merits, as an army of informed commentators and Piers Morgan weighed in to defend or attack him."
    - The Guardian's Andrew Anthony


  5. #1670
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgey View Post
    You had a **** in a hospital last week?
    Haha, no. The joke, its a few pages back.

  6. #1671
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    There's a guy in Hungary who knocks on people's doors and tries to convert then to the philosophy of Zen.

    He's a Buddha pest.

  7. #1672
    International Captain Bahnz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I can think of a list of Sydney Grade posters who would contribute a better average post than Bahnz.
    Maow like no one can hear you maowing.

  8. #1673
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend smalishah84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby View Post
    There's a guy in Hungary who knocks on people's doors and tries to convert then to the philosophy of Zen.

    He's a Buddha pest.
    And smalishah's avatar is the most classy one by far Jan certainly echoes the sentiments of CW

    Yeah we don't crap in the first world; most of us would actually have no idea what that was emanating from Ajmal's backside. Why isn't it roses and rainbows like what happens here? PEWS's retort to Ganeshran on Daemon's picture depicting Ajmal's excreta

  9. #1674
    U19 Debutant
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    The Quickie


    A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "

    What would you like, sir?"

    He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

    The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.

    After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"

    Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "a quickie, please."

    This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

    A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

  10. #1675
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I hate it that when a girl sleeps with loads of guys she's called a slut but when a guy does the same he's called "gay".
    TommoHawk likes this.

  11. #1676
    International Coach
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    My mum walked in on me wanking the other day.

    I was completely gobsmacked.

    I didn't know she even had a penis.

  12. #1677
    Global Moderator Prince EWS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemon View Post
    My mum walked in on me wanking the other day.

    I was completely gobsmacked.

    I didn't know she even had a penis.
    !!
    ~ Cribbage

  13. #1678
    International Coach uvelocity's Avatar
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    hahah

  14. #1679
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Hi all, like this page if you like my stand-up...I'd appreciate it greatly.

    https://www.facebook.com/OneOfUsMightBeFamous?ref=hl

  15. #1680
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I took a crap in a lift yesterday.

    That's wrong on so many levels.
    Daemon, Uppercut and Days of Grace like this.



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