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Thread: The Lame Joke Corner

  1. #1531
    International Coach uvelocity's Avatar
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    what does moses and a drug dealer have in common?

    moses went up a hill with a tablet, and came down a profit
    Quote Originally Posted by sledger View Post
    I just love all kinds of balls.

  2. #1532
    International Captain wellAlbidarned's Avatar
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    not bad

    Here's a seriously lame joke: Cricinfo's "journalism"
    Last edited by wellAlbidarned; 02-10-2012 at 12:58 AM.
    Exit pursuing a beer

  3. #1533
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    Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a 'soft' drink. It brings a whole new meaning to the words 'cocktails' and 'highballs'.

  4. #1534
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend smalishah84's Avatar
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    And smalishah's avatar is the most classy one by far Jan certainly echoes the sentiments of CW

    Yeah we don't crap in the first world; most of us would actually have no idea what that was emanating from Ajmal's backside. Why isn't it roses and rainbows like what happens here? PEWS's retort to Ganeshran on Daemon's picture depicting Ajmal's excreta


  5. #1535
    International Coach flibbertyjibber's Avatar
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    They have just found Jimmy Savile's diary.

    His last entry was 10 years old.

  6. #1536
    cpr
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    International Coach cpr's Avatar
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    Sports Direct are doing a Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuit. The tops in adult size, but you have to squeeze into kids bottoms
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
    Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

  7. #1537
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I bet Gary Glitter regrets not asking Jim to fix it instead of taking his computer to PC World now.
    Cricket Web's 2013/14 Premier League Tipping Champion

    - As featured in The Independent.

    "I don't believe a word of Pietersen's book, but then I don't believe a word anyone else has said either."
    - Simon Barnes renders further comment on KP's autobiography superfluous in a sentence

  8. #1538
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    I hate glory hunting Man U supporters' excuses..."Well my dad supported them when I was young..."

    My dad used to shag my mum too; it doesn't mean I have to.

    I do that because I'm an East Anglian.

  9. #1539
    Cricketer Of The Year Manee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby View Post
    I hate glory hunting Man U supporters' excuses..."Well my dad supported them when I was young..."

    My dad used to shag my mum too; it doesn't mean I have to.

    I do that because I'm an East Anglian.


    I installed a door stop the other day, but disappointingly enough...it's still a door.

  10. #1540
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    A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the
    Third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

    After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.

    After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."

    "I know, father."

    "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."

    "I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out
    Of here alive, would you u do something for me?"

    "Anything, Father."

    "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."

    "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."

    The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

    "Sister, would you mind if I touched them? She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

    "Father, could I ask something of you?"

    "Yes, Sister?"

    "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

    "I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.

    "Oh Father, may I touch it?" The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

    "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."

    "Is that true father?"

    "Yes, it is, Sister."

    "Oh Father that's wonderful, stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here."




    Hope this is considered as a lame joke..

  11. #1541
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend smalishah84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doesitmatter View Post
    A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the
    Third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

    After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.

    After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."

    "I know, father."

    "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."

    "I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out
    Of here alive, would you u do something for me?"

    "Anything, Father."

    "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."

    "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."

    The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

    "Sister, would you mind if I touched them? She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

    "Father, could I ask something of you?"

    "Yes, Sister?"

    "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

    "I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.

    "Oh Father, may I touch it?" The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

    "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."

    "Is that true father?"

    "Yes, it is, Sister."

    "Oh Father that's wonderful, stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here."




    Hope this is considered as a lame joke..

  12. #1542
    International Coach Shri's Avatar
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    I was stuck at a desert outpost during my time in the French Foreign Legion. I asked one of the other guys what was usually done in order to get some relief and he told me “We use the camels.” At first I was disgusted, but after a few weeks I started rationalizing it to myself…so late one night I snuck into the stables where the camels were kept and started going at it with one of ‘em. Right after I got into a rhythm the same dude who first mentioned humping the humped creatures walked into the building and stared at me, bug-eyed and slack jawed.

    “What are you doing?!” he finally exclaimed.

    “Dude, you told me ya’ll use the camels when you’re horny” was my flustered response as I started pulling up my pants.

    “Well, yeah” he said, “But me and the other guys use the camels to ride into town and pick up girls”

  13. #1543
    International Coach Hurricane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shri View Post
    I was stuck at a desert outpost during my time in the French Foreign Legion. I asked one of the other guys what was usually done in order to get some relief and he told me “We use the camels.” At first I was disgusted, but after a few weeks I started rationalizing it to myself…so late one night I snuck into the stables where the camels were kept and started going at it with one of ‘em. Right after I got into a rhythm the same dude who first mentioned humping the humped creatures walked into the building and stared at me, bug-eyed and slack jawed.

    “What are you doing?!” he finally exclaimed.

    “Dude, you told me ya’ll use the camels when you’re horny” was my flustered response as I started pulling up my pants.

    “Well, yeah” he said, “But me and the other guys use the camels to ride into town and pick up girls”
    This joke is at least 30 years old as I heard it when I was 8.
    It is quite peculiar that you made it - as I was just about to post it.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I got great enjoyment in going to the game and shouting "WHY THE **** ISN'T THIS GAME BEING PLAYED AT THE BASIN?!>!?!?" to reasonably significant cheers from the sparse crowd
    Proudly against the bring back Bennett movement since he is injury prone and won't last 5 days.

  14. #1544
    International Coach Hurricane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smalishah84 View Post
    Is there a legend that accompanies your smilies

    e.g. one of these means you find it mildly funny
    Three of these means you find it very funny
    Three of these means you are gasping for air.
    Last edited by Hurricane; 09-10-2012 at 03:35 AM.

  15. #1545
    International Captain wellAlbidarned's Avatar
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    Would've suffocated long ago if that were the case



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