'Off Topic: Legends Explained' official discussion

[pasag]

http://forum.cricketweb.net/showthread.php?t=23423

Funniest stuff, dead set. Good move by Jack as well to keep it locked.

Thoughts?

[pinchy81]

best reading since Fuller Best Of: and i dont read much

[Hoggy31]

Yeah, hillarious, Jack's best work.

[Perm]

Loved it, am looking forward to him covering things like Murhpygate and skd's ultimate greatness.

[Smudge]

Good work thus far. Would like to see a section on Casson's coterie.

[Craig]

Jack's finest hour perhaps?

[Pratters]

Jack = legend.

Just a suggestion.. a further reading in the end of each post can be added putting links to threads/posts worth reading related to the subect matter where you want..

[ash chaulk]

did need a bit more flayva for mine

[_Ed_]

It's awesome, fantastic stuff.

[Matt79]

Looking forward to "The Exile of Benchy"

[pasag]

Originally Posted by vic_orthdox

Alex Buddhy Blackman is the forum member “Buddhmaster”. He is renowned for his outspoken nature, penchant for violence, and is the only man ever to successfully occupy the hole in defence in front of Tony Lockett.

No-one knows the birth date of Buddhy, nor how old he is. This has allowed him to terrorize the U/19 division of Western Australian Football League for 8 years straight, despite numerous protests from rival clubs. What is known though is that Buddhy uppercutted himself out of the womb, leaving his mother with severe bruising on the inside of her stomach. She was never able to eat again. He is also the only recorded baby ever to have come out with thick designer stubble. His first words were “tinnie”, and began borrowing his old man’s shaving kit at 3 months, and used a shotgun to hit his first roo to celebrate his 1st birthday. He tells me it was delicious.

He was christened Alex, however anyone caught using this name within earshot of Buddhy usually finds him/herself on the receiving end of a flying inanimate carbon rod. During the ceremony, Buddhy decided the priest was taking too long, poured the water over himself, and uttered the immortal words… “**** off, poof”.

Buddhy divorced his parents when two years old, and they agreed to sign the documentation; mostly out of fear, also they were still hurting after each received two Blackman shirtfronts while preparing dinner that night. They put it down to the troubles of puberty, and that they’d see their boy again. Of course, everyone else knew that Buddhy was three months out of puberty, and a man in his prime – a prime that ceases to exist.

Since then Buddhy has stalked Northbridge, a suburb of Perth. Despite repeated warnings from their parents, youths continue to venture out into Blackman territory, mainly in large groups however as a form of protection. As opposed to hunting in packs, Buddh hunts for packs, and has been involved in a number of what can only be described as massacres, which the press put down to gang violence through the sheer number of people whom are hurt at a time.

On one particular night, the cops were called in. Well, not just the cops – 3 SWAT teams, and two military tanks for good measure. They took him down eventually, where he was given a good behaviour bond and let go. In an effort to cultivate a more peaceful personality, Buddhy came across CricketWeb, and presented himself as a delightful, pleasant young man.

However, years went past, and the influence of nibbs worse off as his behaviour became more erratic and violent. This coincided with him achieving the goal of having intercourse with every female posted in the “Hottest Women” thread, including Roseanne Barr whom someone posted as a gag. Most experts have put this change down to boredom, however as Christopher Walken said in Wedding Crashers, “Nature vs nurture – nature always wins”.

Buddhy has since been his rogue self, calling people and things as he sees it. This has seen him get in a lot of strife, and his reputation has gotten to the point where people are suggesting a showdown between him and Fuller. University of the Yale Physics Lecturer Michael Rogers is on the record saying that if Fuller and Buddhy were to be seen in the same suburb, chances are that the world’s tilt – currently at 23 degrees – would be catastrophically altered. However, some climate change experts believe that by having the two meet, it could alter the process of global warming by having Antarctica around the equator, while Australia ends up in the Arctic region, solving that whole “drought” problem. There have been many efforts to have the two meet, but injuries have so far prevented it.

Not many know that Rocky IV is actually based on the time Buddhy went to the USSR during the Cold War, except there was no official fight. He just dared Ivan Drago to hit him, after which Buddhy beat him to a pulp and rogered his missus. This still lives on as Buddhy’s greatest achievement in life, despite the fact that he is the only man to urinate on the ground at quarter time of an AFL game in 17 consecutive games without being caught on TV cameras.

That, my friends, is the story of one Buddhy Blackman.

[_Ed_]

Going from strength to strength, is Jack.

[pinchy81]

the Buddhy story best work yet imo

[alternative]

Yeh solid work indeed Jack.

[ash chaulk]

hairs stood up from my neck