Breaking Up

[cric_manic]

........Is hard to do



It really sux wen ur GF wants to break up,she says she still loves me but wants to 'take a break' so she can decide if she still wants to be with me,Honestly i dnt understand women,if she still loves me then why would she want to break up.

Its just frustrating wen u put all that time an energy into sumthing and u just come out hurt from the whole thing,so i ask wats the point? I put my life on hold for her and gave her everything she wanted,i put her before all my freinds and family and i lost my 2 best mates 4 her and i get nothing out of all this,i dnt see wat good a break will do if we do get back together there will still be all this doubt surrounding us

Eny way im sure no 1 realy cares but i just had to get that of my chest

Relationships=Waste of time and energy

[Perm]

Never been dumped myself, but cheer up. I'm sure things will get better.

[Prince EWS]

Well, you can take the good times - the joy, the happiness, the contentment - that you had with her out of it, I suppose. You may have devoted a lot of "time and effort" into it - but to say you got no reward is either just wrong, or indicative that you weren't particularly happy with her anyway. Some people devote their whole lives to a person they love but can never have, so you should look to take the positive of the fact that you had a good period of your life with her that you presumably enjoyed.

Deepest sympathies though - being dumped would be awful.

[Turbinator]

This should help...http://youtube.com/watch?v=EQE3zf-yzUs.

[cric_manic]

Originally Posted by Prince EWS

Well, you can take the good times - the joy, the happiness, the contentment - that you had with her out of it, I suppose. You may have devoted a lot of "time and effort" into it - but to say you got no reward is either just wrong, or indicative that you weren't particularly happy with her anyway. Some people devote their whole lives to a person they love but can never have, so you should look to take the positive of the fact that you had a good period of your life with her that you presumably enjoyed.

Deepest sympathies though - being dumped would be awful.

Its not that i got no reward,those were proberly the wrong words to use,im just trying to think weather the good times were worth the hurt at the end of it,idk

[Perm]

Is the glasa half full or half empty? Really it depends whether you want to focus on the positive or negative things that came out of your relationship.

[cric_manic]

Im the kind of person who will always focus on the negative,sad really

[Prince EWS]

Originally Posted by Perm

Is the glasa half full or half empty? Really it depends whether you want to focus on the positive or negative things that came out of your relationship.

Yeah, surely if I can take positives of being obsessively (and at some stages, medically damagingly) in love with someone I can never have, surely someone can find positives out of the entirety of a genuine relationship.

Don't get me wrong - he's justified in being upset about the dumping, however his opinion that he has wasted his time really irks me.

[Perm]

Originally Posted by cric_manic

Im the kind of person who will always focus on the negative,sad really

Then it's up to you in order to change your attitude if you want to be happier in life.

Originally Posted by Prince EWS

Yeah, surely if I can take positives of being obsessively (and at some stages, medically damagingly) in love with someone I can never have, surely someone can find positives out of the entirety of a genuine relationship.

Don't get me wrong - he's justified in being upset about the dumping, however his opinion that he has wasted his time really irks me.

Agree entirely, it's completely understandable to be upset about breaking up but by saying that he has wasted his time, indicates to me that he doesn't have the right attitude about the whole situation.

[cric_manic]

Originally Posted by Perm

Then it's up to you in order to change your attitude if you want to be happier in life.



Agree entirely, it's completely understandable to be upset about breaking up but by saying that he has wasted his time, indicates to me that he doesn't have the right attitude about the whole situation.

I cant change how i feel

[Matt79]

Its fair enough to feel cheated in a sense if you've committed time and effort to something only for the other party to walk away. It hurts, but although its cold comfort at the moment, these things happen for a reason.

IMO "I love you but..." is just saying "I don't love you" in a less direct manner, so its better you find this out now. I think the main thing for you is to make sure she understands she either stays in the relationship with you now or calls it quits for good - you're not available to maybe be in a relationship with her while she can't work out how she feels about you.

Grieve for the relationship, feel disappointed in her, and take a good look at yourself and try to analyse whether you contributed to this or not, and if so whether its a behaviour on your part that you want to change. Beyond that, respect yourself enough not to take "I can't decide how I feel about you" crap from her, mate. I don't know you, but I'm firmly convinced that everyone deserves somebody who is prepared to unreservedly accept them - if she can't, that's her loss.

Finally, time heals all wounds mate - it might not feel like it now, but in a shorter time than you think you'll be back on your feet!

[cric_manic]

Originally Posted by Matt79

Its fair enough to feel cheated in a sense if you've committed time and effort to something only for the other party to walk away. It hurts, but although its cold comfort at the moment, these things happen for a reason.

IMO "I love you but..." is just saying "I don't love you" in a less direct manner, so its better you find this out now. I think the main thing for you is to make sure she understands she either stays in the relationship with you now or calls it quits for good - you're not available to maybe be in a relationship with her while she can't work out how she feels about you.

Grieve for the relationship, feel disappointed in her, and take a good look at yourself and try to analyse whether you contributed to this or not, and if so whether its a behaviour on your part that you want to change. Beyond that, respect yourself enough not to take "I can't decide how I feel about you" crap from her, mate. I don't know you, but I'm firmly convinced that everyone deserves somebody who is prepared to unreservedly accept them - if she can't, that's her loss.

Finally, time heals all wounds mate - it might not feel like it now, but in a shorter time than you think you'll be back on your feet!

WOw thats good advice,thanks

[Jamee999]

You could sleep with someone else, and then try and get back together. After all, you're on a break.

[Perm]

Originally Posted by Jamee999

You could sleep with someone else, and then try and get back together. After all, you're on a break.

Classic.

[open365]

You know what's worse?

Never being in a relationship ever.

Now that sucks.