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How tough is Mike Hussey...

I know theres plenty around about Chuck.... but i got sent these today in an email, some are quite amusing :)

Quote:

When Mike Hussey goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Mike Hussey.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closetfor Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey counted to infinity - twice.

Mike Hussey invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise inventedpink.

When Mike Hussey does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Mike Hussey hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Mike Hussey gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Mike Hussey can slam a revolving door.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Mike Hussey can piss his name
Into concrete.

Mike Hussey once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Mike Hussey's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd;no one fools Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey can speak Braille.

Mike Hussey's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Superman owns a pair of Mike Hussey pyjamas.

Mike Hussey owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped himwin the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get
out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4card from the game Uno.

Mike Hussey sleeps with a night light. Not because Mike Hussey isafraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erectionswhen they touch his body.

Once a cobra bit Mike Hussey's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Mike Hussey divides by zero.

Mike Hussey is always on top during sex because Mike Hussey never ****s up.

When Mike Hussey exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Mike Hussey doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Mike Hussey sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled cricketing ability. Shortly after the transaction wasfinalized, Mike slog swept the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Mike Hussey can kill two stones with one bird.

Mike Hussey once had an erection while lying face down. He struckoil.

Mike Hussey once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "****ting bricks" wasn't just a figure ofspeech.

The only time Mike Hussey was wrong was when he thought he had madea mistake.

There just Jack Bauer jokes with Mike Hussey instead of Jack Bauer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by open365 (Post 1069488)

There just Jack Bauer jokes with Mike Hussey instead of Jack Bauer.

You mean all those jokes about Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Mike Hussey, Mr T and Vin Diesel aren't all completely different and original? I'm outraged.

It's funnier when the originals are changed a bit to suit the person, like Boonie's.

these r all old...yes they were better as orginals, suits norris booney better than hussey

It was orginally Vin Diesel itbt.

seen the same thing with Sean Fullers name in it

Quote:

Originally Posted by ash chaulk (Post 1069835)

seen the same thing with Sean Fullers name in it

More violent, obviously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buddhmaster (Post 1069821)

It was orginally Vin Diesel itbt.

Thought it weas David Hasselhoff tbh

Jesus, if you want to get technical...

Nah, it was deffers Vin.

These always seem funnier if they are done with intentions of irony.

For example, if AA or Dave were used. Or better yet, Saj...

One day, Saj Mahmood bowled a delivery that beat the batsmen.

The world exploded from the impossibility of it all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NZTailender (Post 1071596)

One day, Saj Mahmood bowled a delivery that beat the batsmen.

The world exploded from the impossibility of it all.

I think "bowled a maiden over" would be more surreal. :p

Heard these the other day on Grandstand.