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Thread: What did you learn at college?

  1. #1
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Icon8 What did you learn at college?

    After going to college I've learnt quite a lot.

    --> How to sleep in the class with your eyes open.
    --> How to cram the entire book in one day.
    --> How to listen to songs sung by enunchs at 2 in the night.
    --> How to find out which guys apply fair and handsome cream.
    --> How to survive on chocolates and biscuits.
    --> How to blame others for your faults in the most effective and optimal way.

    I've learnt other things also, but these have proved to be the most fruitful.

    Yaju
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    The Wheel is Forever silentstriker's Avatar
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    My whole purpose of college right now is to prepare myself for getting into Oxford after I graduate for MBA.
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    "The future light cone of the next Indian fast bowler is exactly the same as the past light cone of the previous one"
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    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    How to shut the person sat next to you's computer down using just the keyboard.

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    International Vice-Captain 33/3from3.3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yaju
    After going to college I've learnt quite a lot.

    --> How to sleep in the class with your eyes open.
    --> How to cram the entire book in one day.
    --> How to listen to songs sung by enunchs at 2 in the night.
    --> How to find out which guys apply fair and handsome cream.
    --> How to survive on chocolates and biscuits.
    --> How to blame others for your faults in the most effective and optimal way.

    I've learnt other things also, but these have proved to be the most fruitful.

    Teach me, oh master.
    Maria - Due December

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    "So this is what it feels like to be on top of a batsmen".
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    Cricketer Of The Year Turbinator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentstriker
    My whole purpose of college right now is to prepare myself for getting into Oxford after I graduate for MBA.
    Why not Harvard instead?

  6. #6
    cpr
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    Quote Originally Posted by yaju
    --> How to listen to songs sung by enunchs at 2 in the night.

    haha, that is some lession.


    due to my sheer lazyness at school, and refusal to do homework, i learnt how to lie convincingly to those who matter. Then i went and did a degree in politics

    Uni taught me many useful things

    *how to have a balanced diet with just 37p a day
    *how to effectively steal and conceal roadwork insignia, even infront of police officers (or bus drivers who dont like you taking your traffic cone on the bus with you)
    *that mobile phones are neither bogwater proof or beer proof. However the optimum elevation for best bouncing distance is about 35-45 degrees.... also handy when playing smack the penguin)
    *how to succesfully conceal your love life from your prying flatmates knowledge, even when they walk straight past you whilst your on a date.
    *cow tipping doesnt work on ceramic cows that are anchored to the ground
    *how to get a TV licence, or indeed any other utility bill, for a year at 1 months price
    *Walking to uni is more cost-efficient than taking the car, but staying in bed and photocopying your flatmates notes is more energy-efficient


    Valuable lessons all round
    "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
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    GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
    Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
    Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

  7. #7
    International Coach PhoenixFire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cpr
    *Walking to uni is more cost-efficient than taking the car, but staying in bed and photocopying your flatmates notes is more energy-efficient


    Valuable lessons all round
    That is one lesson we can all learn from, well done
    Quote Originally Posted by Top_Cat View Post
    1) Had double pneumonia as a kid, as did my twin sis. Doctors told my parents to pray that we lived through the night. Dad said **** off, I'm an atheist, you ****s better save my kids, etc. Then prayed anyway.

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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentstriker
    My whole purpose of college right now is to prepare myself for getting into Oxford after I graduate for MBA.
    I live nearby, when you get in you should get in touch.
    Quote Originally Posted by cpr View Post
    3. Although Cow Tipping is a hilarious student game in backwater towns such as Bangor, there really is no need for Mitchell to cover one side of the cow in superglue

  9. #9
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cpr
    haha, that is some lession.


    due to my sheer lazyness at school, and refusal to do homework, i learnt how to lie convincingly to those who matter. Then i went and did a degree in politics

    Uni taught me many useful things

    *how to have a balanced diet with just 37p a day
    *how to effectively steal and conceal roadwork insignia, even infront of police officers (or bus drivers who dont like you taking your traffic cone on the bus with you)
    *that mobile phones are neither bogwater proof or beer proof. However the optimum elevation for best bouncing distance is about 35-45 degrees.... also handy when playing smack the penguin)
    *how to succesfully conceal your love life from your prying flatmates knowledge, even when they walk straight past you whilst your on a date.
    *cow tipping doesnt work on ceramic cows that are anchored to the ground
    *how to get a TV licence, or indeed any other utility bill, for a year at 1 months price
    *Walking to uni is more cost-efficient than taking the car, but staying in bed and photocopying your flatmates notes is more energy-efficient


    Valuable lessons all round
    Good list tbh.
    I also learnt that Keyboards aren't beerproof after i spilt a can of carling over mine and it dissolved the circuitry.

  10. #10
    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentstriker
    My whole purpose of college right now is to prepare myself for getting into Oxford
    Oh dear. Not going to snob school are you?

  11. #11
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Matteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    Oh dear. Not going to snob school are you?
    Come on, you know i go to Bangor. Got two mates that go to Oxford who are sound and i nearly ended up at Oxford *whispers* (Brookes).

    Oxford is pretty close to where i live, get on the train at Moreton-in-Marsh and it's about 30mins.

  12. #12
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    I've learned that 2.5-5 hour bus trips with any uni -related sporting team ALWAYS results in drunken nudity

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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    How to shut the person sat next to you's computer down using just the keyboard.
    Go on...
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

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    Cricket Web Content Updater roseboy64's Avatar
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    Seems like I've got a lot to learn next year.
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    International Captain Dravid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbinator
    Why not Harvard instead?
    Because he loves the word mate.

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