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Thread: Prank Calls

  1. #1
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    Prank Calls

    Just inspired by the recent radio calls, thought I'd share some of our material from college..

    In the first episode, Mrs Crowe wants some cement, but the real punchline comes right at the end.. Watch as we leave the cement man in hysterics..

    My wife wants some cement
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    Don't like using my iPod dock. Ruins battery life too much.
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    Thanks Dick Smith. Will remember to subscribe to your newsletter for more electronic fun facts.


  2. #2
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Elm, he do brood. And Oak, he do hate. But the Willow-man goes walking, If you stays out late.
    brilliant, i have some good ones lying around, allow me to find them.

  3. #3
    Cricketer Of The Year Kweek's Avatar
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    Haarlem, The Netherlands
    did this one a few years ago(4/5)
    az||muse O+ zegt:
    we went into the phonebook and phoned a guy called Mosterd, and my girl next door said..Hello Mr Mosterd? Im missus Mayonaise and I want to date
    Taz||muse O+ zegt:
    the guy was 70 odd
    RSA 21 - 20 NZ zegt:
    Taz||muse O+ zegt:
    I reckon we can mix very well she said too
    P.S. We beat England at Lord's
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgey View Post
    I think it's really disappointing of her - would only take a minute or two of her time....
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    Wishful thinking on your behalf.

  4. #4
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    In the next installment, Comic Book guy is looking to puchase some gas.. Comic Book Guy

  5. #5
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Aug 2004
    Elm, he do brood. And Oak, he do hate. But the Willow-man goes walking, If you stays out late.
    heres a good one. Its just a guy phoning the kellogs hotline about a challenge they have advertised, hilarious imo.

    KELLOGG'S: This is Betsy, how can I help you?

    JOHN HARGRAVE: I was eating some Mini-Wheats, and I read about the Fiber Challenge, you know, where you challenge people to eat your cereal for two weeks?

    KELLOGG'S: Yes.

    JH: I started eating it regularly, and I noticed a difference all right.

    KELLOGG'S: [Long pause]

    JH: Do you know what it was?

    KELLOGG'S: As far as what, sir?

    JH: Do you know what happens when you eat a lot of fiber?

    KELLOGG'S: No.

    JH: You don't know the benefit of eating a lot of fiber?

    KELLOGG'S: I mean, yes. It, uh, it regulates you.

    JH: I'll say. I have been on the commode for six solid hours. And when I say "solid," I use that term loosely. Do you get my meaning?

    KELLOGG'S: Yes, sir. I do apologize about that.

    JH: I haven't seen this much brown since I visited the UPS headquarters.

    KELLOGG'S: I'm sorry to hear about this. Now, ah, how much cereal did you consume?

    JH: A box a day, just like you suggested.

    KELLOGG'S: An entire box?

    JH: In the morning, sure. Then a couple of bowls of All-Bran in the afternoon.

    KELLOGG'S: Sir, we recommend one bowl per day.

    JH: What? No, it says box. Hang on. I've got it here ... oh. Oh, no. Oh boy.

    KELLOGG'S: We encourage people to have a bowl a day.

    JH: Well, what if the bowl is big? Like a mixing bowl?

    KELLOGG'S: Let me go ahead and get your name.

    JH: You know, you guys really should be more clear about this. "Box" looks an awful lot like "bowl."

    KELLOGG'S: I'll be happy to pass your comments along, if I can just get your contact information.

    JH: My Lord. It's like a smoked ham exploded in here. Can I send you pictures, so you can see what do to your customers?

    KELLOGG'S: It's up to your discretion.

    JH: It looks like a Yule log. You should call yourself YULElogg's, not Kellogg's.

    KELLOGG'S: I do apologize for that, sir.

    JH: Look, I'm worried. What should I do? I can't even get off the toilet here. I'm afraid I'll frisbee out another platter of bun fudge.

    KELLOGG'S: Well Mr. Hargrave, all I can suggest is for you to contact your physician. The challenge is to eat a bowl a day, not a box.

    JH: How is that a challenge?

    KELLOGG'S: Uh, it's not really, a challenge, it just makes you feel better.

    JH: Why do you call it a challenge, then?

    KELLOGG'S: All I can suggest is for you not to consume any more of it.

    JH: Why?! Am I going to get cancer?

    KELLOGG'S: I'd suggest you call your physician.

    JH: Are you guys going to reimburse me for a plumber?

    KELLOGG'S: I've never heard of, uh, anything like this, but I can pass your comments along and see what they say.

    JH: [Long sigh, followed by gasping and mild choking] Can I ... [hacking] ... can I at least get some free cereal?

    KELLOGG'S: We typically don't give out free cereal, sir.

    JH: Give me a break. I've got to deal with Stool and the Gang here.

    KELLOGG'S: Again, I will be happy to forward along your comments.

    JH: OK, one second. [Loud flushing noise] Oh boy. I'm going to have to use a spatula on this.

    KELLOGG'S: Can I do anything else for you, sir?

    JH: Believe me, you and your cereal have done enough.

    KELLOGG'S: Thank you for calling Kellogg's.

    JH: [Flushing]

  6. #6
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    Bwaahahahhahahaha.... funniest thing I've ever read!!
    'Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'farewell! Every happiness and prosperity! If, in the progress of revolving years, I could persuade myself that my blighted destiny had been a warning to you, I should feel that I had not occupied another man's place in existence altogether in vain.
    - Wilkins Micawber

  7. #7
    Cricket Web XI Moderator lord_of_darkness's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHHA.. lol that dude carried that conversation with class~!
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  8. #8
    International Vice-Captain 33/3from3.3's Avatar
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    Hell In A Cell
    yeah. A prank calling genius
    Maria - Due December

    Quote Originally Posted by NUFAN View Post
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    RIP Fardin Qayummi - 15th April 2006

  9. #9
    PY is offline
    International Coach PY's Avatar
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    A mate gave me this, supposedly some lads in his halls did it....

    WARNING: Language isn't the best on this
    Attached Files Attached Files
    A True Champion - Bob. Rest in peace. 15/04/06
    "People today have too big a devil and too small a God"

    - Stephen Currie

    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

  10. #10
    Cricket Web Content Updater alternative's Avatar
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    Wow, Brilliant.. lol
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  11. #11
    State 12th Man
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    And when I say "solid," I use that term loosely.
    That's just genius.

  12. #12
    International Coach Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    All over the shop
    Absolutely awesome. All of them.

  13. #13
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    In our next installment, Mr Crowe finds himself getting more than just insurance..

    Mr Jim Crowe (JC)

  14. #14
    Spanish_Vicente sledger's Avatar
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    Elm, he do brood. And Oak, he do hate. But the Willow-man goes walking, If you stays out late.
    heres another one from the same source as the kellogs one i listed above. It involves the same guy calling the company who makes the cheeto's crisps with an enquiry.

    FRITO-LAY: Thank you for calling Frito-Lay, this is Alice. How may I help you?

    JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi. I was eating a bag of your Puffed Cheetos the other day, and I noticed that you say they are "dangerously cheesy."

    FL: Uh-huh.

    JH: I have a six-year-old daughter, and I'm worried about her eating something dangerous.

    FL: [Chuckle] That's, uh, that's an advertisement. Our marketing department thought it was catchy. Cheetos are not threatening, or dangerous, at all.

    JH: Do they contain shards of glass?

    FL: No. By "dangerously cheesy," we just mean they are very cheesy.

    JH: Do Cheetos cause cancer?

    FL: No. Rest assured, you have nothing to worry about.

    JH: Will they explode in your mouth?

    FL: No.

    JH: So they don't explode with cheesy flavor?

    FL: [Pause] Is there anything else I can help you with today?

    JH: It's just that "dangerous" is such a dangerous-sounding word.

    FL: Sir, it's just an advertisement.

    JH: So you're advertising that your product is dangerous?

    FL: No, no. If it was dangerous, the FDA wouldn't allow us to keep the product on the market. We follow all FDA regulations.

    JH: Okay. You're absolutely sure your Cheetos are safe to eat?

    FL: Yes sir.

    JH: Even if my daughter is extremely allergic to cheese?

    FL: OK, then, yeah. I wouldn't recommend you give her that product.

    JH: One bite and she goes into anaphylactic shock. Do you know what that is?

    FL: No. What is that?

    JH: She can die in three hours if we don't get her to a hospital.

    FL: OK, well this is a cheese product, ma'am. I recommend you don't give her that.

    JH: So they are dangerous?

    FL: They're not dangerous. [Flustered] They're not dangerous. If she's allergic to cheese, she could get sick from that. But they're not dangerous.

    JH: I really wish you'd make up your mind. Your packaging says it's dangerous, then you tell me it's not, then you tell me it is.

    FL: I never said it was dangerous. You're misleading the conversation. You just shouldn't give it to her if she's allergic to cheese. We have patients that are allergic to gluten. They shouldn't eat any of our products that contain gluten.

    JH: It just seems like there's a little confusion over there at Frito-Lay on whether it's dangerous or not.

    FL: No, it's not a dangerous product. If it was dangerous, it wouldn't be sold to consumers.

    JH: Well, I would also think it wouldn't say the word "dangerous" on the front.

    FL: It's, it's ... it's all advertisement. It's just another way of saying they're extremely cheesy.

    JH: You wouldn't say "fatally cheesy." Because people might think that you'd die.

    FL: Okay, I'll pass all this along to our marketing department.

    JH: I'd appreciate that. I mean, why not just call them "deadly cheesy"?

    FL: Sir, I understand this is a problem FOR YOU. I will be sure to pass your comments along.

    JH: "Asphyxiatingly cheesy"?

    FL: There's nothing I can do on my end as far as you feeling that way. But I'll be sure to document this call. Thank you for calling Frito-Lay!

    JH: Hang on Alice. One second. I've got another call coming in. Can you hang on?

    FL: Okay.

    [I put down the phone for approximately two minutes, and Alice patiently waits]

    JH: I'm sorry, that was the doctor on the other line. It was the allergist. We just got my daughter's allergy tests back, and good news. She's not allergic to cheese after all.

    FL: Okay. Well then, it's up to you whether you want to give the product to her or not.

    JH: Great, so they're not dangerous?

    FL: No.

    JH: He said she was allergic to something called gluten?

    FL: OK. [At the end of her rope] OK. All right, well, you may not want to give this product to her then.

    JH: You're really flip-flopping on me here, Alice.

    FL: I'll be sure to pass your comments along. Thank you for calling Frito-Lay, and you have a good day. [Hangs up on me]

  15. #15
    Cricketer Of The Year Kweek's Avatar
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    gosh thats funny

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