Took me a while.
Why is it that with all the girls who are actually attracted to us, it's the one who isn't that we can't stop thinking about?
I met a girl a few years back and was instantly attracted to her. For a variety of reasons I didn't act on it straight away and purposefully avoided even getting to know her for around a year or two.
A couple of years back we entered into each others' orbits again and I ended up asking her out. Anyway she rejected me and things with her were awkward for a long time (after it she specifically avoided going to anything I was invited to for a couple of months). I didn't take the rejection very well either (not that I ever showed her that).
Anyway life moved on and I got over her. Had other love interests etc... Anyway I saw her again a few times at various parties and we'd exchange pleasantries. Then she started making a few comments about how she was following me on facebook and enjoyed my posts etc... We eventually exchanged a couple of messages and I told her I'd be out her way one weekend and that it would be nice to do coffee. I got absolutely no reply. Silence. I just happened to run into her like a week later completely coincidentally (I was invited somewhere by a friend who had nothing to do with this girl) and we had the most awkward interaction. Finally I decided that she wasn't worth it any more and I deleted her from facebook.
I saw her again at the music festival I was at all weekend and she's been dominating my thoughts and it's driving me crazy. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I have absolutely no control about how I feel around her. It takes one tiny look after not having seen her for six whole months and I'm completely under her spell. It's ridiculous and stupid but it's not even a sexual thing either, I just want to be in her presence.
**** I hate emotions.
Course it's bloody sexual.
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Last edited by Top_Cat; 24-04-2011 at 07:50 AM.
I'm sure Burgey gets it. We all do, mate. Been there.
In my opinion (and it's obviously quite individual), you can get over the girls who are catnip/kryptonite. It is tough, though, and the hardest part is deciding to let go. Actually need to make the decision, take control of it in my experience.
My personal experience was with my girlfriend years ago. Took a long, long time to work my way through that (first love, etc.) and after we broke up, the feeling would taper off slightly then ramp up past 11 if I saw her. Figured I'd never get past it. Interestingly, having long moved on and made the decision to let her go, bumped into her a while back and whilst we still had the great mates thing we did before we hooked up, absolutely none of the romantic feeling was there any more. Big relief, tbh.
This is more a facepalm than asking for advice, but why do people take "a break" (wtf?), split up because one wastes their time playing video games and ignoring the other, then after a couple of weeks get back together and I walk in after the holidays and surprise surprise, someone is playing video games in the others bedroom using internet I bloody pay a quarter of?
Seriously, of all the things I wanted to see at 11pm after a long drive in the rain, that ranks just above seeing Silentstriker naked and not much else. What makes it more miserable is if/when this goes sour a second time, I don't want to hear about it, and if I do I'm going to rage quit and the rest of the flat can sort it out.
You raise valid points.
IMO you've gotten yourself way too attached to someone you (from what I've read) barely know. Address that first.
I guess the other thing is that I like confrontation and she's never given me that. Never told me she doesn't like me or doesn't want me around. She's just silent. It'd be easier if she'd yell at me.
You might just have to back yourself not to be lovey fuffy around her then. It's doable.
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