World's funniest joke?

luckyeddie · 03-10-2002, 05:30 AM

The joke which received the highest global ratings was submitted by 31-year-old psychiatrist Gurpal Gosall, from Manchester. Here it is:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence - then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Can you do better?

luckyeddie · 03-10-2002, 05:34 AM

<quack I wrote it>

You didn't know about the competition

<quack there is no competition>

You're incorrigible

<quack no, I'm in the bath>

Eyes_Only · 03-10-2002, 07:00 AM

You have a very sick mind my friend...

But I love it!! :baddevil:

Kimbo · 04-10-2002, 02:51 AM

Well, kiwis will get this one.

By coincidence, Helen Clarke, Winston Peters and Richard Prebble all died on the same day. The turned up at the pearly gates and St Peter said he just had to run a check on what kind of soul they had.
He asked Helen Clarke what her name was, then said, "Clarke, right that makes you a C soul". He then asked Winston Peters, and told him he was a "P soul."
Richard Prebble piped up, "my lats name is Prebble so I must be a P sould too!"
St Peter replied "No in your case we made an exception and used your first name, that makes you an R-soul."

sean · 07-10-2002, 02:03 AM

I read in the paper this Sunday that stupid hunter joke was actually the funniest joke in the world because of some stupid tests they did!

I reckon the biggest joke in the world is reading Trevor Gillmeister and Wayne Bennetts columns in the paper - every one is done of a template. Here is is

HEADLINE: Brisbane Robbed/Other Witty Word by Insert Excuse Here

BODY: Mention following points:
- Brisbanes Penalty Count (If against. If Brisbane got more penalties, omit)
- NSW cheating to make the game more accessible for Sydney teams to win
- NSW arrogance/propaganda in media
- NSW was actually a subsidary of QLD, not the other way around
- I remember when I was playing....
- I dont mean to whinge, but ....

etc etc

age_master · 07-10-2002, 04:25 AM

a man walks into a bar.......ouch

thats about as funny as the one that won the comp anyway

A Blonde and a Brunett jump of a building - who hits the ground first

The Brunette caus ethe blonde had to stop and ask for directions

yaju · 07-10-2002, 08:15 PM

The submittor hails from Punjab and is a Sardar.

:O:O:O:O

:wow:

:cool2 ::duh::duh:

.

Paid The Umpire · 08-10-2002, 10:55 PM

Here is a good one.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assulted (A Salted).... PEANUT!

yaju · 12-10-2002, 06:28 AM

Childeren's day comes 9 months after Valentine's day.

luckyeddie · 12-10-2002, 06:29 AM

Nice one, Yaju (as always)

anthonysw · 12-10-2002, 10:07 AM

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Was that bad enough??

I am limited because all my good jokes cant be repeated on a public forum

luckyeddie · 12-10-2002, 10:15 AM

Three statisticians went hunting.

They all saw a deer.

Statistician 1 fired and missed to the left.

Statistician 2 fired and missed to the right.

Statistician 3 said "We got it!"

luckyeddie · 12-10-2002, 11:15 AM

A cheese sandwich walked into a bar and asked for a pint.

The barman replied "I'm sorry, we don't serve food"

yaju · 13-10-2002, 06:27 AM

Thanks lucky!

If olive oil is made from olive, palm oil from palm, what is baby oil made of?

What is the height of heights?
Excreting on the top of Mount Everest only to make it an inch higher.

03-10-2002, 05:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	World's funniest joke? The joke which received the highest global ratings was submitted by 31-year-old psychiatrist Gurpal Gosall, from Manchester. Here it is: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence - then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" Can you do better? __________________ Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

03-10-2002, 07:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
Eyes_Only International Debutant Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Inverell, Northern NSW Posts: 2,273	You have a very sick mind my friend... But I love it!! :baddevil: __________________ Simon Taufel---ICC Umpire Of The Year 2005/2006/2007 Proud Member of CW Green Proud member of the Stedingham Jets Grade Cricket Team NSW Blues---ING Cup Champions 2005/2006 3rd May 1955-19th January 2004----RIP Hookesy "Just keep your mouth shut and I'll only have to think you're stupid." The golden rule of umpiring according to the world's best cricket umpire, Australia's Simon Taufel.

04-10-2002, 02:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kimbo International Debutant Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: london Posts: 2,835	Well, kiwis will get this one. By coincidence, Helen Clarke, Winston Peters and Richard Prebble all died on the same day. The turned up at the pearly gates and St Peter said he just had to run a check on what kind of soul they had. He asked Helen Clarke what her name was, then said, "Clarke, right that makes you a C soul". He then asked Winston Peters, and told him he was a "P soul." Richard Prebble piped up, "my lats name is Prebble so I must be a P sould too!" St Peter replied "No in your case we made an exception and used your first name, that makes you an R-soul." __________________ life's a gift thats why they call it the present

07-10-2002, 04:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
age_master Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia Posts: 15,777	a man walks into a bar.......ouch thats about as funny as the one that won the comp anyway A Blonde and a Brunett jump of a building - who hits the ground first The Brunette caus ethe blonde had to stop and ask for directions __________________ Member of CW Green Kerry O'Keefe - Worlds funniest Commentator

08-10-2002, 10:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
Paid The Umpire All Time Legend Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: In Your House, With A Knife! Posts: 2,300	Here is a good one. Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assulted (A Salted).... PEANUT! __________________ JOIN the CRICKETWEB.NET STEAM GROUP

03-10-2002, 05:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	<quack I wrote it> You didn't know about the competition <quack there is no competition> You're incorrigible <quack no, I'm in the bath>

07-10-2002, 02:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
sean School Boy/Girl Captain Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Australia Posts: 177	I read in the paper this Sunday that stupid hunter joke was actually the funniest joke in the world because of some stupid tests they did! I reckon the biggest joke in the world is reading Trevor Gillmeister and Wayne Bennetts columns in the paper - every one is done of a template. Here is is HEADLINE: Brisbane Robbed/Other Witty Word by Insert Excuse Here BODY: Mention following points: - Brisbanes Penalty Count (If against. If Brisbane got more penalties, omit) - NSW cheating to make the game more accessible for Sydney teams to win - NSW arrogance/propaganda in media - NSW was actually a subsidary of QLD, not the other way around - I remember when I was playing.... - I dont mean to whinge, but .... etc etc

12-10-2002, 06:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
yaju State Vice-Captain Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Jalandhar, Punjab, India Posts: 1,313	Childeren's day comes 9 months after Valentine's day.

12-10-2002, 06:29 AM	#10 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	Nice one, Yaju (as always)

12-10-2002, 10:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
anthonysw U19 Cricketer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: (Adelaide) Australia Posts: 403	Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? Was that bad enough?? I am limited because all my good jokes cant be repeated on a public forum __________________ -----------------My Signature-----------------

12-10-2002, 10:15 AM	#12 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	Three statisticians went hunting. They all saw a deer. Statistician 1 fired and missed to the left. Statistician 2 fired and missed to the right. Statistician 3 said "We got it!"

12-10-2002, 11:15 AM	#13 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	A cheese sandwich walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman replied "I'm sorry, we don't serve food"

13-10-2002, 06:27 AM	#14 (permalink)
yaju State Vice-Captain Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Jalandhar, Punjab, India Posts: 1,313	Thanks lucky! If olive oil is made from olive, palm oil from palm, what is baby oil made of? What is the height of heights? Excreting on the top of Mount Everest only to make it an inch higher.

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