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Thread: World's funniest joke?

  1. #1
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    World's funniest joke?

    The joke which received the highest global ratings was submitted by 31-year-old psychiatrist Gurpal Gosall, from Manchester. Here it is:

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence - then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


    Can you do better?

    Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

  2. #2
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack I wrote it>

    You didn't know about the competition

    <quack there is no competition>

    You're incorrigible

    <quack no, I'm in the bath>

  3. #3
    International Debutant Eyes_Only's Avatar
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    You have a very sick mind my friend...

    But I love it!! :baddevil:
    Simon Taufel---ICC Umpire Of The Year 2005/2006/2007


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    3rd May 1955-19th January 2004----RIP Hookesy


    "Just keep your mouth shut and I'll only have to think you're stupid." The golden rule of umpiring according to the world's best cricket umpire, Australia's Simon Taufel.

  4. #4
    International Debutant Kimbo's Avatar
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    Well, kiwis will get this one.

    By coincidence, Helen Clarke, Winston Peters and Richard Prebble all died on the same day. The turned up at the pearly gates and St Peter said he just had to run a check on what kind of soul they had.
    He asked Helen Clarke what her name was, then said, "Clarke, right that makes you a C soul". He then asked Winston Peters, and told him he was a "P soul."
    Richard Prebble piped up, "my lats name is Prebble so I must be a P sould too!"
    St Peter replied "No in your case we made an exception and used your first name, that makes you an R-soul."
    life's a gift thats why they call it the present


  5. #5
    School Boy/Girl Captain
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    I read in the paper this Sunday that stupid hunter joke was actually the funniest joke in the world because of some stupid tests they did!

    I reckon the biggest joke in the world is reading Trevor Gillmeister and Wayne Bennetts columns in the paper - every one is done of a template. Here is is

    HEADLINE: Brisbane Robbed/Other Witty Word by Insert Excuse Here

    BODY: Mention following points:
    - Brisbanes Penalty Count (If against. If Brisbane got more penalties, omit)
    - NSW cheating to make the game more accessible for Sydney teams to win
    - NSW arrogance/propaganda in media
    - NSW was actually a subsidary of QLD, not the other way around
    - I remember when I was playing....
    - I dont mean to whinge, but ....

    etc etc

  6. #6
    Hall of Fame Member age_master's Avatar
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    a man walks into a bar.......ouch

    thats about as funny as the one that won the comp anyway




    A Blonde and a Brunett jump of a building - who hits the ground first


    The Brunette caus ethe blonde had to stop and ask for directions


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    Kerry O'Keefe - Worlds funniest Commentator

  7. #7
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    The submittor hails from Punjab and is a Sardar.

    :O:O:O:O:wow::duh::duh:.
    Yaju
    Self Proclaimed World's Greatest 12th Man.

    I like wasting homo sapiens' time - like the way I wasted yours just now.

    Quote Originally Posted by 5N1p3R j0C|<
    Why are you wasting time your reading others' quotes?
    Quote Originally Posted by DD
    <quack>

  8. #8
    All Time Legend Paid The Umpire's Avatar
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    Here is a good one.

    Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assulted (A Salted).... PEANUT!

  9. #9
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Childeren's day comes 9 months after Valentine's day.

  10. #10
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Nice one, Yaju (as always)

  11. #11
    U19 Cricketer anthonysw's Avatar
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    Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
    Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

    Was that bad enough?? I am limited because all my good jokes cant be repeated on a public forum
    -----------------My Signature-----------------

  12. #12
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Three statisticians went hunting.

    They all saw a deer.

    Statistician 1 fired and missed to the left.

    Statistician 2 fired and missed to the right.

    Statistician 3 said "We got it!"

  13. #13
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    A cheese sandwich walked into a bar and asked for a pint.

    The barman replied "I'm sorry, we don't serve food"

  14. #14
    State Vice-Captain yaju's Avatar
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    Thanks lucky!

    If olive oil is made from olive, palm oil from palm, what is baby oil made of?

    What is the height of heights?
    Excreting on the top of Mount Everest only to make it an inch higher.



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