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Thread: First Chapter of a Story I'm writing...

  1. #1
    Cricket Spectator Nuclear Spoon's Avatar
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    First Chapter of a Story I'm writing...

    If anyone's interested.
    http://rapidshare.de/files/5139838/E...ter_1.rtf.html

    Comments and ratings welcome.

  2. #2
    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
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    Certainly bizarrely amusing in places... haven't the faintest idea what the plot's leading to, mind!
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    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    That's great





    ...I couldn't make head nor tail of it, but I liked it.







    enjoying the warm summer sunlight (and cancerous UV-rays) on his face

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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    How amusingly odd. I like it
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.


  5. #5
    Banned Blaze's Avatar
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    Yeah good start IMO. Keep it up.

  6. #6
    International Debutant DJellett's Avatar
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    Awesome. Love the footnotes Good work
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  7. #7
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    I wouldn't know the most about judging writing, but I like it, even if I couldn't really work out what it was about.

  8. #8
    Cricket Spectator Nuclear Spoon's Avatar
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    All those who are confused about the plot, have no fear. I am yet to develop a plot, and the point of this is to see how far I can write this before I run out of inspiration. Thanks for the comments anyway.

    I'm 14 years old if anyone's wondering.

  9. #9
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
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    Good start buddy. If you want honest feedback though, there a couple of things you can work on off the bat. You've obviously got a knack for words, so keep the storywriting going and you'll improve out of sight - but mark my words: stories that are random quickly get boring for the reader. I didn't even think Douglas Adams was worth much more than a kick in the pants.

    If you want feedback as a 14 year old though, it's a marvellous effort.
    'Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'farewell! Every happiness and prosperity! If, in the progress of revolving years, I could persuade myself that my blighted destiny had been a warning to you, I should feel that I had not occupied another man's place in existence altogether in vain.
    - Wilkins Micawber



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