Weird news stories

[Matteh]

Personally i'm interested in what sort of grades he got...

[Anna]

Four-legged duckling shocks owner

[Matteh]

Haha, looks like a local news programme's joke story for the week.

[shortpitched713]

Originally Posted by Anna

Four-legged duckling shocks owner

Needs to mate with another four legged duck for mine.

[Smudge]

DILDO
FORMER NZ JOCKEY ADMITS HE TRIED TO "CHEAT THE SYSTEM"
By Glenn Davis
Brisbane, March 1 AAP - A former New Zealand jockey caught using a sex aid to deceive stewards in a drug test has admitted a moment of panic led to his indiscretion.
Jason Warrington was one of 19 track riders and jockeys nabbed in a drug raid at Toowoomba's Clifford Park racecourse in Queensland on Tuesday.
Warrington had left the track when he was asked by Queensland Racing stewards to come back to provide a urine sample for precautionary drug testing.
Acting chief steward John Hackett became suspicious of Warrington's actions while he attempted to give a urine sample and caught him squeezing urine from a dildo concealed inside his pants.
Warrington confessed he had panicked when asked to provide a urine sample as he had smoked marijuana at a weekend party.
"I tried to cheat the system and I got caught," Warrington told Radio TAB today.
"It was one of those stupid things you do. I've had some bad luck recently. My wife and I have just split up and she's taken the kids.
"I went to a party in Toowoomba on Saturday night and had a puff on a marijuana cigarette. When it came to the testing I just panicked."
Warrington admitted his mistake was unprofessional and it was the first time in his 16-year riding career he had been in trouble with stewards over a drug test.
"To have a puff on a marijuana cigarette was a stupid thing to do," he said.
"My wife and I are against it (drugs) as we're church people and it's brought shame to my family."
Warrington said after he returned home following trackwork he got a call from a steward asking him to return to the course to provide a urine sample.
"I managed to get hold of a device that would hold urine and got some urine from someone I knew wouldn't be positive," he said.
"I've had at least 50 tests in my life but the stewards made me drop my pants down to my ankles.
"It's embarrassing enough to give a sample in front of stewards but to drop your strides was more embarrassing."
Warrington has been stood down from riding pending further investigations by stewards into the matter.

[BoyBrumby]

Originally Posted by Voltman

DILDO
FORMER NZ JOCKEY ADMITS HE TRIED TO "CHEAT THE SYSTEM"
By Glenn Davis
Brisbane, March 1 AAP - A former New Zealand jockey caught using a sex aid to deceive stewards in a drug test has admitted a moment of panic led to his indiscretion.
Jason Warrington was one of 19 track riders and jockeys nabbed in a drug raid at Toowoomba's Clifford Park racecourse in Queensland on Tuesday.
Warrington had left the track when he was asked by Queensland Racing stewards to come back to provide a urine sample for precautionary drug testing.
Acting chief steward John Hackett became suspicious of Warrington's actions while he attempted to give a urine sample and caught him squeezing urine from a dildo concealed inside his pants.
Warrington confessed he had panicked when asked to provide a urine sample as he had smoked marijuana at a weekend party.
"I tried to cheat the system and I got caught," Warrington told Radio TAB today.
"It was one of those stupid things you do. I've had some bad luck recently. My wife and I have just split up and she's taken the kids.
"I went to a party in Toowoomba on Saturday night and had a puff on a marijuana cigarette. When it came to the testing I just panicked."
Warrington admitted his mistake was unprofessional and it was the first time in his 16-year riding career he had been in trouble with stewards over a drug test.
"To have a puff on a marijuana cigarette was a stupid thing to do," he said.
"My wife and I are against it (drugs) as we're church people and it's brought shame to my family."
Warrington said after he returned home following trackwork he got a call from a steward asking him to return to the course to provide a urine sample.
"I managed to get hold of a device that would hold urine and got some urine from someone I knew wouldn't be positive," he said.
"I've had at least 50 tests in my life but the stewards made me drop my pants down to my ankles.
"It's embarrassing enough to give a sample in front of stewards but to drop your strides was more embarrassing."
Warrington has been stood down from riding pending further investigations by stewards into the matter.

Maradona beat him to it.

[andyc]

Child kills giant pig



That's one ****ing big pig.

[Perm]

Originally Posted by andyc

Child kills giant pig



That's one ****ing big pig.

Holy ****! What a monster.

[pasag]

Just a really small kid for mine.

[Fiery]

Originally Posted by BoyBrumby

Maradona beat him to it.

Police said "It's quite an unusual theft but I suppose it is valuable because of its former owner. We're confident we can sniff it out".

[Craig]

This

I bet somebodies day got a whole lot better

[nibbs]

severe burns to the anus, lol

[Craig]

Originally Posted by nibbs

severe burns to the anus, lol

That needed a after it tbh.

[Fiery]

Originally Posted by Craig

That needed a after it tbh.

Tell us about your burnt anus experience Craig?

[Craig]

Originally Posted by Fiery

Tell us about your burnt anus experience Craig?

Can't remember anything like that happening...