Cricket Player Manager
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 26

Thread: Cooking Disasters

  1. #1
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    9,652

    Cooking Disasters

    Was just telling James90 about how my dad is the most careless cook I know. Whenever he has to cook dinner, he just throws as many packets of fish as he can find into the oven and pours a packet of chips into a pile on top, meaning they don't cook properly!

    Just as an example, on the odd occasion I make fish and chips, I actually bother to preheat the oven, put the food in at different times so that they are synchronised and use the timer so I know when they are done; not just take them out when I bloody well feel like it.

    Alas, I digress - my dad is only the worst cook I know becaue my older brother never cooks. The last time he tried was when my parents went to church and told him to make sausages if he was hungry. He dead-set tried to boil them.

    My family is killing the art of cooking!

    Who are the worst cooks you know?
    'Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'farewell! Every happiness and prosperity! If, in the progress of revolving years, I could persuade myself that my blighted destiny had been a warning to you, I should feel that I had not occupied another man's place in existence altogether in vain.
    - Wilkins Micawber

  2. #2
    World Traveller Craig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Super Happy Fun Sugar Lollipop Land!
    Posts
    34,131
    Myself, because I know how to only cook rice and pasta.
    Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever...

    RIP Fardin Qayyumi, a true legend of CW

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobidy View Post
    Bradman never had to face quicks like Sharma and Irfan Pathan. He wouldn't of lasted a ball against those 2, not to mention a spinner like Sehwag.

  3. #3
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    9,652
    Come on, Craig... don't leave us hanging! You must have a story of a complete calamity in the kitchen!

  4. #4
    International Captain Sudeep's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    The Valley of the Sun
    Posts
    7,284
    Don't cook noodles while drinking a Pepsi. You never know, you might lose the grip of the can.
    "The optimum human population of earth is zero." - Dave Foreman


  5. #5
    World Traveller Craig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Super Happy Fun Sugar Lollipop Land!
    Posts
    34,131
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Casson
    Come on, Craig... don't leave us hanging! You must have a story of a complete calamity in the kitchen!
    Burnt myself while trying to cook chicken for the very first time, cooking pasta, but I didn't cook properly and had to eat it cold/chewy.

    Not good.

  6. #6
    Hall of Fame Member Smudge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Deep, deep south
    Posts
    16,695
    I decided to cook popcorn on the stove back when I was about 11.

    I put the corn into the saucepan and put the saucepan on the element before heading outside.

    45 minutes later, I came back inside after having kicked the rugby ball around, to find the kitchen full of smoke and the popcorn well and truly popped and a darker shade of charcoal.

  7. #7
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
    Pinball Champion!
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Devon, UK
    Posts
    29,565
    My mum is a top cook, but she has to make me eat so bloody much.. She knows I hate wasting food, and I sware she is out to make me clinically obese or something.. Not ideal tbh
    Quote Originally Posted by vic_orthdox View Post
    Don't like using my iPod dock. Ruins battery life too much.
    Quote Originally Posted by benchmark00 View Post
    Thanks Dick Smith. Will remember to subscribe to your newsletter for more electronic fun facts.

    ****.

  8. #8
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
    Target Champion! Stuarts Xtreme Skateboarding Champion!
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Derby, England
    Posts
    17,752
    I work abroad, and stay 'Bed and Breakfast' at a guest house in north Dublin. It's my third spell working over there and I stop at the same place every time. Consequently, I have the run of the place.

    Typically, my evening meal tends to be masses of salad vegetables and either fish or pasta - often something I can cook in the microwave. Don't want to waste that valuable drinking time.

    Well, about a month ago, I carefully popped some Tesco vegetable lasagne thing (or close relative) into the microwave and fired it up, then went to boil the kettle. It's one of those super-duper microwaves with a grill and whatnot, but hardly anyone ever uses that. I looked around and was horror-stricken to see flashes and flickers inside the door. I hurriedly switched it off but the flickering refused to die. A few seconds later I realised that the flickers were not electrical discharges but flames. It was on fire.

    A quick blast with the CO2 extinguisher through the barely-cracked-open door soon had it out, so I had a good look. Yup, someone had earlier either deliberately or accidentally popped the grill switch, and I hadn't checked. A closer inspection revealed that the 'roof' of the interior cavity was totally coated to a fair depth with grease and muck - and this had ignited.

    Luckily, there seemed to be no damage so I gave it a VERY good scrub out and tried it again, both with and without the grill. It worked perfectly.

    A few minutes later, the landlady came in and said "Don't use the microwave - there's a fault. It caught fire earlier today".
    Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

  9. #9
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    9,652
    Once I was working the canteen at my little brother's junior soccer match. Someone asked for a hot dog and I gave them a cold one rather than the cooked ones.

  10. #10
    Cricketer Of The Year James90's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    7,572
    Urgh...the recent camp. One part of it is the solo where you have to stay 24 hours out on the bush on your own. Well I got there did what I had to set up my fly and whatnot. But then it came to cooking dinner. At around 3 I collected some kindling and put it in a previously used firespot. I left it to sit and went into my sleeping bag to read "Inside Cricket". Well when I was doing that it started raining so the matches and the kindling got wet. Hence I couldn't light a fire. So what did I do? Used a whole deoderant can on the kindling and put a lot of toilet paper on the top. It kept burning out so I decided to put the billy with my macaroni in it on top of the burning out toilet paper. I kept doing this with more and more toilet paper. But I didn't realise that the rough side of the matchbox was getting ripped up because it was wet. I then put a huge pile of toilet paper on top of the firespot and went to light another match, but as I did it I ripped the entire side off the matchbox. So I ended up with a huge pile of toilet paper just sitting there which I buried. And that was the end of the fire experiment. Well the macaroni, I had heated it up just enough to soften it slightly. I ate it by sticking my fingers (dirty from collecting bark from burnt trees) into the billy and eating it out of my hand. So I ended up with a soft/crunchy/ashy pile of cold macaroni.

    Then on camp there was the hike when we were in a group of 5. On the second night the macaroni cooking was going quite well except the handle on the billy broke. We tried to smash it back in with a rock which disintergrated into 1000 pieces into the macaroni. The macaroni would have been good if it wasn't for the continuous crunching sound and taste of granite!
    Last edited by James90; 03-04-2005 at 05:00 AM.
    Stedders' Supported XI (in batting order)
    NJ Kruger, *SM Katich, LA Carseldine, MEK Hussey, Mohammad Ashraful, NT Broom, AA Noffke, +Mushfiqur Rahim, Mashrafe Mortaza, DE Bollinger, WAP Mendis.

    CricketWeb Black!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by NUFAN View Post
    I think Ponting forgot to take his Swiss Ulti-Vites when he was on 99 not out.
    RIP Fardin.

  11. #11
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
    Tournaments Won: 1
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Is this CricketWeb's greatest poster in the short history of the forum?
    Posts
    37,157
    Well one of my older brothers is a bone head, and he's done the stupidest things ever in a kitchen...

    1. My mum told him to make a cup of tea. He came back 10 minutes later looking distressed... "How do i make the tea brown like you do!?!?".... he didnt put a tea bag in....

    2. He set the toaster cord on fire (somehow)

    3. Different incident.... Set the Kettle on fire (somehow)


    Parmi | #1 draft pick | Jake King is **** | Big Bash League tipping champion of the universe
    Come and Paint Turtle
    Quote Originally Posted by Jono View Post
    Kohli. Do something in test cricket for once please.

    Thanks.

  12. #12
    Cricketer Of The Year Mr Casson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    9,652
    What's the go with the tea?

    Did he just expect it to magically turn into tea? Or did he just put milk and sugar in boiling water?

  13. #13
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
    Tournaments Won: 1
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Is this CricketWeb's greatest poster in the short history of the forum?
    Posts
    37,157
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Casson
    What's the go with the tea?

    Did he just expect it to magically turn into tea? Or did he just put milk and sugar in boiling water?
    haha yes.... he's a stooge

  14. #14
    State Vice-Captain nikhil1772's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Pune,India
    Posts
    1,443
    My advice...or rather my cousin's advice would be never to keep the tea and coffee jars besides each other...you never know what you are making and what you were supposed to!!
    Member Of AAAS


    Supporter of:
    Liverpool FC
    Ferrari F1
    Iron Maiden (Bombay.Feb 1st,2008...I was there)
    UP THE IRONS !!!

  15. #15
    Cricket Spectator v800's Avatar
    Monkey Jump Champion!
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    37
    I am a chef so i have seen some preety funny things like one person who I was training cut them self 4 times on different fingers

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •