Monty Python

Anna · 25-03-2005, 08:33 AM

Monty Python & The Holy Grail:
" I blow my nose at you, so called Arthur King, you and all your silly English kaniggets"

BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

Oh the greatness

http://www.rit.edu/~smo4215/monty.htm#Scene%208

sledger · 25-03-2005, 12:31 PM

great indeed

well done mr cleese and co, an all time comedy classic.

Samuel_Vimes · 25-03-2005, 12:58 PM

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.

lord_of_darkness · 25-03-2005, 03:54 PM

Monty Python is a classic !

sledger · 25-03-2005, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lord_of_darkness

Monty Python is a classic !

agreed, ooh my thats brought up my 500, what a coincidence

BoyBrumby · 26-03-2005, 02:16 AM

I'm a big fan of the "Bruces" sketch where an Englisman goes to teach in an Australian uni where, obviously, everyone is called Bruce.

Monty Python's Australian national anthem:

Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you. Amen!

The rules of the philosophy faculty:

Rule one - no pooftahs. Rule two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever - if there's anybody watching. Rule three - no pooftahs. Rule four - I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out. Rule five - no pooftahs. Rule six - there is no rule six! Rule seven - no pooftahs. That concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce.

Click here for the full sketch:

http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode22.htm

FaaipDeOiad · 26-03-2005, 02:26 AM

"This here's the wattle - the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle or you can hold it in your hand."

Hahahaha.

Langeveldt · 27-03-2005, 10:15 AM

Sorry to be the total killjoy, but I've never found MP even remotely amusing.. Just made me cringe through the whole lot of it.. Although I have been to where Life of Bryan was filmed, that was cool..

Okay, I'll leave before I am chucked out

Anna · 18-01-2006, 06:27 PM

Just thought I'd bring this up again as Dylan expressed an interest

Read the sig

Barney Rubble · 18-01-2006, 06:35 PM

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

It had to be said.

Also:

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Now **** off!
Worshipper: (pauses).....How shall we **** off, O Lord?

Genius.

andyc · 18-01-2006, 06:43 PM

Ahh... Monty Python...

Anna · 18-01-2006, 06:45 PM

Minister: Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work. (sits at desk) Now then, what was it again?

Mr Pudey: Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it.

Minister: I see. May I see your silly walk?

Mr Pudey: Yes, certainly, yes.

(He gets up and does a few steps, lifting the bottom part of his left leg sharply at every alternate pace. He stops.)

Minister: That's it, is it?

Mr Pudey: Yes, that's it, yes.

Minister: lt's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn't silly at all and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.

Mr Pudey: Yes, but I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly.

Monty Python Sketches

_Ed_ · 18-01-2006, 06:45 PM

Expedition Leader: We're going to climb the two peaks of Mt Kilimanjaro
Climber: But...there's only one peak, sir.
(Expedition Leader covers one eye and looks at map)
Expedition Leader: So there is. Anyway, we're going to see if we can find any trace of last year's expedition.
Climber: Last year's expedition?
Expedition Leader: Yes, it was led by my brother. They were going to build a bridge between the two peaks...(covers one eye and looks at map again).

DJellett · 18-01-2006, 07:05 PM

"WEWEASE WODGER"
"Yeah, wewease wodger"
"HE'S A WOBBER!" "hahahahah yeah good one"
"AND A WAPIST!" "hahahahah like it, like it"
"AND A PICKPOCKET" "shut up"

luckyeddie · 18-01-2006, 07:05 PM

Some may be a bit wrong because I will NEVER copy and paste Python.... See if you can guess the sketch (or bit of film) each quote is from (difficulty - no Google)

My hovercraft is full of eels.

A shrubbery!

That's just the kind of blinkered Philistine pig-ignorance we come to expect from you non-creative garbage.....

Crunchy Frog

I've got a hat - with "Lion Tamer" written across it in big letters that light up so you can tame them in the dark when they're less stroppy...

Everest - forbidding, aloof, terrifying - the mountain with the biggest t-ts in the world.

YETANOTHER Pratt, Not out but dreadfully hurt 139

Well speaking personally, I'd annex the Sudetenland..

Right. On with the pixie hats and order in the skating vicar...

All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the other end....

Well, there's not much call for it round here, sir...

Caribou..... GOOOOORRRNNNN !!!

Oh, yes.. Khaki, kind, kettle, Kipling, Kuwait, Kings Bollege Bambridge (or Keeble Bollege Oxford)

Blimey! This redistribution of wealth is more difficult than I thought...

DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BRANE HURTS!!!!!!!

TIE HER...... (oh dear!) TO THE RACK!!!

Where are we gouing to get 44 tons of plankton every morning?

Did I call you 'Eddie Baby'?

I'm going to dig a pit for Scott and put a box in Vanilla's trench...

You've got a pet halibut?

Wainscotting!!

A little fermented curd will do the trick.

Yes, the mollusc is a randy little fellow whose primitive brain scarcely strays from the subject of you-know-what...

This year, our members have put more things on top of other things than ever before...

Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father... Hairy blighter dickie-birdied...

CLINK! BEND! SCREW! INFLATE! ALTER SADDLE!

25-03-2005, 08:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
Anna International Vice-Captain Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: England Posts: 4,025	Monty Python Monty Python & The Holy Grail: " I blow my nose at you, so called Arthur King, you and all your silly English kaniggets" BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'" Oh the greatness http://www.rit.edu/~smo4215/monty.htm#Scene%208 __________________ COME ON YOU BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "One day lad, all this will be yours" "What, the curtains?"

25-03-2005, 03:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
lord_of_darkness Cricket Web XI Moderator Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Auckland , New Zealand Posts: 13,252	Monty Python is a classic ! __________________ Don L-o-d , Legion Of Doom Lords Lounge, Off Topic, The Happening Place in CW and OT. Co Chairman CWBCC - Cricketweb XI - CW Green \| Manager of Hampshire CC - Wccc \| Chairman of the Muralitharan Supporters Club ~MSC~ \| Current Stats: 2* - 17-4-35-3 - Season Ends.. Current Record Batting - RHB: M:48 Inns:43 Runs:457 H/S:33* Ave:15.5 N.O:10 Bowling - Off Spin: O:280 M:40 Runs:975 Wickets:104 Ave:9.3 S.R:15.6

26-03-2005, 02:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
BoyBrumby Englishman Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Doing the stance Posts: 42,597	I'm a big fan of the "Bruces" sketch where an Englisman goes to teach in an Australian uni where, obviously, everyone is called Bruce. Monty Python's Australian national anthem: *Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you. Amen!* The rules of the philosophy faculty: Rule one - no pooftahs. Rule two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever - if there's anybody watching. Rule three - no pooftahs. Rule four - I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out. Rule five - no pooftahs. Rule six - there is no rule six! Rule seven - no pooftahs. That concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce. Click here for the full sketch: http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode22.htm __________________ *- As featured in The Independent.* "This is not the time for namby-pamby promising youngsters who might just do something; not the time for building for the future. Pragmatism rules and they don't come more pragmatic than Rogers." - Victor Marks makes the case for stiff-legged and stiff-armed 35 year old left-handers in Ashes squads

26-03-2005, 02:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
FaaipDeOiad Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 18,682	"This here's the wattle - the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle or you can hold it in your hand." Hahahaha. __________________ I know a place where a royal flush Can never beat a pair

18-01-2006, 07:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
luckyeddie Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Derby, England Posts: 17,617	Some may be a bit wrong because I will NEVER copy and paste Python.... See if you can guess the sketch (or bit of film) each quote is from (difficulty - no Google) My hovercraft is full of eels. A shrubbery! That's just the kind of blinkered Philistine pig-ignorance we come to expect from you non-creative garbage..... Crunchy Frog I've got a hat - with "Lion Tamer" written across it in big letters that light up so you can tame them in the dark when they're less stroppy... Everest - forbidding, aloof, terrifying - the mountain with the biggest t-ts in the world. YETANOTHER Pratt, Not out but dreadfully hurt 139 Well speaking personally, I'd annex the Sudetenland.. Right. On with the pixie hats and order in the skating vicar... All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the other end.... Well, there's not much call for it round here, sir... Caribou..... GOOOOORRRNNNN !!! Oh, yes.. Khaki, kind, kettle, Kipling, Kuwait, Kings Bollege Bambridge (or Keeble Bollege Oxford) Blimey! This redistribution of wealth is more difficult than I thought... DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BRANE HURTS!!!!!!! TIE HER...... (oh dear!) TO THE RACK!!! Where are we gouing to get 44 tons of plankton every morning? Did I call you 'Eddie Baby'? I'm going to dig a pit for Scott and put a box in Vanilla's trench... You've got a pet halibut? Wainscotting!! A little fermented curd will do the trick. Yes, the mollusc is a randy little fellow whose primitive brain scarcely strays from the subject of you-know-what... This year, our members have put more things on top of other things than ever before... Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father... Hairy blighter dickie-birdied... CLINK! BEND! SCREW! INFLATE! ALTER SADDLE! __________________ Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

25-03-2005, 12:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
sledger Spanish_Vicente Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: cricsim, lol Posts: 28,021	great indeed well done mr cleese and co, an all time comedy classic.

18-01-2006, 06:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
Anna International Vice-Captain Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: England Posts: 4,025	Just thought I'd bring this up again as Dylan expressed an interest Read the sig

18-01-2006, 06:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
Barney Rubble International Coach Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: All over the shop Posts: 10,191	He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! It had to be said. Also: Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Now ** off! Worshipper: (pauses).....How shall we ** off, O Lord? Genius.

18-01-2006, 06:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
Anna International Vice-Captain Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: England Posts: 4,025	Minister: Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work. (sits at desk) Now then, what was it again? Mr Pudey: Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it. Minister: I see. May I see your silly walk? Mr Pudey: Yes, certainly, yes. (He gets up and does a few steps, lifting the bottom part of his left leg sharply at every alternate pace. He stops.) Minister: That's it, is it? Mr Pudey: Yes, that's it, yes. Minister: lt's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn't silly at all and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step. Mr Pudey: Yes, but I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly. Monty Python Sketches

18-01-2006, 06:45 PM	#13 (permalink)
_Ed_ Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Auckland, Aotearoa Posts: 19,095	Expedition Leader: We're going to climb the two peaks of Mt Kilimanjaro Climber: But...there's only one peak, sir. (Expedition Leader covers one eye and looks at map) Expedition Leader: So there is. Anyway, we're going to see if we can find any trace of last year's expedition. Climber: Last year's expedition? Expedition Leader: Yes, it was led by my brother. They were going to build a bridge between the two peaks...(covers one eye and looks at map again).

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