17-03-2005, 06:10 AM
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#1 (permalink) | |
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Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 24,236
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Joke of the Day
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to Thaw out during one
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the Very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to Coordinate their travel schedules. So the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer In his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realising his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages of condolence from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: 16 January 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have Computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. It sure is hot down here!
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Cricketweb Colts Captain Quote:
I'm Green The color of immortality, nature and envy - you are truly a unique person. While clearly the color of nature, you also symbolize rebirth, fertility and hope in the world. On the other side of the spectrum, a natural aptitude to money with green coming to signify money and possibly even *********!
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17-03-2005, 06:24 AM
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#2 (permalink) |
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International Captain
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: alanis morrissette
Posts: 6,177
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LAME SCIENCE JOKE
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, The first one says "i've lost one of my electrons" and the other one says, "Are you sure"? The first one replies "Yes, Im positive". 
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penis Dream XI: M Hyder, J Linker, M Clock, S Wetsin, A Simms, A Golcrhist, B Hugg, S Worde, B Leap, J Giuseppe, G MacGrith |
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17-03-2005, 07:05 AM
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Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Canberra
Posts: 23,218
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Quote:
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17-03-2005, 08:04 AM
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Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oslo
Posts: 22,253
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Quote:
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Messi scores on the rebound. Founder of ESAS - Edgar Schiferli, the best associate bowler A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud Member of JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS Quote:
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17-03-2005, 09:35 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Hall of Fame Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Leicestershire, UK
Posts: 15,065
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I saw Van Gogh in a bar so I walked up to him and said
"Hey mate, do you wanna pint?" And he replied "No thanks I've got one 'ere
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Or something. RIP Fardin Qayyumi (AKA "cricket player"; "Bob"), 1/11/1990 - 15/4/2006 |
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17-03-2005, 10:44 AM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Englishman
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Doing the stance
Posts: 42,581
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Mildly homophobic this gag, & for that I apologise in advance:
How do you seperate the men from the boys in a gay pub? A) With a crowbar! 
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- As featured in The Independent. "This is not the time for namby-pamby promising youngsters who might just do something; not the time for building for the future. Pragmatism rules and they don't come more pragmatic than Rogers." - Victor Marks makes the case for stiff-legged and stiff-armed 35 year old left-handers in Ashes squads |
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17-03-2005, 11:42 AM
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#10 (permalink) | |
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International Vice-Captain
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Jon's house
Posts: 4,152
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Quote:
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17-03-2005, 02:06 PM
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#11 (permalink) | |
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Hall of Fame Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Wellywood
Posts: 16,551
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Quote:
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17-03-2005, 02:20 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Hall of Fame Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Inflection Points - 2
Posts: 18,288
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One night a beautiful female rushed into a crypt, her lovely face all covered in blood and flung herself into her coffin and slammed down the lid with a snarl of rage.
Pretty soon all the other vampires smelt the blood and began hassling her about where she'd got it. She told them to **** off and let her get some sleep, but they persisted until she finally gave in. "OK, follow me," she said, and spreading out her cloak, flew out of the crypt with dozen other vampires behind her. Down through a valley they swept, across a river and into a huge city. Finally she slowed down and the other vampires milled excitedly around her, their tongues hanging out for blood. "Do you see that massive, great lamp post over there?" she asked. "YES, YES,YES!!!!" the bloodsuckers all screamed in a feeding frenzy. "Good!" said the first vampire, "Because I f***ing-well didn't!"
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Dave Mohammed >>>> You ▲ |
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17-03-2005, 02:27 PM
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#14 (permalink) | |
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Englishman
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Doing the stance
Posts: 42,581
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Quote:
Involves a pun on his youngest son's name if it's the same gag! 
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