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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Mister Wright's Avatar
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    Joke of the Day

    A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to Thaw out during one
    particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the Very same hotel where
    they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules,
    it was difficult to Coordinate their travel schedules. So the husband left
    Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the
    following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer In
    his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he
    accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without
    realising his error, he sent the e-mail.

    Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
    husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to
    glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
    e-mail, expecting messages of condolence from relatives and friends. After
    reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the
    room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which
    read:


    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    Date: 16 January 2004

    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have Computers here now and
    you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and
    have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
    arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
    Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

    P.S. It sure is hot down here!
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    The color of immortality, nature and envy - you are truly a unique person. While clearly the color of nature, you also symbolize rebirth, fertility and hope in the world. On the other side of the spectrum, a natural aptitude to money with green coming to signify money and possibly even *********!

  2. #2
    International Captain Hoggy31's Avatar
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    LAME SCIENCE JOKE

    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, The first one says "i've lost one of my electrons" and the other one says, "Are you sure"? The first one replies "Yes, Im positive".
    penis

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  3. #3
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Mister Wright's Avatar
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    LOL.

    Here's one, Australians might be the only ones who get this.

    What did the Toothbrush say to the toothpaste?

    You can't AIM properly.

  4. #4
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoggy31
    LAME SCIENCE JOKE

    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, The first one says "i've lost one of my electrons" and the other one says, "Are you sure"? The first one replies "Yes, Im positive".
    ah yes. the science teachers favourite. guaranteed to prompt a sympathy laugh/groan from the class


  5. #5
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andyc
    ah yes. the science teachers favourite. guaranteed to prompt a sympathy laugh/groan from the class
    We have a chemistry video (from Australia, incidentally) that's absolutely full of those kinds of jokes...
    Messi scores on the rebound.

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  6. #6
    Hall of Fame Member Jamee999's Avatar
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    I saw Van Gogh in a bar so I walked up to him and said
    "Hey mate, do you wanna pint?"
    And he replied
    "No thanks I've got one 'ere
    Or something.

    RIP Fardin Qayyumi (AKA "cricket player"; "Bob"), 1/11/1990 - 15/4/2006

  7. #7
    School Boy/Girl Captain savill's Avatar
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    I got sent through the 1st one by e-mail...

  8. #8
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Mildly homophobic this gag, & for that I apologise in advance:

    How do you seperate the men from the boys in a gay pub?













    A) With a crowbar!
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  9. #9
    International Vice-Captain SupaFreak2005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by savill
    I got sent through the 1st one by e-mail...
    Ya me too.. its really old and lame.. the hydrogen atoms one is really funny though.

  10. #10
    International Vice-Captain SupaFreak2005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby
    Mildly homophobic this gag, & for that I apologise in advance:

    How do you seperate the men from the boys in a gay pub?

    A) With a crowbar!
    Thats so wrong.

  11. #11
    Hall of Fame Member Smudge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby
    Mildly homophobic this gag, & for that I apologise in advance:

    How do you seperate the men from the boys in a gay pub?













    A) With a crowbar!
    Best joke in this thread so far - although I guess you all aren't surprised this one was my favourite...

  12. #12
    Hall of Fame Member superkingdave's Avatar
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    One night a beautiful female rushed into a crypt, her lovely face all covered in blood and flung herself into her coffin and slammed down the lid with a snarl of rage.

    Pretty soon all the other vampires smelt the blood and began hassling her about where she'd got it. She told them to **** off and let her get some sleep, but they persisted until she finally gave in.

    "OK, follow me," she said, and spreading out her cloak, flew out of the crypt with dozen other vampires behind her.

    Down through a valley they swept, across a river and into a huge city. Finally she slowed down and the other vampires milled excitedly around her, their tongues hanging out for blood.

    "Do you see that massive, great lamp post over there?" she asked.

    "YES, YES,YES!!!!" the bloodsuckers all screamed in a feeding frenzy.

    "Good!" said the first vampire, "Because I f***ing-well didn't!"
    Dave Mohammed >>>> You

  13. #13
    Hall of Fame Member superkingdave's Avatar
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    the best one i heard recently was about Michael Jackson and David Beckham's yacht, but its not really fit for here

  14. #14
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superkingdave
    the best one i heard recently was about Michael Jackson and David Beckham's yacht, but its not really fit for here
    Yeah, think I heard that one too.

    Involves a pun on his youngest son's name if it's the same gag!

  15. #15
    Hall of Fame Member superkingdave's Avatar
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    yeah haha did you see the "never copped a feel" song?

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