Corporate lessons - Quite Original

[Mister Wright]

>Corporate Lesson 1:
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower, when the doorbell rings.
>The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she
>opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says
>a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
>
>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
>in
>front of Bob.
>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
>When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
>"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>credit
>and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
>prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>
>
>Corporate Lesson 2:
>A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
>She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
>priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily
>slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>The priest removed his hand.
>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
>Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
>On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
>It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
>miss a great opportunity.
>
>
>
>Corporate Lesson 3:
>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>lunch
>when they find an antique oil lamp.
>They rub it and a Genie comes out.
>The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
>"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the
>world." Poof! She's gone.
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing
>on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
>and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>
>
>Corporate Lesson 4:
>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
>A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
>long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
>ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate
>it.
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
>sitting
>very high up.
>
>
>
>Corporate Lesson 5:
>A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the
>turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
>packed with nutrients."
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
>the tree.
>Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
>
>Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't
>keep
>you there.

[kof98]

I have heard 2 and 4 already, but a good lesson I would say

[Buddhmaster]

Originally Posted by Mister Wright

>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
>sitting
>very high up.

Lmao. Those were very good, great post. But I could be the only one that hasn't heard them.

[Waughney]

lol

[age_master]

great stuff

[Mr Casson]

Finally, something that is original!!! Good work Kyle!

[Jono]

LOL! Those were awesome.

Great stuff.

[andyc]

Originally Posted by Mr Casson

Finally, something that is original!!! Good work Kyle!

unlike those blatantly plagiarised guides of yours, casson.
hey by the way, what's with the sig?

[Mr Casson]

I'm banking on someone else explaining it...

[benchmark00]

Originally Posted by andyc

unlike those blatantly plagiarised guides of yours, casson.
hey by the way, what's with the sig?

Don't question it, just agree!