The Pommie Euphemism Dictionary

[Mr Casson]

The English language is home to many intricate and esoteric euphemisms over in the motherland. Unfortunately for those of us in developed penal colonies or just generally on the outer, the effects of these terrific supplements to our language are lost, and I feel we are missing out. From 'crumpet' to 'chav', and the more widely understood 'bird', I think it's time that our friends over in the UK (would I be wrong in assuming these words are more prevalent in the north?) unveiled the meanings behind these little words. This will become the dictionary, so any word you Poms can think of that we might not know, put it in here! Please!!

I think I'm targeting people like BoyBrumby and Langeveldt here...

[superkingdave]

Ill start with Chav

chav (noun)- 1. Anyone wearing any kind of burberry clothing 2. A youth usually, although not neccessarily in his or her teens who has an undying belief that they are the hardest and coolest individual to have ever walked this planet. The male chav is distinguishable by his birght colours and imitaion gold jewellry which he uses to attract chavettes (see next). Any eye contact will be met with a tirade of abuse assuming the chav is with his herd. 3. Chavette: A female chav who is distinguishable by the use of earings resting on her shoulders, very innapropriate clothing, and a pram. Chavettes are very rarely seen on their own and prefer to hang around with the dominant chav in their herd, usually the father of their child. 4. Chavish: the dialect of the chav. Believing that he is a bad boy gangsta rapper, the chav or chavette will converse with others in a secrect language. Scientists have been working for years on trying to decipher chavish but to no avail. Other than swear words that you will manage to pick out, you will not understand any of this tirade; simply assume its not pleasant and probably involves your parents and a dog.

[Fiery]

For a greater appreciation of the term "chav" visit http://www.chavscum.co.uk/
Funny stuff

[Mr Casson]

And a pram!! Gold

[BoyBrumby]

I'm trying to think of arcane Fen and/or English slang I've used that may be confusing to non-UK (& maybe non-Fen) readers. Ones I can think of:

Septic: American. Rhyming slang for "septic tank" (yank)
Ginger: Gay or homosexual. Again rhyming slang, "ginger beer", er, queer. Not too PC that one, I'm afraid!
Crim: Our beloved Australian brethren. From the British practice of transporting criminals to the antipodes.
Shipman: Someone who is attracted to older women (Hi Voltman! ). Derived from notorious Dr Harold Shipman who killed over 200 elderly women. A "Shipman" therefore "F***s old ladies"!
Sleep inducer: Male masturbation. From blokes allegedly falling asleep after shooting their load.
Choice: Horrible, bad or foul. Ironic usage, as in just about the last thing you'd choose.

If anyone can think of any more I've used I'll be happy to further broaden your education!

[twctopcat]

Originally Posted by BoyBrumby

I'm trying to think of arcane Fen and/or English slang I've used that may be confusing to non-UK (& maybe non-Fen) readers. Ones I can think of:

Septic: American. Rhyming slang for "septic tank" (yank)
Ginger: Gay or homosexual. Again rhyming slang, "ginger beer", er, queer. Not too PC that one, I'm afraid!
Crim: Our beloved Australian brethren. From the British practice of transporting criminals to the antipodes.
Shipman: Someone who is attracted to older women (Hi Voltman! ). Derived from notorious Dr Harold Shipman who killed over 200 elderly women. A "Shipman" therefore "F***s old ladies"!
Sleep inducer: Male masturbation. From blokes allegedly falling asleep after shooting their load.
Choice: Horrible, bad or foul. Ironic usage, as in just about the last thing you'd choose.

If anyone can think of any more I've used I'll be happy to further broaden your education!

Are you thinking cockney rhyming slang? If so there is absolutely loads me ol' china.

[BoyBrumby]

Originally Posted by twctopcat

Are you thinking cockney rhyming slang? If so there is absolutely loads me ol' china.

Come on up the apples an' pears & get around the ol' joanna before the trouble gets in a right ol' two an' eight an' I have ter put her on her aris!

[membersstand]

I was wondering how long it would take until the thread became an exercise in rhyming slang

[BoyBrumby]

Originally Posted by membersstand

I was wondering how long it would take until the thread became an exercise in rhyming slang

A lot of Oz slang has caught on over here too (I blame Neighbours & Home and Away!); "Chunder", "Uni", "Avo" & "Shaking hands with the unemployed" are in fairly common usage now.

[membersstand]

And we've adopted cheers off the Bill..

[twctopcat]

Originally Posted by membersstand

I was wondering how long it would take until the thread became an exercise in rhyming slang

Makes a bloody convincing argument!!! Check this out.

[Jono]

The term '********' is one of the funniest and greatest ever spoken.

Edit: Wow I didn't realise it was censored. My apologies.

[Langeveldt]

Chav is basically a poor individual from the UK, the majority of whom live a fairly basic life off the government's coffers, live in a home provided by the authorities, many of whom have little intention of getting a job because they have a lack of qualifications, stemming from not listening in school.. They are generally abusive towards others with a very distinct yet foul mouthed vocabulary.. They spit everywhere and wear distinctive clothes, usually tracksuit bottoms and football shirts and have skinhead haircuts..

At a realistic estimate, I would say it covers about 25% of the UK population by now... There is nothing funny about the epidemic, because it is so chronic it is no longer a joke...


Crumpet, Bird = Agreeable specimen of the female type

[BoyBrumby]

Originally Posted by Jono

The term '********' is one of the funniest and greatest ever spoken.

Edit: Wow I didn't realise it was censored. My apologies.

Give us a clue then! Did it start with an "f" a "w" or a "c"?!?

[twctopcat]

Originally Posted by Langeveldt

Chav is basically a poor individual from the UK, the majority of whom live a fairly basic life off the government's coffers, live in a home provided by the authorities, many of whom have little intention of getting a job because they have a lack of qualifications, stemming from not listening in school.. They are generally abusive towards others with a very distinct yet foul mouthed vocabulary.. They spit everywhere and wear distinctive clothes, usually tracksuit bottoms and football shirts and have skinhead haircuts..

At a realistic estimate, I would say it covers about 25% of the UK population by now... There is nothing funny about the epidemic, because it is so chronic it is no longer a joke...


Crumpet, Bird = Agreeable specimen of the female type

Stop making sweeps langers! I know plenty of people who can fit into this group going by haircuts and dress sense and they are very likeable and decent people. Attitudes like these aren't very beneficial and a result in superiority complexes.