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Thread: Worst Joke You Ever Heard/Unleashed upon This Sorry World

  1. #16
    International Coach GotSpin's Avatar
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    I found that funny for some stupid reason
    Mark Waugh
    "He's [Michael Clarke] on Twitter saying sorry for not walking? Mate if he did that in our side there'd be hell to play. AB would chuck his Twitter box off the balcony or whatever it is. Sorry for not walking? Jesus Christ man."
    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it into a fruit salad
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  2. #17
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    A man walked into a bar..

    Ouch!
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    Don't like using my iPod dock. Ruins battery life too much.
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    Thanks Dick Smith. Will remember to subscribe to your newsletter for more electronic fun facts.

    ****.

  3. #18
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    A man walks into the pub with a giraffe. He says to the barman,

    "Pint of lager for me & a packet of peanuts for the giraffe."

    The barman returns with the lager & the peanuts. The man opens the peanuts for the giraffe & drinks his lager. When he's halfway thru the giraffe gets a peanut stuck in his throat, chokes & falls over dead.

    The man calmly finishes his drink & starts to walk to the door. The barman calls after him,

    "Oi mate, you can't leave that lyin' there." The man replies,

    "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

    I know & I'm really, really sorry.
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  4. #19
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    This is best when said with a midlands accent..

    Whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

    You can't wash your hands in a buffalo..


  5. #20
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Langeveldt
    This is best when said with a midlands accent..

    Whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

    You can't wash your hands in a buffalo..
    Kwality. That's a good bad gag!

    Reminds me of the old Stan Collymore joke:

    Stan turns up for training wearing a huge twelve-inch wide tie. The coach asks him,

    "Kipper tie, Stan?", Stan replies,

    "Ta very much, milk & two sugars please!"

  6. #21
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby
    Kwality. That's a good bad gag!

    Reminds me of the old Stan Collymore joke:

    Stan turns up for training wearing a huge twelve-inch wide tie. The coach asks him,

    "Kipper tie, Stan?", Stan replies,

    "Ta very much, milk & two sugars please!"
    Would you like it in the car park Stan

  7. #22
    Eyes not spreadsheets marc71178's Avatar
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    19 years ago I was playing with a chemistry set and some DNA from a moronic troll my Dad had run over and I created a humanoid.

    Sorry people!
    marc71178 - President and founding member of AAAS - we don't only appreciate when he does well, but also when he's not quite so good!

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  8. #23
    Hall of Fame Member Jamee999's Avatar
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    One idiot said to the other "What would you do if a bird **** on your head?
    And the reply? "I woudn't go out with her again"
    Or something.

    RIP Fardin Qayyumi (AKA "cricket player"; "Bob"), 1/11/1990 - 15/4/2006

  9. #24
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamee999
    One idiot said to the other "What would you do if a bird **** on your head?
    And the reply? "I woudn't go out with her again"
    That's funny! One for the pub one friday!

  10. #25
    Eyes not spreadsheets marc71178's Avatar
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    Afraid mine is a bit specific to this website, so telling it down the pub wouldn't work.

  11. #26
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc71178
    Afraid mine is a bit specific to this website, so telling it down the pub wouldn't work.
    Ah. Now I get it! How old is Richard!??!

  12. #27
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

    Pregnant!

  13. #28
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    This has a rude word, which I'm asterisking out & I apologise for in advance, but can't resist:

    Why is Aussie beer like making love in a canoe?

    They're both f***ing close to water!!!!

  14. #29
    International Vice-Captain SupaFreak2005's Avatar
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    Q: How do you put an elephant into the fridge?
    A: Open the fridge and put it in.

    Q: How would you put a giraffe in the fridge?
    A: Take out the open the door take out the elephant and put it in.

    Q: If all the animals in the jungle had a meeting which one wouldnt be there?
    A: The giraffe... Hes in the fridge!

    and for that I truly am sorry.

  15. #30
    International Vice-Captain SupaFreak2005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voltman
    What's white, and if it fell out of a tree, would kill you?

    A fridge.

    What's red and invisible?
    No tomatoes.

    OK, I'll stop now.
    Those are funny

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