nightprowler10
Global Moderator
Not to victimize anyone, but I do wonder what the reaction would have been like had a Pakistani done this.
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Trescothick in cheating revelation!
- Thread starter SpaceMonkey
- Start date
dontcloseyoureyes
BARNES OUT
He'd get banned for two years then play the next test.
nightprowler10
Global Moderator
Yeah, thanks to you ****s.
dontcloseyoureyes
BARNES OUT
This isn't New Zealand we're talking about.That's because their Tests are usually two years apart though
BoyBrumby
Englishman
& just who do you think gave Tres the Murray mints?!
Seriously tho, I think we have a more mature attitude to our sportsmen's "cheating" as a nation than Pakistan does. Representatives of every country have been guilty of sharp practice at some point or other, but it isn't regarded as a slight on our national pride if Englishmen are wrongly accused.
It's been an open secret that Tres had applied sugary saliva to the ball (you know, one of those "secrets" that everyone knows but don't state openly for fear of being sued) & now it's out in the open I imagine most English cricket fans' reaction is the same as mine, a "good on yer" to Tres.
nightprowler10
Global Moderator
Valid point in the second paragraph, but I was hinting more towards the media, English media to be specific.
Prince EWS
Global Moderator
He probably just passed it off as old news.
SpaceMonkey
International Debutant
Trescothicks agent would have him in a new Murray mints commercial if he was any cop! as for the English media, as far as they are concerned its OK to cheat if its against Australia 
dontcloseyoureyes
BARNES OUT
You're ****ing scum.
Burgey
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Actually, Jones' was really a resounding denial - "Well, they'd do it too, wouldn't they?" I think was the quote.
Well, I've seen it now, and the horrible, malevolent truth is now in the open.
My suspicions have been confirmed, and I expect wholesale apologies form the likes of Dickinson who lampooned me for suggesting this was all true. Mind you, I expect hell to freeze over soon too.
Hand back the Ashes from 05 - the only fair punishment for this treachery. Hand back the MBEs and OBEs - acquired by nefarious means that they were. Make the open-top double decker bus go backwards from Trafalgar Square down The Strand, while ex-pat Aussies throw bags of mints and cakes of soap at these cheating so-and-sos, all the while reminding them that the only way they've gotten close in 20 years was the use of illegal sweets.
Then come the law suits. I, for one, plan on leading a class action against the ECB, Vaughan, Flintoff, Trescothick and S Jones for damages for sleep deprivation and depression suffered as a result of the sudden loss of what was rightly ours. All those sleepless nights wondering how a side which struggled for nigh on two decades to get the ball to the other end of the pitch suddenly made the bloody ball talk Swahili as it went past the bemused bastmen. I expect to recover millions.
Not as much as Damien Martyn and Simon Katich though, whose careers were cut short as a result of falling to this outrageous connivance, and therefore lost so much dough from their contracts and endorsements that it wasn't funny.
Given the level of treachery and the heinous nature of the crimes involved, the only appropriate venue for these trials is either The Hague or Nuremburg.
On the positive note for England though, given the reliance on confectionary, they ought to appoint Willie Wonka the new captain, with the CEO of Cadbury-Schweppes as VC.
It goes far deeper than just cricket though.
If you check the footage from the Olympics, in every event where an Englishman or woman finished ahead of an Australian, they were seen sucking mints. Yes, that's right!!! All those cyclists sucking on mints, then spitting on the chains of their bikes to continue England's latest sporting program - Enhanced Performance Optimisation, or "EPO" as it has become known in the wider community.
This is just the beginning, I tell you.
Investigations into the use of sticky gum during the Rugby WC of 2003 are just getting underway, with early results confirming the sudden ability of English players to hang on to the ball was as a result of applying illegal gum to their hands just before kick off.
A similar examination of archival footage reveals Geoff Hurst imbibed of an obscene amount of boiled sweets before the final of the 1966 WC v West Germany.
Before long each of these sporting successes will be rightfully expunged from England's sporting history. It's no more than they deserve.
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Top_Cat
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In all seriousness, though, where's the proof the sweets made any difference at all? There's no consensus on how a ball swings at all, let alone with any artificial enhancement. The English team sure might have thought what they were doing made the ball swing more but no-one knows for sure whether it made any real difference. Not to mention it was the ball reversing that did the damage against Katich and co which this tactic, prima facie, had no bearing on.
Truth is, the bowlers were on song and would have bowled well regardless of the swing. I highly doubt this effect, even if true, substantially altered a result which was only headed one way anyway. But hey, don't let the truth get in the way of selling a few more books......
Truth is, the bowlers were on song and would have bowled well regardless of the swing. I highly doubt this effect, even if true, substantially altered a result which was only headed one way anyway. But hey, don't let the truth get in the way of selling a few more books......