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Phlegm's Half Arsed NZ Story Volume II
- Thread starter Flem274*
- Start date
Flem274*
123/5
I AM the mucus plug!
Flem274*
123/5
Englefield was ****.
And get some original material. You don't hold a candle to Lake and Steph.
Flem274*
123/5
Australia in New Zealand
New Zealand vs Australia-1st Test Match
New Zealand 544/8 dec.
Peter Howell 179
Jacob Oram 138
Peter Fulton 80
Jesse Ryder 54
Nathan Bracken 5/90
Paul Rofe 2/136
Australia 310
Mathew Hayden 92
Michael Hussey 61
Jacob Oram 4/55
Shane Bond 3/46
Australia 497/4 dec.
Ricky Ponting 218
Mathew Hayden 131
Michael Hussey 76
Daniel Vettori 2/133
James Franklin 1/78
New Zealand 155/5
Jesse Ryder 35
Brendon McCullum 31*
Nathan Bracken 1/26
Paul Rofe 1/26
Match Drawn
Great debut from Howell, and things were going great until Australia pulled that second innings out of the bag. ****s.
New Zealand vs Australia-1st Test Match
New Zealand 544/8 dec.
Peter Howell 179
Jacob Oram 138
Peter Fulton 80
Jesse Ryder 54
Nathan Bracken 5/90
Paul Rofe 2/136
Australia 310
Mathew Hayden 92
Michael Hussey 61
Jacob Oram 4/55
Shane Bond 3/46
Australia 497/4 dec.
Ricky Ponting 218
Mathew Hayden 131
Michael Hussey 76
Daniel Vettori 2/133
James Franklin 1/78
New Zealand 155/5
Jesse Ryder 35
Brendon McCullum 31*
Nathan Bracken 1/26
Paul Rofe 1/26
Match Drawn
Great debut from Howell, and things were going great until Australia pulled that second innings out of the bag. ****s.
Flem274*
123/5
Australia in New Zealand: 2nd Test Match
New Zealand 457/8 dec.
Peter Howell 109
Mathew Sinclair 88
Jacob Oram 85
Brendon McCullum 64
Brett Lee 5/79
Nathan Bracken 1/70
Howell with two centuries in two tests! WAFG.
Australia 368
Ricky Ponting 111
Phil Jaques 76
Adam Gilchrist 61
Gareth Shaw 5/94
Shane Bond 2/59
Great stuff from Shaw. Bit expensive but he got some big wickets to get us back in the hunt.
New Zealand 325/4 dec.
Shane Bond 158*
Jesse Ryder 51*
Michael Clarke 1/6
Nathan Bracken 1/28
Bond!
WAG! The nightwatchman leads the batting display.
Australia 328/6
Michael Clarke 127
Phil Jaques 125
Gareth Shaw 5/94
Shane Bond 2/59
Match Drawn
ARGGH sooo close. Gareth Shaw was a champ on debut. Got smacked around in his first spell in the second dig but came back and removed Clarke and Jaques pronto before snaring Gilchrist for a two ball duck. Barring the two big innings and Langer's match saving 34* at number six with the tail, the rest of the scores were 7 (9), 13 (30), 0 (1), 0 (2), and 9* (36). Lee was dropped with three overs to go by Ryder at first slip as well. So close to running through them after getting them 3/38.
New Zealand 457/8 dec.
Peter Howell 109
Mathew Sinclair 88
Jacob Oram 85
Brendon McCullum 64
Brett Lee 5/79
Nathan Bracken 1/70
Howell with two centuries in two tests! WAFG.
Australia 368
Ricky Ponting 111
Phil Jaques 76
Adam Gilchrist 61
Gareth Shaw 5/94
Shane Bond 2/59
Great stuff from Shaw. Bit expensive but he got some big wickets to get us back in the hunt.
New Zealand 325/4 dec.
Shane Bond 158*
Jesse Ryder 51*
Michael Clarke 1/6
Nathan Bracken 1/28
Bond!
WAG! The nightwatchman leads the batting display.Australia 328/6
Michael Clarke 127
Phil Jaques 125
Gareth Shaw 5/94
Shane Bond 2/59
Match Drawn
ARGGH sooo close. Gareth Shaw was a champ on debut. Got smacked around in his first spell in the second dig but came back and removed Clarke and Jaques pronto before snaring Gilchrist for a two ball duck. Barring the two big innings and Langer's match saving 34* at number six with the tail, the rest of the scores were 7 (9), 13 (30), 0 (1), 0 (2), and 9* (36). Lee was dropped with three overs to go by Ryder at first slip as well. So close to running through them after getting them 3/38.
_Ed_
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Flem274*
123/5
I just played one of the best matches I've ever played in ICC. Thriller.
Australia in New Zealand: 3rd Test Match
New Zealand 388
Peter Fulton 147
Shane Bond 72
James Franklin 69*
Paul Rofe 4/71
Shaun Tait 3/104
Bond He's on fire! Peter Fulton lead the way with a big century with the batsmen collapsing around him, then when he departed Bond and Franklin infuriated the Australian bowlers.
Australia 520/9 dec.
Michael Clarke 127
Ricky Ponting 91
Michael Hussey 79
Phil Jaques 65
Justin langer 58
Daniel Vettori 5/129
Jacob Oram 1/59
We got pumped.
New Zealand 333/6 dec.
Mathew Sinclair 72
Peter Howell 72
Shane Bond 51*
Paul Rofe 4/78
Brett Lee 2/74
Sinclair and Howell held the top order together, and then Bond.. He's in the batting form of his life. Shame it's the end of the season. WAG.
We gave Australia 202 to chase in two sessions. Very gettable, but I wanted to give us a chance at winning such a close series.
Australia 200/7
Michael Hussey 77
Ricky Ponting 49*
Daniel Vettori 3/54
Shane Bond 2/27
Hussey and Jaques got Australia away to an electric start, putting on 122 for the first wicket. Then the grand collapse started, with Australians getting out to the spinners left right and centre. All except Ricky Mother****ing Ponting.
Ponting was striking at better than a run a ball for his first 20, and keeping him off strike or getting rid of him became top priority. It was one hell of a close game, and when Vettori literally couldn't bowl anymore Bond was brought in and he struck, ripping out Gilchrist, who had begun to build a semblance of a partnership with Ponting.
Then Bond struck again, ripping out Lee, and it looked like Australia were about to be routed. Ponting marshalled the tail and worked Shane Bond and Bruce Martin around the park, inching Australia closer.
With two overs to go in the day Australia needed only two runs to win the match and the series. Bracken took guard, and Shane Bond flew down his run up, and bowled a beauty of an over. Bracken had no idea, but somehow he managed to survive his flirts with the edge and his raps on the pads. Bond bowled a maiden, and Ricky Ponting, 49*, was on strike for the final over. James Franklin was brought on, with Australia still needing two runs to win and New Zealand needing three wickets.
Franklin bowled, and Ponting could not find the gaps. The game ended in a draw, and what a game it was. The teams could not be seperated the entire series, and the 0-0 scoreline reflected the cricket perfectly.
Australia in New Zealand: 3rd Test Match
New Zealand 388
Peter Fulton 147
Shane Bond 72
James Franklin 69*
Paul Rofe 4/71
Shaun Tait 3/104
Bond
He's on fire! Peter Fulton lead the way with a big century with the batsmen collapsing around him, then when he departed Bond and Franklin infuriated the Australian bowlers.Australia 520/9 dec.
Michael Clarke 127
Ricky Ponting 91
Michael Hussey 79
Phil Jaques 65
Justin langer 58
Daniel Vettori 5/129
Jacob Oram 1/59
We got pumped.
New Zealand 333/6 dec.
Mathew Sinclair 72
Peter Howell 72
Shane Bond 51*
Paul Rofe 4/78
Brett Lee 2/74
Sinclair and Howell held the top order together, and then Bond..
He's in the batting form of his life. Shame it's the end of the season. WAG.We gave Australia 202 to chase in two sessions. Very gettable, but I wanted to give us a chance at winning such a close series.
Australia 200/7
Michael Hussey 77
Ricky Ponting 49*
Daniel Vettori 3/54
Shane Bond 2/27
Hussey and Jaques got Australia away to an electric start, putting on 122 for the first wicket. Then the grand collapse started, with Australians getting out to the spinners left right and centre. All except Ricky Mother****ing Ponting.
Ponting was striking at better than a run a ball for his first 20, and keeping him off strike or getting rid of him became top priority. It was one hell of a close game, and when Vettori literally couldn't bowl anymore Bond was brought in and he struck, ripping out Gilchrist, who had begun to build a semblance of a partnership with Ponting.
Then Bond struck again, ripping out Lee, and it looked like Australia were about to be routed. Ponting marshalled the tail and worked Shane Bond and Bruce Martin around the park, inching Australia closer.
With two overs to go in the day Australia needed only two runs to win the match and the series. Bracken took guard, and Shane Bond flew down his run up, and bowled a beauty of an over. Bracken had no idea, but somehow he managed to survive his flirts with the edge and his raps on the pads. Bond bowled a maiden, and Ricky Ponting, 49*, was on strike for the final over. James Franklin was brought on, with Australia still needing two runs to win and New Zealand needing three wickets.
Franklin bowled, and Ponting could not find the gaps. The game ended in a draw, and what a game it was. The teams could not be seperated the entire series, and the 0-0 scoreline reflected the cricket perfectly.
Flem274*
123/5
New Zealand in England 2009
New Zealand Squad
Peter Fulton
Stephen Fleming (c)
Peter Howell
Shannan Stewart
Tim Lythe
Nick Horsley
Mathew Sinclair
Brendon McCullum (wk)
Lou Vincent
Jesse Ryder
Jacob Oram
Daniel Vettori
James Franklin
Kyle Mills
Shane Bond
Gareth Shaw
Bruce Martin
Daryl Tuffey
1st Tour Match: Derbyshire vs New Zealand
Derbyshire 186
Chris Taylor 62*
James Maher 31
Shane Bond 5/34
James Franklin 3/54
New Zealand 357/8 dec.
Stephen Fleming 101
Peter Howell 67
Shane Bond 60
Graham Wagg 5/92
Jake Needham 2/68
I swear I'm not h4xing Bond's batting.
Derbyshire 280
James Maher 70
Michael Carton 57
Gareth Shaw 4/82
Daniel Vettori 4/97
New Zealand 110/0
Peter Fulton 56*
Mathew Sinclair 49*
New Zealand win by 10 wickets.
New Zealand Squad
Peter Fulton
Stephen Fleming (c)
Peter Howell
Shannan Stewart
Tim Lythe
Nick Horsley
Mathew Sinclair
Brendon McCullum (wk)
Lou Vincent
Jesse Ryder
Jacob Oram
Daniel Vettori
James Franklin
Kyle Mills
Shane Bond
Gareth Shaw
Bruce Martin
Daryl Tuffey
1st Tour Match: Derbyshire vs New Zealand
Derbyshire 186
Chris Taylor 62*
James Maher 31
Shane Bond 5/34
James Franklin 3/54
New Zealand 357/8 dec.
Stephen Fleming 101
Peter Howell 67
Shane Bond 60
Graham Wagg 5/92
Jake Needham 2/68
I swear I'm not h4xing Bond's batting.Derbyshire 280
James Maher 70
Michael Carton 57
Gareth Shaw 4/82
Daniel Vettori 4/97
New Zealand 110/0
Peter Fulton 56*
Mathew Sinclair 49*
New Zealand win by 10 wickets.
Flem274*
123/5
2nd Tour Match: Durham vs New Zealand
New Zealand 410/4 dec.
Jesse Ryder 100*
Stephen Fleming 92
Peter Howell 86
Jacob Oram 62*
Mathew Sinclair 56
Graeme Bridge 2/93
David Barrick 1/51
Durham 176
David Hussey 63
Tony Woodcock 41
Bruce Martin 5/67
James Franklin 3/26
Durham 235
Nick Wilde 91
David Hussey 50
James Franklin 5/53
Shane Bond 2/32
New Zealand 2/0
New Zealand win by 10 wickets
New Zealand 410/4 dec.
Jesse Ryder 100*
Stephen Fleming 92
Peter Howell 86
Jacob Oram 62*
Mathew Sinclair 56
Graeme Bridge 2/93
David Barrick 1/51
Durham 176
David Hussey 63
Tony Woodcock 41
Bruce Martin 5/67
James Franklin 3/26
Durham 235
Nick Wilde 91
David Hussey 50
James Franklin 5/53
Shane Bond 2/32
New Zealand 2/0
New Zealand win by 10 wickets
Flem274*
123/5
New Zealand in England: 1st Test Match
England won the toss on a wicket that looked to take turn later in the match and elected to bat first.
The lineups
Alistair Cook
Stuart ****burn
Kevin Pietersen
Ian Bell
Andrew Strauss (c)
Chris Read (wk)
Andrew Flintoff
James Anderson
Stephen Harmison
Monty Panesar
Mathew Hoggard
Peter Fulton
Mathew Sinclair
Stephen Fleming (c)
Peter Howell
Jesse Ryder
Jacob Oram
Brendon McCullum
Shane Bond
Daniel Vettori
James Franklin
Bruce Martin
England 205
Andrew Strauss 51
Stuart ****burn 35
Daniel Vettori 4/27
James Franklin 2/35
Shane Bond 2/51
Jesse Ryder 2/37
Great stuff
New Zealand 233
Mathew Sinclair 40
Stephen Fleming 38
Mathew Hoggard 5/78
Stephen Harmison 2/55
Hoggard bundled us out under cloudy skies. Very realistic.
England 292
Kevin Pietersen 129*
Andrew Flintoff 51
Daniel Vettori 5/63
James Franklin 2/84
Pietersen played a blinder, and England looked pretty ominous.
New Zealand 265/3
Peter Fulton 126*
Peter Howell 48*
James Anderson 1/41
Monty Panesar 1/51
New Zealand win by 7 wickets.
Wow, great stuff. Our opening partnership knocking up 98 for the first wicket really set it up, and the middle order brought it home.
England won the toss on a wicket that looked to take turn later in the match and elected to bat first.
The lineups
Alistair Cook
Stuart ****burn
Kevin Pietersen
Ian Bell
Andrew Strauss (c)
Chris Read (wk)
Andrew Flintoff
James Anderson
Stephen Harmison
Monty Panesar
Mathew Hoggard
Peter Fulton
Mathew Sinclair
Stephen Fleming (c)
Peter Howell
Jesse Ryder
Jacob Oram
Brendon McCullum
Shane Bond
Daniel Vettori
James Franklin
Bruce Martin
England 205
Andrew Strauss 51
Stuart ****burn 35
Daniel Vettori 4/27
James Franklin 2/35
Shane Bond 2/51
Jesse Ryder 2/37
Great stuff
New Zealand 233
Mathew Sinclair 40
Stephen Fleming 38
Mathew Hoggard 5/78
Stephen Harmison 2/55
Hoggard bundled us out under cloudy skies. Very realistic.
England 292
Kevin Pietersen 129*
Andrew Flintoff 51
Daniel Vettori 5/63
James Franklin 2/84
Pietersen played a blinder, and England looked pretty ominous.
New Zealand 265/3
Peter Fulton 126*
Peter Howell 48*
James Anderson 1/41
Monty Panesar 1/51
New Zealand win by 7 wickets.
Wow, great stuff. Our opening partnership knocking up 98 for the first wicket really set it up, and the middle order brought it home.
_Ed_
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Flem274*
123/5
3rd Tour Match: Sussex vs New Zealand
Tried out the n00bz today.
Shannan Stewart
Nick Horsley
Tim Lythe
Peter Howell
Lou Vincent
Jacob Oram
Brendon McCullum
Kyle Mills
Bruce Martin
Daryl Tuffey
Gareth Shaw
New Zealand 330/8 dec.
Lou Vincent 95
Jacob Oram 53
Charlie Shreck 6/76
Tim Linley 2/47
Sussex 125
Michael Yardy 36
Sean Heather 25
Kyle Mills 5/40
Gareth Shaw 5/40
Sussex 179
Matt Prior 54
Dawid Malan 35
Gareth Shaw 5/62
Bruce Martin 3/22
New Zealand win by an innings and 26 runs.
Second test about to be played.
Tried out the n00bz today.
Shannan Stewart
Nick Horsley
Tim Lythe
Peter Howell
Lou Vincent
Jacob Oram
Brendon McCullum
Kyle Mills
Bruce Martin
Daryl Tuffey
Gareth Shaw
New Zealand 330/8 dec.
Lou Vincent 95
Jacob Oram 53
Charlie Shreck 6/76
Tim Linley 2/47
Sussex 125
Michael Yardy 36
Sean Heather 25
Kyle Mills 5/40
Gareth Shaw 5/40
Sussex 179
Matt Prior 54
Dawid Malan 35
Gareth Shaw 5/62
Bruce Martin 3/22
New Zealand win by an innings and 26 runs.
Second test about to be played.
Flem274*
123/5
Nah, coz he's a **** ****.