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Phlegm's Half Arsed NZ Story Volume II
- Thread starter Flem274*
- Start date
Flem274*
123/5
No one had a high strike rate in that game. War of attrition, Mark Richardson style.
Anyway, the scorecard...
New Zealand in Bangladesh: 2nd Test Match
New Zealand 458/9 dec.
Peter Fulton 225
Daniel Vettori 83
Jacob Oram 82
Bangladesh 230 all out
Shariar Nafees 77
Naeem Islam 31
James Franklin 5/48
Shane Bond 3/53
Bangladesh follow on.
Bangladesh 207 all out
Naeem Islam 69*
Habibul Bashar 35
Jacob Oram 3/18
Shane Bond 3/49
New Zealand win by an innings and 21 runs
In other matches around the world...
Pakistan pwn Zimbabwe for the second test in a row by an innings. Taufeeq umar tonned up and the Pakistan bowlers just went nuts. I don't want to face them tbh.
England beat Sri Lanka in Sri Lanka by 10 wickets to go 2-0 up. Strauss scored 107 and Sri Lanka batted like ****, scoring 171 and 127 respectively. England's first innings total was only 255 and their second inning chase 45.
Next up I have two tests against England.
ICC Test Rankings
Australia
Pakistan
England
India
South Africa
Sri Lanka
New Zealand
West Indies
Bangladesh
Zimbabwe
Flem274*
123/5
The game loves India. In my old game I had one series victory over India at home, and it was sweet.
By the 2023 season in my old game, Australia were a middling team. I'm sure the NZ media loved describing them as a team of gritty, gutsy cricketers who do the basics well and play with a good team spirit.
In contrast, NZ had an Indian-esque batting line up with the second greatest after Bradman (averaging 71 after 40 tests) and two world class spinners.
I wonder if I'll get that lucky ever again. Damn I'm pissed I lost that game. I need Nathan Anderson's batting in this game. Best number three ever, only downside being he was from ND.
By the 2023 season in my old game, Australia were a middling team. I'm sure the NZ media loved describing them as a team of gritty, gutsy cricketers who do the basics well and play with a good team spirit.
In contrast, NZ had an Indian-esque batting line up with the second greatest after Bradman (averaging 71 after 40 tests) and two world class spinners.
I wonder if I'll get that lucky ever again. Damn I'm pissed I lost that game. I need Nathan Anderson's batting in this game. Best number three ever, only downside being he was from ND.
G.I.Joe
International Coach
Flem274*
123/5
Mulling over selections for the England series. Guptill will miss at least the first test with a knee injury, which is probably a blessing in disguise because apart from a 50 on a flat deck in Bangladesh he has been pretty dire. 4 tests, 174 runs @ 29 with the one fifty isn't good enough. His FC form has been meh as well.
Bruce Martin will probably make way for another quick, and Pinga's ability to throw away starts is frustrating.
So I'm looking for an opener, a pacer and need a middle order batsman in mind just in case.
Craig McMillan is topping the batting charts this season, but he's never been much chop for me in ICC. Richard Jones is right up there as well. Mark Gillespie is also on fire with the bat, stringing together 6 fifties in 11 matches.
Hamish Marshall is having a good season, but he is ****er than ****e. Sinclair isn't doing too badly, and Mathew Bell is the highest opener, with McIntosh not far behind. Dark horse Englefield is averaging 34.
Daryl Tuffey leads the bowling charts, followed by Tama Canning, Gareth Shaw and Iain O'Brien, then it's Oram/Franklin/Bond/Mills.
Cairns played well in the tour match and is averaging 27 atm, but he was a liability in the first innings of the tour match. Pasupati also averaging 27.
I'm thinking open with Sinclair. The other options are just too dire. Cairns will probably come in for Martin.
Bruce Martin will probably make way for another quick, and Pinga's ability to throw away starts is frustrating.
So I'm looking for an opener, a pacer and need a middle order batsman in mind just in case.
Craig McMillan is topping the batting charts this season, but he's never been much chop for me in ICC. Richard Jones is right up there as well. Mark Gillespie is also on fire with the bat, stringing together 6 fifties in 11 matches.
Hamish Marshall is having a good season, but he is ****er than ****e. Sinclair isn't doing too badly, and Mathew Bell is the highest opener, with McIntosh not far behind. Dark horse Englefield is averaging 34.Daryl Tuffey leads the bowling charts, followed by Tama Canning, Gareth Shaw and Iain O'Brien, then it's Oram/Franklin/Bond/Mills.
Cairns played well in the tour match and is averaging 27 atm, but he was a liability in the first innings of the tour match. Pasupati also averaging 27.
I'm thinking open with Sinclair. The other options are just too dire. Cairns will probably come in for Martin.
Flem274*
123/5
Waste of space. His FC performance is dire.
Flem274*
123/5
Bruce Martin ftw.
Test sqaud
Peter Fulton
Mathew Sinclair
Stephen Fleming
Peter Ingram
Jesse Ryder
Jacob Oram
Brendon McCullum
Chris Cairns
Daniel Vettori
James Franklin
Shane Bond
Bruce Martin
Bring it England.
Flem274*
123/5
YYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Such a gun, close game.
New Zealand Pull of Heroic Test Victory, Oram I just dreaming?
Jacob Oram scored two centuries in the test to steer NZ to victory against England by just three wickets in Napier.
The match was a true thriller, and went into the last session of the 5th day. Realistically, at day five's dawn a draw was almost impossible. What followed was thrilling.
On day one England elected to bat on a batsman's paradise. They were immediately in strife, with James Franklin shattering Alistair Cook's off-stump for 1 run off only two balls.
Enter Kevin Pietersen.
On his second ball his helmet was rattled by a fired up James Franklin, but Pietersen was only shaken, not broken. He returned serve with a scintillating 132 off 185 balls, flaying the New Zealand attack around Hawkes Bay. He was supported by his captain Andrew Strauss, who built a conservative 57 from 127 deliveries before Shane Bond rapped him on the pads with a classic in swinging pearler.
Ian Bell came and went for a pretty twenty before he was caught and bowled off Vettori, but Pietersen soldiered onwards. He was joined by Michael Vaughan, whose classical strokeplay will ensure his innings a permanent spot in PornTube’s top rated movies.
Jacob Oram put an end to the batting pornography, Vaughan’s thick outside edge adding to Stephen Fleming’s impressive catching tally. Marcus Trescothick departed soon after, his middle stump uprooted by Oram and no doubt the opener turned middle order batsman hit the anti-depressants heavily.
James Franklin was brought back on, and he snared his man. Ryder took a simple catch at slip and Pietersen was gone for 132.
England’s lower order refused to budge, and had to be pried out on a drying Napier pitch. Simon Jones’s 40 infuriated the New Zealanders’, and Franklin’s newfound talent for getting wickets from no balls didn’t help the cause.
Eventually the English batting was dismissed for 393, an imposing but perhaps disappointing target at Napier. Shane Bond’s 4/86 was a valiant effort on a difficult pitch.
Fulton and Sinclair marched into the middle, with Sinclair on his 38564th recall. Skippy didn’t last long, caught by Read off Hoggard for 7. In contrast, Peter Fulton glued himself to the wicket, grinding 80 from 194 balls. Fleming came and went, bowled by Simon Jones for 38. Ingram and Ryder didn’t last long either. Jacob Oram entered the fray with the innings hanging in the balance at 4/125.
Oram carved 103 from 147 balls, punishing the English attack. When Fulton departed from another magnificent Jones delivery, he found assistance in Vettori, who contributed 43. Both were eventually snared by Hoggard, who finished the innings with a fine 5/79, showing everyone how to bowl on a flat wicket. Bond slogged 22 before becoming Hoggard’s final victim. New Zealand were dismissed for 356.
The English came out to force their slender advantage and immediately came unstuck. James Franklin produced a repeat of the first innings, rattling Cook’s off-stump for a six ball 1. Andrew Strauss followed in Franklin’s next over for a nine ball duck.
Kevin Pietersen and Ian Bell got starts before being dismissed by Shane Bond. Michael Vaughan also got a start, but chipped a lame return catch to Cairns who took it with ease.
Trescothick and Read righted the ship, with Tresco striking 76 before being run out and Read led another lower order fight with 80. Once again the English lower order had to be pried out, and they were finally dismissed with Bond taking another 4 wickets.
New Zealand immediately blunted the English attack. Fulton and Sinclair shared a 116 run opening stand, before Sinclair was dismissed for 58 from 134 balls. Fleming and Fulton continued the runs, with Fleming finding the boundary almost at will.
Mathew Hoggard put an end to it. He dismissed Fleming for 35 from 40 balls before snaring Ingram for yet another pretty 30 from the Central Districts batsman. Then Anderson uprooted Ryder’s middle stump for a three ball duck.
Oram joined Fulton at the wicket. Fulton continued to grind but Oram took the attack to the English. Typically for a New Zealand batting display, disaster soon struck again when Hoggard caught Fulton lbw for 69 and McCullum played the stupid shot of all stupid shots to Jones, lofting a chip straight down the throat of James Anderson in the outfield.
Chris Cairns entered the fray. His batting nowadays is a shadow of it’s former self, but he is still as determined as ever. He stayed with Oram, turning the strike over as Oram plundered the English, who had no answer to him. The pair formed a match winning partnership of 105 before Cairns was bowled by Jones for 41 from 71 balls.
But the damage was done. Oram stroked his way to a breezy 101* from 127 balls and New Zealand scraped over the line with 3 wickets to spare.
Scorecard
England 393 all out
Kevin Pietersen 132
Michael Vaughan 68
Andrew Strauss 57
Shane Bond 4/86
Daniel Vettori 2/66
New Zealand 356 all out
Jacob Oram 103
Peter Fulton 80
Mathew Hoggard 5/79
James Anderson 3/82
England 321 all out
Chris Read 80
Marcus Trescothick 76
Shane Bond 4/96
Daniel Vettori 2/39
New Zealand 359/7
Jacob Oram 101*
Peter Fulton 69
Mathew Sinclair 58
Mathew Hoggard 3/75
Simon Jones 3/80
New Zealand win by 3 wickets.
Such a gun, close game.
New Zealand Pull of Heroic Test Victory, Oram I just dreaming?
Jacob Oram scored two centuries in the test to steer NZ to victory against England by just three wickets in Napier.
The match was a true thriller, and went into the last session of the 5th day. Realistically, at day five's dawn a draw was almost impossible. What followed was thrilling.
On day one England elected to bat on a batsman's paradise. They were immediately in strife, with James Franklin shattering Alistair Cook's off-stump for 1 run off only two balls.
Enter Kevin Pietersen.
On his second ball his helmet was rattled by a fired up James Franklin, but Pietersen was only shaken, not broken. He returned serve with a scintillating 132 off 185 balls, flaying the New Zealand attack around Hawkes Bay. He was supported by his captain Andrew Strauss, who built a conservative 57 from 127 deliveries before Shane Bond rapped him on the pads with a classic in swinging pearler.
Ian Bell came and went for a pretty twenty before he was caught and bowled off Vettori, but Pietersen soldiered onwards. He was joined by Michael Vaughan, whose classical strokeplay will ensure his innings a permanent spot in PornTube’s top rated movies.
Jacob Oram put an end to the batting pornography, Vaughan’s thick outside edge adding to Stephen Fleming’s impressive catching tally. Marcus Trescothick departed soon after, his middle stump uprooted by Oram and no doubt the opener turned middle order batsman hit the anti-depressants heavily.
James Franklin was brought back on, and he snared his man. Ryder took a simple catch at slip and Pietersen was gone for 132.
England’s lower order refused to budge, and had to be pried out on a drying Napier pitch. Simon Jones’s 40 infuriated the New Zealanders’, and Franklin’s newfound talent for getting wickets from no balls didn’t help the cause.
Eventually the English batting was dismissed for 393, an imposing but perhaps disappointing target at Napier. Shane Bond’s 4/86 was a valiant effort on a difficult pitch.
Fulton and Sinclair marched into the middle, with Sinclair on his 38564th recall. Skippy didn’t last long, caught by Read off Hoggard for 7. In contrast, Peter Fulton glued himself to the wicket, grinding 80 from 194 balls. Fleming came and went, bowled by Simon Jones for 38. Ingram and Ryder didn’t last long either. Jacob Oram entered the fray with the innings hanging in the balance at 4/125.
Oram carved 103 from 147 balls, punishing the English attack. When Fulton departed from another magnificent Jones delivery, he found assistance in Vettori, who contributed 43. Both were eventually snared by Hoggard, who finished the innings with a fine 5/79, showing everyone how to bowl on a flat wicket. Bond slogged 22 before becoming Hoggard’s final victim. New Zealand were dismissed for 356.
The English came out to force their slender advantage and immediately came unstuck. James Franklin produced a repeat of the first innings, rattling Cook’s off-stump for a six ball 1. Andrew Strauss followed in Franklin’s next over for a nine ball duck.
Kevin Pietersen and Ian Bell got starts before being dismissed by Shane Bond. Michael Vaughan also got a start, but chipped a lame return catch to Cairns who took it with ease.
Trescothick and Read righted the ship, with Tresco striking 76 before being run out and Read led another lower order fight with 80. Once again the English lower order had to be pried out, and they were finally dismissed with Bond taking another 4 wickets.
New Zealand immediately blunted the English attack. Fulton and Sinclair shared a 116 run opening stand, before Sinclair was dismissed for 58 from 134 balls. Fleming and Fulton continued the runs, with Fleming finding the boundary almost at will.
Mathew Hoggard put an end to it. He dismissed Fleming for 35 from 40 balls before snaring Ingram for yet another pretty 30 from the Central Districts batsman. Then Anderson uprooted Ryder’s middle stump for a three ball duck.
Oram joined Fulton at the wicket. Fulton continued to grind but Oram took the attack to the English. Typically for a New Zealand batting display, disaster soon struck again when Hoggard caught Fulton lbw for 69 and McCullum played the stupid shot of all stupid shots to Jones, lofting a chip straight down the throat of James Anderson in the outfield.
Chris Cairns entered the fray. His batting nowadays is a shadow of it’s former self, but he is still as determined as ever. He stayed with Oram, turning the strike over as Oram plundered the English, who had no answer to him. The pair formed a match winning partnership of 105 before Cairns was bowled by Jones for 41 from 71 balls.
But the damage was done. Oram stroked his way to a breezy 101* from 127 balls and New Zealand scraped over the line with 3 wickets to spare.
Scorecard
England 393 all out
Kevin Pietersen 132
Michael Vaughan 68
Andrew Strauss 57
Shane Bond 4/86
Daniel Vettori 2/66
New Zealand 356 all out
Jacob Oram 103
Peter Fulton 80
Mathew Hoggard 5/79
James Anderson 3/82
England 321 all out
Chris Read 80
Marcus Trescothick 76
Shane Bond 4/96
Daniel Vettori 2/39
New Zealand 359/7
Jacob Oram 101*
Peter Fulton 69
Mathew Sinclair 58
Mathew Hoggard 3/75
Simon Jones 3/80
New Zealand win by 3 wickets.
Somerset
Cricketer Of The Year
What a great test - Oram WAG. Fantastic double century from Fulton against Bangladesh on the last page too. I actually remember scoring 300 with Fulton against Bangladesh on my ICC 3 game with New Zealand - hes sensational on ICC, particularly from about ICC 2006 to 2009 (haven't found him so effective in the 2010 version).