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Battle of the Infamous Footballers

OverratedSanity

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Gotta be Hoeness for me. Did despicable things unrelated to the sport which makes him worse. Diego is just funny and probably just a tad too good as a footballer to trump him
 

LongHopCassidy

International Captain
Round 1, Battle 7

Deeply sorry about the delay; went to visit parents and internet was borked the whole time.

John Terry (Chelsea, England)



Crimes:

- The racism saga
- Shagged Wayne Bridge's ex, causing him to retire from the England team
- Dropped a piss-bomb in an Essex nightclub
- Spawn of a cocaine dealer and a kleptomaniac
- ****ed up his penalty in the 2008 Champion's League final
- Glassed a bouncer just before 2002 World Cup squad selection
- Went to an airport pub to laugh at Americans on the day of 9/11
- Cheated on his fiancee in a public car park
- Led a failed coup against Fabio Capello at 2010 World Cup
- Gave a insider tour of Stamford Bridge for a £10,000 bribe
- Parks in disabled spots

“How many times did he call you a ****?” Ferdinand: “I couldn’t tell you” - Anton Ferdinand at Terry's trial

"I know all your girlfriends, all of them." - Stock Terry sledge during games

"After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans are now urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey's wife." - Chain e-mail

"Chelsea, wherever you may be,
Don't leave your wife with John Terry,
His dad deals coke, and his mum steals tea,
And he cried when he missed a penalty."
- Away fans at Stamford Bridge (to the tune of Lord of the Dance)

"During questioning, George Carter-Stephenson QC, for Terry, said: 'Can you say, please, four times?' Terry responded 'Please, please, please, please' to guffaws of laughter around the courtroom. The footballer appeared confused by response from the courtroom." - Quote from racism hearing

“I don’t like John Terry and I never have. He’s got funny eyes and he’s a cry baby. He’s also a ****ney and he’d absolutely be coming [to Man City] just for the money.” - Noel Gallagher


Kieron Dyer (Newcastle United, England)



Crimes:

- Telegenic spit-roaster, especially when leaving behind pregnant girlfriends
- Refused to play on the right for his club while on a £60,000 contract
- Failed to play 90 minutes in a full season for West Ham
- Actually enjoys Craig Bellamy's company
- Punched on with own teammate (admittedly Lee Bowyer)

“We're team-mates and we have disagreements, but we shouldn't fight in front of 50,000 people” - Dyer looks back

"The real reason Dyer is viewed with such borderline mockery in football is that – through absolutely no fault of his own – he has tested the threshold of people’s capacity for sympathy." - The Daisy Cutter

"In the past I’ve been coasting during training because I wanted to save myself for the match but this is all high intensity training." - Dyer on his philosophy of professionalism

"But flouncing out is not an option, nor refusing the honour of the captain's armband when introduced as a substitute. Certainly not at £60,000 a week." - The Observer


Rivaldo (Barcelona, Brazil)



Crimes:

- Mostly this


"An act so despicable that it deserves to rank alongside Toni Schumacher's assault on Patrick Battiston in 1982 and even the Hand of God itself in the tournament's gallery of infamous moments." - The Guardian

"He has a kind of autism about him." - Spanish journalist

"He was essentially clueless: whereas Zidane's headbutt on Marco Materazzi was impossibly cool, Rivaldo's act of World Cup skulduggery was hideously ham-fisted." - Rob Smyth

"The ball touched my leg, but the other player was still wrong to kick the ball at me." - Rivaldo speaks out about victim-blaming
 
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BoyBrumby

Englishman
Dyer's an underrated smokey here. Alleged other misdemeanours include paying a mother for "pastoral care" after her 14 year old daughter had an abortion (however, my lawyers advise me to say there's no suggestion the progeny was Dyer's...) and setting fire to a wedge of money in front of a beggar in a former Soviet country whilst on England duty.

That said, he's copped a stiff draw here: Captain Racist. Pretty much the embodiment of every perceived wrong in English football.
 

grecian

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Dyer a total idiot, but I've always had a soft spot for him because of this. Made me chuckle anyway, so that's more than that **** Terry has ever done.
 

sledger

Spanish_Vicente
Terry by miles.

Dyer is/was dire, and Rivaldo was great, despite being suspect. Terry is just a **** of the highest order.
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Rivaldo getting away scot free at the moment. That has to be one of the lowest acts I've seen on the football field. Get the ball kicked into your knee and go down clutching your face and getting a fellow professional sent off in the process.

Dyer and Terry definitely have a longer CV though, I must admit.
 

Uppercut

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Rivaldo getting away scot free at the moment. That has to be one of the lowest acts I've seen on the football field. Get the ball kicked into your knee and go down clutching your face and getting a fellow professional sent off in the process.
Does anyone ever use "fellow professional" to describe a footballer in any other context? The phrase seems to exist solely to make the innocuous act of requesting a booking for an opponent seem utterly despicable.
 

sledger

Spanish_Vicente
"Fellow professional" is a term used almost exclusively in a footballing context, in my experience. I can't recall hearing it anywhere else, certainly not in recent memory anyway.

"Impeded" is another such word, though I think UC has raised this point before too.
 

grecian

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Meh, Rivaldo doesn't even deserve to be in this. After all that incident turned Millions of irritating Americans and Ozzies off the game, so it can only be good thing.

Most players exaggerate injuries. It's a bit like the Broad-walking thing, only hated because it was so obvious, so if you cheat well it's better than if you do it badly.

In an ideal world both wouldn't happen, but unless you haven't been paying attention, we're not really in an ideal world.
 

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