We talk a lot on CW about various commentators who annoy us no end while we watch the summer game, but what about the tennis?
This year at the Australian Open we have the usual suspects from Channel 7 producing the same tired cliches for the 27th year in a row.
And I'm jack of it. It's even infested some of the new comers like to the commentary box like Molik and Rasheed. Feel free to add your own efforts which **** you to tears. Here are some of mine:
1. Anything from John Alexander. The man sounds like he's straining to punch one out on the brasco every friggin' point. Why JA? Why the intensity in your voice as Rafa leads 6-1, 6-0, 5-1 and is serving it out? Why do you need to regail us with "The hardest part is serving the match out"? Really? The bloke's number one in the world and has won multiple grand slam events. I really don't think he'll struggle that much.
2. "Your body language has to be positive. You can't send a negative message across the net". Really? Tell that to Pete Sampras who won 13 (13!!) major titles, all the while giving us a facial expression and hang-dog walk around the court like his mother had just died. What tripe.
3. "Jelena has to be mentally strong here". Well, she is mentally strong - to have gotten back on the court at all after the crap with he father and family shows us she is. A bit like Keith Miller and the "Pressure is a Messerschmidt up your arse" comment, does Dokic really think playing a set of tennis will test her mental strength, after overcoming all the other rubbish in her life? And anyway, it's axiomatic to say someone has to show mental strength to win a tight match at the elite level of any sport.
There are myriad others, but I cbf re=producing them here, as I'd neck myself if I took the time to repeat them.
Also, out of interest, who's your favourite tennis commentator?