Cricket Player Manager
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Yorkies, Porkies and Rats (sod, no whales to hunt)

  1. #1
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
    Defend Your Castle Champion! Monkey Diving Champion!
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bonn, BRD
    Posts
    23,015

    Yorkies, Porkies and Rats (sod, no whales to hunt)

    It was all a bit rushed. Having to rebook my plane from Toco to Leeds in a flash wasn't easy - neither was meeting up with my Yorkshire "mates", who seemed to think that my version of English sounded too Lancastrian to bother with. So the only one I could talk normally to during the first training session was the fellow European, John Blain, who told me that Yorkies did this to every new player. He showed me what county cricket was like by bowling with fearsome swing - and given the way I bat, I blocked everything. This repeated itself about twenty times before John made an offer. "Listen mate, I'm bored of trying to beat your block, hit this one out of the nets and I'll buy ya a round! Given that a Scot had just offered to buy me something, I felt that I had to take the opportunity, and it seemed like an obnoxious half-volley too...so I tried to smack it and somehow got a top edge into Wakefield, by the looks of it.

    John was impressed - though I certainly wasn't - and things were looking up. We had a bit of a chat at the pub afterwards, solving the problems of European cricket and generally telling about our own countries, and by the sound of it, I'd already gained a mate in Leeds.

    There wasn't a lot of time for chatting, however - the next day, we were on our way to Chelmsford, for the feared Essexians. Everyone kept talking about the Essex bug - someone even faked a "vaccination" so that we wouldn't catch it and become like them.

    However, we had come there to play, not to joke (if you could get that into Silverwood's head). Andy Flower won the toss and chose the immigrant side to bat - few sides had probably fielded more foreigners, with one Aussie, two Zimbabweans, one Pakistani, one Yorkie and one Cleethorpesian - a wise choice on a flat patch. Dropping Alistair Cook on six did wonders for my confidence too...he went on to be the rock of the innings with 82 at the top of the order, showing why he was lauded to be batting for England in the not-too-distant future. My mate Johnny was, sadly, having an off-day - he served up too many pies to Grant Flower and Cook, and finished with an economy rate nearing six. He did get Grant in the end, though, being caught at mid off by Matt Wood. Still, Essex made 384 and were in control.

    The Yorkies all made starts, but were stopped in our tracks - I made 77 for the first with Michael Vaughan for the first wicket before skying one to Jefferson, and we were all out for 232 after the worst piece of sledging I've ever seen from Pickup, Goughie and Kennett. Somehow, leading by 152 was enough to make us follow-on (mental note: check Wisden for four-day follow-on rules) and even less likely, I started slogging. Only way to describe it. Century up in 236 balls - making partnerships along the way like I usually do for Reds - and carrying the team to 373 all out, a lead of 221. Thanks to Johnny - who grabbed 3 for 30, including Irani, Grant Flower and Stephenson - we had them 92 for 9, only to let Pickup (!!!!!) and Andy Flower slip up with a last wicket partnership of 33, the Ginger scoring what must be a career-best 13 before being caught by yours truly.

    Somehow, the man of the match officiator must have been in the same pub as me and Johnny - he certainly smelled of very bad beer when he handed me the award, which probably should have gone to someone else (Silverwood or Johnny, maybe...couldn't have done without that spell of bowling)
    Last edited by Samuel_Vimes; 14-11-2004 at 04:20 PM.
    Messi scores on the rebound.

    Founder of ESAS - Edgar Schiferli, the best associate bowler
    A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
    Member of JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS

    Quote Originally Posted by Adolf Grünbaum
    Is the conduct approved by the gods right ("pious"), because of properties of its own, or merely because it pleases the gods to value or command it?

  2. #2
    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Oxford, England
    Posts
    26,881
    Follow on rules
    Five-day match: 200 runs behind
    Four-day match: 150 runs behind
    Three-day match: 100 runs behind
    Two-day match: 50 runs behind
    MSN Messenger: minardineil2000 at hotmail dot com | AAAS Chairman
    CricketWeb Black | CricketWeb XI Captain
    ClarkeWatch: We're Watching Rikki - Are You?

    Up The Grecians - Exeter City FC

    Completing the Square: My Cricket Web Blog

  3. #3
    Hall of Fame Member superkingdave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    DRS Box
    Posts
    19,058
    Good reading, hope you get pounded by Lancashire though, you should have turned down the chance to play for the in breds, that would have been better

  4. #4
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad)
    Posts
    36,795
    Quote Originally Posted by Neil Pickup
    Follow on rules
    Five-day match: 200 runs behind
    Four-day match: 150 runs behind
    Three-day match: 100 runs behind
    Two-day match: 50 runs behind
    No defence of your batting prowess? You're usually quick to mention 36.
    Sreesanth said, "Next ball he was beaten and I said, 'is this the King Charles Lara? Who is this impostor, moving around nervously? I should have kept my mouth shut for the next ball - mind you, it was a length ball - Lara just pulled it over the church beyond the boundary! He is a true legend."



  5. #5
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad)
    Posts
    36,795
    Great read Haakon. Keeping up the trend of good diaries this offseason.

  6. #6
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
    Defend Your Castle Champion! Monkey Diving Champion!
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bonn, BRD
    Posts
    23,015
    Quote Originally Posted by Neil Pickup
    Follow on rules
    Five-day match: 200 runs behind
    Four-day match: 150 runs behind
    Three-day match: 100 runs behind
    Two-day match: 50 runs behind
    Cheers. Still lost him the match, though.

    Two tough Notts losses coming up...including a trademark one-day innings!

  7. #7
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
    Defend Your Castle Champion! Monkey Diving Champion!
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bonn, BRD
    Posts
    23,015
    Second and Third Entry

    Having succeeded reasonably well in the first match with Yorkshire, I tried to get to more of the guys on the way back to Leeds. That turned out to be somewhat of a challenge. Most of them seemed happy enough to crack jokes about whales about two minutes and then turned to other people, so the bus trip home was pretty boring to say the least. Training the next day was okay though - I scored a couple of runs (literally!) and blocked a personal record of balls, upping it to 719 before everyone, including Blain, gave up trying to beat it. Good practice for the first-class match, I thought.

    I happened to be very wrong on matchday in Nottingham. Caught out for 9 by Sidebottom, an old Yorkie, and becoming the only victim of Smith was embarrassing - luckily for me, a lot of players failed in that innings, but Michael Vaughan played a stylish 151 to set up 388 in the innings. Notts made 366 all out in reply, our bowling lacking penetration apart from Silverwood and Blain, who grabbed eight of ten wickets. In the second dig, though, things changed. A quickfire fifty (well, 115 balls) from me, a partnership with Vaughan of 117, which frustrated the Nottinghamshire bowlers no end - despite Ealham, Harris, Sidebottom and Smith digging into us eventually, apart from the England captain who made another century, we scored 263 and well on the way to victory. Chris Silverwood bowled beautifully yet again, taking four for 31, and the last wicket of the day was one I liked a lot: "AJ Harris c H Mork b JAR Blain 1 (22)".

    We stayed at Trent Bridge for another one-dayer, and then discovered a nasty trick the Nottinghamshire groundsman had played on us. Before the game, he had poured soap on the wicket - with predictable results. No batsman apart from Bicknell of Notts made more than 30, only six went to double figures, and the only highlight was Blain's 7-0-26-3 - caused mainly by cover drives to a thankful Vaughan on completely weird bounce. In reply, Shrek (no, not Lehmann...the one who plays for Notts and is actually called that) ripped through the top order, we don't have a middle order, I blocked four balls before hitting the fifth for a single - and then blocked another four balls before edging one to second slip Gallian. Magnificent.

  8. #8
    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
    Breakout Champion!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    ****ing cold and ****ing wet
    Posts
    17,201
    very good






    one thing, though-it's Shreck

  9. #9
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
    Defend Your Castle Champion! Monkey Diving Champion!
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bonn, BRD
    Posts
    23,015
    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    one thing, though-it's Shreck
    Norwegians can't spell.

  10. #10
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad)
    Posts
    36,795
    It's ok, we're even, because we can barely spell Norwegians.
    Last edited by Mr Mxyzptlk; 22-11-2004 at 04:46 PM.

  11. #11
    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
    Breakout Champion!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    ****ing cold and ****ing wet
    Posts
    17,201
    Why did you edit it? Spell Norwegians wrong?
    Last edited by steds; 22-11-2004 at 04:52 PM. Reason: spelled Norwegians wrong

  12. #12
    Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Neil Pickup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Oxford, England
    Posts
    26,881
    Do what I do. Stick to Norwayans.

  13. #13
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Mr Mxyzptlk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad)
    Posts
    36,795
    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    Why did you edit it? Spell Norwegians wrong?
    Something like that...



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •