Yorkies, Porkies and Rats (sod, no whales to hunt)

[Samuel_Vimes]

It was all a bit rushed. Having to rebook my plane from Toco to Leeds in a flash wasn't easy - neither was meeting up with my Yorkshire "mates", who seemed to think that my version of English sounded too Lancastrian to bother with. So the only one I could talk normally to during the first training session was the fellow European, John Blain, who told me that Yorkies did this to every new player. He showed me what county cricket was like by bowling with fearsome swing - and given the way I bat, I blocked everything. This repeated itself about twenty times before John made an offer. "Listen mate, I'm bored of trying to beat your block, hit this one out of the nets and I'll buy ya a round! Given that a Scot had just offered to buy me something, I felt that I had to take the opportunity, and it seemed like an obnoxious half-volley too...so I tried to smack it and somehow got a top edge into Wakefield, by the looks of it.

John was impressed - though I certainly wasn't - and things were looking up. We had a bit of a chat at the pub afterwards, solving the problems of European cricket and generally telling about our own countries, and by the sound of it, I'd already gained a mate in Leeds.

There wasn't a lot of time for chatting, however - the next day, we were on our way to Chelmsford, for the feared Essexians. Everyone kept talking about the Essex bug - someone even faked a "vaccination" so that we wouldn't catch it and become like them.

However, we had come there to play, not to joke (if you could get that into Silverwood's head). Andy Flower won the toss and chose the immigrant side to bat - few sides had probably fielded more foreigners, with one Aussie, two Zimbabweans, one Pakistani, one Yorkie and one Cleethorpesian - a wise choice on a flat patch. Dropping Alistair Cook on six did wonders for my confidence too...he went on to be the rock of the innings with 82 at the top of the order, showing why he was lauded to be batting for England in the not-too-distant future. My mate Johnny was, sadly, having an off-day - he served up too many pies to Grant Flower and Cook, and finished with an economy rate nearing six. He did get Grant in the end, though, being caught at mid off by Matt Wood. Still, Essex made 384 and were in control.

The Yorkies all made starts, but were stopped in our tracks - I made 77 for the first with Michael Vaughan for the first wicket before skying one to Jefferson, and we were all out for 232 after the worst piece of sledging I've ever seen from Pickup, Goughie and Kennett. Somehow, leading by 152 was enough to make us follow-on (mental note: check Wisden for four-day follow-on rules) and even less likely, I started slogging. Only way to describe it. Century up in 236 balls - making partnerships along the way like I usually do for Reds - and carrying the team to 373 all out, a lead of 221. Thanks to Johnny - who grabbed 3 for 30, including Irani, Grant Flower and Stephenson - we had them 92 for 9, only to let Pickup (!!!!!) and Andy Flower slip up with a last wicket partnership of 33, the Ginger scoring what must be a career-best 13 before being caught by yours truly.

Somehow, the man of the match officiator must have been in the same pub as me and Johnny - he certainly smelled of very bad beer when he handed me the award, which probably should have gone to someone else (Silverwood or Johnny, maybe...couldn't have done without that spell of bowling)

[Neil Pickup]

Follow on rules
Five-day match: 200 runs behind
Four-day match: 150 runs behind
Three-day match: 100 runs behind
Two-day match: 50 runs behind

[superkingdave]

Good reading, hope you get pounded by Lancashire though, you should have turned down the chance to play for the in breds, that would have been better

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Originally Posted by Neil Pickup

Follow on rules
Five-day match: 200 runs behind
Four-day match: 150 runs behind
Three-day match: 100 runs behind
Two-day match: 50 runs behind

No defence of your batting prowess? You're usually quick to mention 36.

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Great read Haakon. Keeping up the trend of good diaries this offseason.

[Samuel_Vimes]

Originally Posted by Neil Pickup

Follow on rules
Five-day match: 200 runs behind
Four-day match: 150 runs behind
Three-day match: 100 runs behind
Two-day match: 50 runs behind

Cheers. Still lost him the match, though.

Two tough Notts losses coming up...including a trademark one-day innings!

[Samuel_Vimes]

Second and Third Entry

Having succeeded reasonably well in the first match with Yorkshire, I tried to get to more of the guys on the way back to Leeds. That turned out to be somewhat of a challenge. Most of them seemed happy enough to crack jokes about whales about two minutes and then turned to other people, so the bus trip home was pretty boring to say the least. Training the next day was okay though - I scored a couple of runs (literally!) and blocked a personal record of balls, upping it to 719 before everyone, including Blain, gave up trying to beat it. Good practice for the first-class match, I thought.

I happened to be very wrong on matchday in Nottingham. Caught out for 9 by Sidebottom, an old Yorkie, and becoming the only victim of Smith was embarrassing - luckily for me, a lot of players failed in that innings, but Michael Vaughan played a stylish 151 to set up 388 in the innings. Notts made 366 all out in reply, our bowling lacking penetration apart from Silverwood and Blain, who grabbed eight of ten wickets. In the second dig, though, things changed. A quickfire fifty (well, 115 balls) from me, a partnership with Vaughan of 117, which frustrated the Nottinghamshire bowlers no end - despite Ealham, Harris, Sidebottom and Smith digging into us eventually, apart from the England captain who made another century, we scored 263 and well on the way to victory. Chris Silverwood bowled beautifully yet again, taking four for 31, and the last wicket of the day was one I liked a lot: "AJ Harris c H Mork b JAR Blain 1 (22)".

We stayed at Trent Bridge for another one-dayer, and then discovered a nasty trick the Nottinghamshire groundsman had played on us. Before the game, he had poured soap on the wicket - with predictable results. No batsman apart from Bicknell of Notts made more than 30, only six went to double figures, and the only highlight was Blain's 7-0-26-3 - caused mainly by cover drives to a thankful Vaughan on completely weird bounce. In reply, Shrek (no, not Lehmann...the one who plays for Notts and is actually called that) ripped through the top order, we don't have a middle order, I blocked four balls before hitting the fifth for a single - and then blocked another four balls before edging one to second slip Gallian. Magnificent.

[steds]

very good






one thing, though-it's Shreck

[Samuel_Vimes]

Originally Posted by steds

one thing, though-it's Shreck

Norwegians can't spell.

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

It's ok, we're even, because we can barely spell Norwegians.

[steds]

Why did you edit it? Spell Norwegians wrong?

[Neil Pickup]

Do what I do. Stick to Norwayans.

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Originally Posted by steds

Why did you edit it? Spell Norwegians wrong?

Something like that...