Lies, Betrayal and Videotape

Neil Pickup · 10-10-2004, 08:12 AM

CricketWeb Times
Jerome Brown

[Nixonstown] So, the most oft-disgraced character in the history of the national game has dared to raise his face again in the name of attention - he may have yet another name, but the endemic deceit ridden in his conduct leads everyone from the Twybridge U11 reserve team to the leadership of the Test XI to know his identity, and his blatant guilt.

For those unfamiliar with the Nichanigate saga that led to the second mass walkout in the history of the national side being threatened, the CricketWeb Times will retell. The midst of the team's inaugural World Cup campaign was thrown into disarray when newly called-up, uncapped batsman Nikhil Nichani declared his desire for the team to be defeated. Thanks to the selfless actions of young wicketkeeper Jamee Gray, this betrayal of all that International cricket stands for was exposed, and a display of team solidarity that evoked the spirit of the rebellion led to the removal of Nichani from the World Cup squad and his first "retirement".

Weeks later, Nichani displayed the fact that his previous statement of retirement was just as watertight as the US and UK governments' claims about WMD, or the Titanic post-Iceberg. His return was met with equal derision by members of the Players' Association, who overwhelmingly opposed his inclusion in any side. Following a parting shot of a despicable claim that everyone who thought he supported the CW XI had "no mind", Nichani then retired once more, claiming that he wouldn't return until he was forgiven.

Another lie. This week he crawled back into the sullied limelight, and with disciples Bennett and Jellett, is set to claim that betrayal, deceit, lies and double-crosses are an acceptable part of the nation's cricket community.

The fate of a country is at stake.

AUST_HiTMaN · 10-10-2004, 08:17 AM

Lovely article.

superkingdave · 10-10-2004, 08:43 AM

Its like the lord of the rings with Nikhil as Sauron, Bennett as Saruman and Jellett as ????. Marc can be Frodo, Neil can be Gimli

Samuel_Vimes · 10-10-2004, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The CricketWeb Times

Thanks to the selfless actions of young wicketkeeper Jamee Gray

The Times check their facts thoroughly, I see - he became a wicketkeeper some three seasons after the incident

Nevertheless, can't find any real misconceptions in that article. The evidence is well put forward.

Neil Pickup · 10-10-2004, 11:24 AM

He's always wanted to be a keeper, he was just never selected as one.

marc71178 · 10-10-2004, 11:55 AM

Just a thought but does his 2nd retirement thread still exist?

I seem to remember it was a particularly interesting piece of writing that cleared him of any blame and put it all upon me?

Like I was the one who wanted the XI to lose?

Samuel_Vimes · 10-10-2004, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Pickup

He's always wanted to be a keeper, he was just never selected as one.

So why does this say WK NO then - some time in Dev League seven he made himself available when Eyes was doing poorly and Ryan was inactive.

Anyway, no big deal.

Mr Mxyzptlk · 10-10-2004, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Pickup

[SIZE=5]Another lie. This week he crawled back into the sullied limelight, and with disciples Bennett and Jellett, is set to claim that betrayal, deceit, lies and double-crosses are an acceptable part of the nation's cricket community.

Please ease off Steds and Jellet and whoever else represents Nikhil. It's a job that they have undertaken, not a hobby.

Neil Pickup · 10-10-2004, 03:39 PM

If they want to put themselves in the firing line, then there's no reason why they shouldn't prepared to face the artillery.

Mr Mxyzptlk · 10-10-2004, 03:46 PM

Fair enough.

Neil Pickup · 10-10-2004, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marc71178

Just a thought but does his 2nd retirement thread still exist?

I seem to remember it was a particularly interesting piece of writing that cleared him of any blame and put it all upon me?

Like I was the one who wanted the XI to lose?

This is the retirement thread... nothing accusing you of wanting the XI to lose, just blaming you for everything leading up to his pseudo-retirement, and a comment from Dylan which utterly destroys any credibility he had on the defence.

My favourite bits are the crocodile tears, lies and false promises.

Neil Pickup · 10-10-2004, 04:15 PM

This is my favourite post, mind http://www.cricketweb.net/forum/show...035#post240035

Nichani: "The sad thing all of you have no minds who think I still support CW XI".

Mr Mxyzptlk · 10-10-2004, 08:02 PM

Although it does appear to be very telling, I can't believe that the above quoted was anything but a typo.

Nnanden · 11-10-2004, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Pickup

This is my favourite post, mind http://www.cricketweb.net/forum/show...035#post240035

Nichani: "The sad thing all of you have no minds who think I still support CW XI".

man i remember that... i was shocked! as Liam said, surely it has to be a typo.

marc71178 · 11-10-2004, 01:08 AM

So when it was pointed out, why not use the "edit" facility?

10-10-2004, 08:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
Neil Pickup Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Oxford, England Posts: 26,361	Lies, Betrayal and Videotape CricketWeb Times Jerome Brown [Nixonstown] So, the most oft-disgraced character in the history of the national game has dared to raise his face again in the name of attention - he may have yet another name, but the endemic deceit ridden in his conduct leads everyone from the Twybridge U11 reserve team to the leadership of the Test XI to know his identity, and his blatant guilt. For those unfamiliar with the Nichanigate saga that led to the second mass walkout in the history of the national side being threatened, the CricketWeb Times will retell. The midst of the team's inaugural World Cup campaign was thrown into disarray when newly called-up, uncapped batsman Nikhil Nichani declared his desire for the team to be defeated. Thanks to the selfless actions of young wicketkeeper Jamee Gray, this betrayal of all that International cricket stands for was exposed, and a display of team solidarity that evoked the spirit of the rebellion led to the removal of Nichani from the World Cup squad and his first "retirement". Weeks later, Nichani displayed the fact that his previous statement of retirement was just as watertight as the US and UK governments' claims about WMD, or the Titanic post-Iceberg. His return was met with equal derision by members of the Players' Association, who overwhelmingly opposed his inclusion in any side. Following a parting shot of a despicable claim that everyone who thought he supported the CW XI had "no mind", Nichani then retired once more, claiming that he wouldn't return until he was forgiven. Another lie. This week he crawled back into the sullied limelight, and with disciples Bennett and Jellett, is set to claim that betrayal, deceit, lies and double-crosses are an acceptable part of the nation's cricket community. The fate of a country is at stake. __________________ MSN Messenger: minardineil2000 at hotmail dot com \| AAAS Chairman CricketWeb Black \| CricketWeb XI Captain ClarkeWatch: We're Watching Rikki - Are You? Up The Grecians - Exeter City FC Completing the Square: My Cricket Web Blog

10-10-2004, 08:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
AUST_HiTMaN International Debutant Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perth, Western Australia Posts: 2,260	Lovely article. __________________ eep.

10-10-2004, 08:43 AM	#3 (permalink)
superkingdave Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Inflection Points - 2 Posts: 18,299	Its like the lord of the rings with Nikhil as Sauron, Bennett as Saruman and Jellett as ????. Marc can be Frodo, Neil can be Gimli __________________ Dave Mohammed >>>> You ▲

10-10-2004, 11:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
marc71178 Eyes not spreadsheets Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: England Posts: 56,346	Just a thought but does his 2nd retirement thread still exist? I seem to remember it was a particularly interesting piece of writing that cleared him of any blame and put it all upon me? Like I was the one who wanted the XI to lose? __________________ marc71178 - President and founding member of AAAS - we don't only appreciate when he does well, but also when he's not quite so good! Anyone want to join the Society? Beware the evils of Kit-Kats - they're immoral apparently.

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10-10-2004, 11:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Neil Pickup Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Oxford, England Posts: 26,361	He's always wanted to be a keeper, he was just never selected as one.

10-10-2004, 03:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
Neil Pickup Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Oxford, England Posts: 26,361	If they want to put themselves in the firing line, then there's no reason why they shouldn't prepared to face the artillery.

10-10-2004, 03:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mr Mxyzptlk Request Your Custom Title Now! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad) Posts: 36,795	Fair enough.

10-10-2004, 04:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
Neil Pickup Cricket Web Staff Member / Global Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Oxford, England Posts: 26,361	This is my favourite post, mind http://www.cricketweb.net/forum/show...035#post240035 Nichani: "The sad thing all of you have no minds who think I still support CW XI".

10-10-2004, 08:02 PM	#13 (permalink)
Mr Mxyzptlk Request Your Custom Title Now! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Trinidad and Tobago (Trinidad) Posts: 36,795	Although it does appear to be very telling, I can't believe that the above quoted was anything but a typo.

11-10-2004, 01:08 AM	#15 (permalink)
marc71178 Eyes not spreadsheets Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: England Posts: 56,346	So when it was pointed out, why not use the "edit" facility?

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