Media

[SirBloody Idiot]

Fears of split grow in oil state
EDP gain control over Nixonstown and E. Robbham



Whilst the economic disparity between the east and the west has been overlooked by much international media, it remains a dividing factor in the newly founded oil state of CWLand that today looks on the verge of a dramatic split. After voting in the socialist East Democratic Party (EDP) to office in Nixonstown, the last few months have seen the EDP gain a strangehold over many local elections in the East culminating in them nearly taking office in Robbham yesterday.

Demonstrations over the last few months have shown a very real frustration from eastern cities at the perceived lack of funds to flow into eastern cities despite the burgeoning nation doing massive business through export of raw materials. One disgruntled citizen was quoted as saying that "we're the ones who provide all of it, and the west keep it all to themselves."

After taking 85 per cent of the popular vote in East Robbham yesterday, the EDP were close to claiming a victory in the Robbham district. One official said "this result just makes it more obvious that a unified CWLand is not working. We are being cheated by the west, and the east will not stand for it!"

Some political commentators believe a Civil War is a very real threat, but both sides would want to avoid such a massive conflict to ensure they keep their export markets open. Nevertheless, for the first time in the 21st century it seems that capitalism and socialism will again collide.

EDP independence a reality
Nykänen proclaims the CWLand Democratic Republic



In front of 100,000 frustrated CWLanders, East Democratic Party leader Antti Nykänen proclaimed the independence of the newly formed CWLand Democratic Republic. Following a breakdown of crisis talks between Nykänen and CWLand President Alexander Goldberg in Stedingham, the Finnish-born export said that the relationship was now untenable.

"We came to this island to find opportunity and a chance at a new life, and have been consistently thwarted in our efforts," Nykänen said in front of the massive crowd in Nixonstown. "The government in the West have been more than happy to take from us what they do not deserve, but those pigs will no more be able to abuse the great citizens of the CDR.

"From the banks of the Robbham River, to Edfield, Fraserbury and Goffmouth, the people of the CDR have spoken and will be heard!"

Western theorists are more cynical of Nykänen's motives; citing his Marxist leanings and pro-Soviet rallies that he attended in the late 1970s. Some in cities such as Edfield and Hiniton have already begun to migrate East as they fear an almost Berlin Wall-like structure being erected right across the country.

UN condemns erection of "mega-wall"
West reluctantly accepts Eastern plans



The United Nations have expressed their extreme concern over the erection of a "mega-wall" spanning from Robbham to Edfield as the CWLand Democratic Republic look to sure up their borders and to stem the exodus of citizens to the west. Contrary to the talk of Antti Nykänen, the support for the CDR is not quite as equivocal as the media was lead to believe and forced the CDR forces to set up a wall similar to that of the Berlin Wall - only on a much larger scale.

The wall, which West CWLand has grudgingly refused to oppose the construction of, starts on the east bank of the Robbham River and extends through Webcester and around Edfield at the other coast. Citizens may pass through only if they have express permission of both governments, and will be forced to return through the Webcester checkpoint.

ITF: Politics will play no part on sporting decisions
West and East to battle for Davis Cup spot



Despite requests from West CWLand for East CWLand to be banned from international competition, the Davis Cup committee has insisted that the politics of the oil state will play no part in who will compete in the World Group for season II. CWLand were drawn to play Spain away in the first round starting in March, but recent political developments have made a unified CWLand team untenable.

Instead, the Committee have announced that the two nations will square off in February in the west for the final spot in the World Group; the winner facing Spain and the loser moving into the European Zone.

CWLand Democratic Republic
Matt Bre
Roy Daniels
Alex de Wet
Spas Delev
Jefferson Drake
Yngve Fjermestad
Ryan Fredericks
Jamee Hancianu
Martti Korpinen
Boris Kransky
Daniel LeRusso
Caresh Mahboob
Jarkko Maxum
Hamish McSporran
Mat Mitchell
Suryakant Singh
Randy Smeltz
Vladimir Stakhanov
Sven Svensson
Phoenix Wleft


Federal Republic of CWLand
Randy Banks
Rob Bowenburg
David Briggs
Heath Davis
Marcuss Deane
Pierre Garcon
Kaol Kao
Rick Langley
Jason Lawley
Jack Loughman
Arthur McBride
Jojo Mustard
Sven Oxenstierna
Andy Pimpkins
Brett Read
Scotland Rivers
Pierre Rose
Billy Spleen
Raghav Suryadevara
Lawrence Trumper-Smith
Jean-Paul Valley
Joe Walker

---

This isn't going to stop any one playing doubles with someone stuck in the other country thanks to the wall (Bowenburg/Maxum). The whole idea behind this is to give more than four guys a go at the Davis Cup, and also for a little bit of banter.

And hopefully these flags are better than the last ones (Vimes...).

[Goughy]

WR Echo

Young talent, Koal Kao was delivering care packages in East Robbham when the political brouhaha in CWLand started. Seldom has the old expression "never a good deed goes unpunished" been more true and he now finds himself stranded amongst the grey concrete poverty of the East with no immediate hope of return to his beloved West.

He has, on occasion, been able to catch a glimpse of his family across the wall but he has been unable to cross the newly formed boundary.

Said Kao "I don't want to get into the politics of the situation. That is an issue for others. I just want to play tennis and have a home cooked meal"

His family have been writing to politicians, diplomats and local celebs asking for Kao to be allowed to 'return home' to the West.

Kao, we wish you a safe return to the arms of your loving relatives and a warm and happy home waits for you in the West where you belong.

[SirBloody Idiot]

From the East Robbham Worker:

Young patriot jumps to East CWLand Tennis

EAST Robbham. A young champion of tennis Roy Daniels heroically defied the West to take up residence in the CDR overnight. Daniels, who bravely fought injury for much of last season, escaped to the finest sporting country in the world to join national heroes such as Jefferson Drake and Randy Smeltz in pursuit of glory on the ATP tour this year.

From the WR Echo:

Talented young player left stranded in rescue mission

WEST Robbham. Talented tennis player Roy Daniels was disastrously left incarcerated in the CWLand Democratic Republic after a successful rescue attempt on stranded youngster Koal Kao. Alongside other West CWLand players, Daniels attempted to smuggle Kao across the border and back over the river into West Robbham. Unfortunately for Daniels, his fellow players accidentally left him behind and at the mercy of CDR officials. Subsequent diplomatic channels failed, and he will now represent the East on the world tour.

Slight reshuffle to account for my WRRW captain.

[Samuel_Vimes]

Originally Posted by SirBloody Idiot

And hopefully these flags are better than the last ones (Vimes...).

Yeah, absolutely. (Even if the serp i molot is lacking )

Can say a lot against the communists, but some good old-fashioned propaganda media announcements will be great fun to write

[Simon]

Controversial.

[NUFAN]

Federal Republic of CWLand is surely going to host the 4th Grand Slam, is this correct?

Looking forward to playing doubles with overseas talent Jarkko Kim Jong Il Maxum still.

[Simon]

Fair to say CWDR have the better players. Drake and Smeltz to lead the Davis Cup charge.

[NUFAN]

Originally Posted by Simon

Fair to say CWDR have the better players. Drake and Smeltz to lead the Davis Cup charge.

I don't think so at all. The Ox is the best player from both sides and we've got the talented Davis and Mustard too. Add to that Reid and Rivers plus Bowenburg is in for a huge year one feels.

FRCW is the better nation.

[Simon]

Randy Banks disowned by Uncle Brendon Goff for migrating from Goffton to FRCW

[Blewy]

Originally Posted by Simon

Randy Banks disowned by Uncle Brendon Goff for migrating from Goffton to FRCW

Correct.... TRAITOR!!!!

[Samuel_Vimes]

Oxenstierna in happier times

CWLand's highest ranked player, Sven Oxenstierna, considers a rethink of his October schedule following last year's disappointing autumn performance, which included notable wins over Daniel Páez and Jefferson Drake in a final, but also painful losses to Juan Moreno, Davis Kennedy, Danes Kasper Buur (world No. 105) and Rasmus Olesen, as well as Randy Smeltz in the prestigious end-of-year national championship. Oxenstierna says that the Stockholm tournament is still a priority despite the horror show last year, but also says he has to consider ATP commitments.

"I'd rather like to get some decent training done after the CW Open," Oxenstierna says. "If we're allowed to skip masters without big fines this year, I would like to take 3-4 weeks out of the game and work on some technical details to come back strongly in October and November. If that's not possible, though, I fear the jetlag after competing in Shanghai will be too much to make a decent effort at the Stockholm tournament."

Oxenstierna declined to make an extensive comment following charges that he had "succumbed to financial pressures" when ditching Auckland for the ExxonMobil Open in Qatar in his preparations for the first Slam of the year, but noted that "if I wanted cheap money I'd probably choose a tournament that didn't have most of the top ten in it."

Oxenstierna also affirmed his commitment to CWLand, stating that "Düsseldorf and the Davis Cup are high priorities this year. I had a great Team Cup last year and enjoyed my trips with the team to Germany; even if political developments have weakened the team, we have one of the world's strongest doubles pairings, and should go in as favourites in the play-offs." He named injuries and the as yet unscheduled play-off match as the largest threats to a big team title this year.

When asked about the political problems of his planned doubles pairing with Jamee Hancianu, who has been fronted by the East Robbham regime as a star athlete of the new era, Oxenstierna emphasised that "all of us have friends in the so-called democratic republic. It is important that we keep all ties that the regimes allow alive."

z

[dontcloseyoureyes]

An attractive man.

[SirBloody Idiot]

Bachunelli fancies his chances

Ahead of his finals appearance in tomorrow's Brisbane International, Italian World No. 37 Antonio Bachunelli has told Australian television station Channel Seven that he feels confident that he can win his maiden tour championship.

"I'm feeling very good and playing well," Bachunelli told reporters following his straight sets victory over Australian Rod Bosnar. "Last year was not so good and I [did] not play well every time, but I feel I started really well this week."

Tomorrow's final is his second at ATP level following a 3-6, 4-6 loss to Tiago Matias on the clay of Houston, and the Italian said he believes he has what it takes to beat opponent Randy Smeltz. "He's not started too good, so I know if I can get a big start I am in position to beat him.

"I think my best is better than his, so I need to bring my weapons and if I do I think I will win."

[Simon]

Smeltz Confident

World number 18 Randy Smeltz seemed in a relaxed mood ahead of his ATP Tour final in Brisbane today, when approached by the media and told of his opponents confidence Smeltz replied with "Who the **** is this bloke?" "He's never even won a chook raffle and he claims he has my measure?" Please...

Despite a number of unimpressive performances in the previous two rounds Smeltz is an unbackable favourite with most betting agencies, centrebet.com have Smeltz at $1.20 and Bachunelli a rank outsider at $4.00

[Samuel_Vimes]

Czech No. 1 expected to take title
Faces favoured opponent

Czech Athlete of the Year Radek Špidlá has a very good chance of netting another title and over 3 million koruny as he takes the court with one of his most favoured opponents. Instead of facing Daniel Páez, the World No. 2 and French Open winner, Špidlá will meet the only player of the world top six that has never had the better of the Czech serving champion.

The two-time Masters series champion claimed in a comment to Lidové noviny that "despite beating him four times, I need to be at the top of my game to win a fifth." Špidlá struggled to break the serve of Croat Miroslav Brdar in the semi-final, but took a vital win in the third set; Oxenstierna, mainly noted for his running and low error rate, is likely to give more opportunities in a more open match.

The taciturn, Swedish-born CWLander was tight-lipped about his prospects in the post-match press conference, preferring to talk about his recent performance against Páez. However, that win was slightly tainted as the Spaniard's serve was completely absent; Páez served at slightly less than 45 % in an encounter barely worthy of the semi-final name.

Petr Novák, Lidové noviny