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Thread: Octuple megashep - the poetry of cricket.

  1. #1
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Octuple megashep - the poetry of cricket.

    In honour of this, my 8888th post (get those feet off the ground NOW), DD has decided to show off again.

    <quack> Thanks, LE. Every day or two until I get bored...

    That means it'll last a day or two

    <quack> ...very funny - I shall be revealing to you what a famous poet was TRYING to write instead of the junk he eventually came up with.

    You stole this idea from another thread, didn't you?

    <quack> Naturally.
    Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

  2. #2
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack>

    Shall I compare thee to the great AA?
    Thou art likely to be playing the ball so late.
    Rough winds do shake the bails in Bombay,
    As thou art clean-bowled again through the gate.
    Sometime, the clot Sourav Ganguly whines,
    And often is his regal left-handedness dimmed;
    And every call for runs sometime declined,
    A chance, the fielder's throw to keeper skimmed;
    But this eternal summer, hold thy blade ,
    Thy form has sunk lower than the lowest;
    A blade? Thou might as well just wield a spade.
    Thy running too between the wickets is the slowest;
    So long as umpires breathe, have eyes that see,
    Ajit Agarkar, despite thy ineptitude, we love thee.

    Devil William Shakespeare Ducky

    (2000 - )

  3. #3
    International Captain Deja moo's Avatar
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    Haha

    posted twice.
    twice as nice .
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    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack>

    Half a bat, half a bat,
    The umpire has blundered?
    He could have been out for nought
    Yet made four hundred.
    The Windies had thirtythree
    When they lost Daren Ganga.
    leg before to Freddie
    and the crowd bayed in anger.

    “No whitewash!” one did cry:
    "Score us a hundred"
    As Brian Lara took guard
    He desperately wondered.
    A sighter - perhaps a bye,
    Please bowler, friendly pie
    But Flintoff's no easy guy.
    Then into the valley of Death
    Harmison thundered.

    A wide to right of him?
    A wide to left of him?
    A wide high above him?
    Everyone wondered;
    A shout rings out "Flaming hell -
    "The ball should contain a bell",
    Then everyone caught their breath.
    Into the mouth of hell
    Harmison thundered.

    Lara, the sabre-stroke
    His defence cast asunder.
    The bowler in triumph,
    The Ashington Wonder.

    "Howzat?" to right of him,
    "Howzat?" to left of him,
    "Howzat?" behind him
    Volley’d and thunder’d;
    Lambasted with shot and shell,
    Lara, the hero fell,
    England had fought so well
    Why no finger of Death?
    NOT OUT? Oh, bloody hell!
    Never an easy one
    "If only", Vaughan wondered.

    When will that memory fade
    As the records, to waste, were laid,
    All the world wonder’d?
    The sixes and fours he made!
    Just read the scorebook,
    Lara - four hundred!

    Alfred, Lord Ducky
    Last edited by luckyeddie; 16-09-2004 at 05:13 AM.


  5. #5
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Class, utter class. :
    Messi scores on the rebound.

    Founder of ESAS - Edgar Schiferli, the best associate bowler
    A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
    Member of JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS

    Quote Originally Posted by Adolf Grünbaum
    Is the conduct approved by the gods right ("pious"), because of properties of its own, or merely because it pleases the gods to value or command it?

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    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    The bar has just been raised yet again
    Quote Originally Posted by vic_orthdox View Post
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    Thanks Dick Smith. Will remember to subscribe to your newsletter for more electronic fun facts.

    ****.

  7. #7
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Samuel_Vimes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Langeveldt
    The bar has just been raised yet again
    Damn. No wonder I fell over trying to get in, then.

  8. #8
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack>

    I met a traveller from a Red Rose land
    Who said : Two all-beef pattie-fed legs of stone
    Stand in McDonalds. Near them, in the sand,*
    Half-drunk, a shattered Ponting lies, whose frown,
    And Brad Hogg's lip, and beer in his cold hand
    Tell of a man-monster fed on burgers well,
    Which yet survive, to stamp on these Aussie things,
    Of the runs that mocked them, and the wickets that fell,
    And from those trembling lips these words we hear:
    "His name is Freddiemandias, King of Kings:
    Look upon his works, so Mighty, and despair!"

    No urn remained. For on that day,
    The colossal giant, peerless yet fair
    Did surely wrest the Ashes England's way.

    Percy Bysshe Ducky


    *McDonalds always seem to have a bucket of sand somewhere - probably to put out burning Australian captains
    Last edited by luckyeddie; 18-09-2004 at 08:57 AM.

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    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    We are not worthy!!!

  10. #10
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack>

    If you can eat the bread of those about you
    Even when they are blaming it on you,
    If you can clear the shelf when all men doubt you
    And even finish yesterday's fish stew,
    If your clean plate is ready there and waiting,
    Ready for rainbow trout, or even pies,
    Ignoring the chef's top Michelin rating,
    And yet you're motivated by the size:

    If there's ice-cream - and you eat even faster,
    If you can drink - and not head for the loo
    If you can eat - yet not let rip a blaster
    And not need Number One or Number Two;
    If you can bear to eat though teeth be broken
    And ignore Calories and Kilojoules,
    And eat your food with never a word spoken,
    Think talking should be made against the rules:

    If you're prepared to sacrifice your innings
    Not caring if the game be won or lost,
    So long as you're there at the queue's beginnings
    For lunch is free - the club will bear the cost;
    If you can eat the heart, the nerve, the sinew
    And still be munching though your team have gone,
    And still you say that there is nothing in you
    Except your tapeworm saying "Now, hold on!"

    If you can wave to crowds who want to hurt you,
    And eat those pellets from the rabbit's hutch,
    If you think avarice is still a virtue
    If you can tell a flavour by its touch,
    If you can eat twelve shellfish in a minute
    And crunch your way through the shell of a clam,
    To save the time you'd spend walking to bin it,
    Guess what, my friend? Your name is Inzamam.

    Farmyard Duckling
    Last edited by luckyeddie; 19-09-2004 at 02:59 AM.

  11. #11
    International Coach Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    Absolute class.

  12. #12
    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    <quack>

    I fell asleep once in the crowd,
    The play that day devoid of thrills,
    When all at once, though head be bowed,
    I saw an Aussie munching pills.
    I can't be sure with eyes like these
    But mark my words - they weren't dried peas.

    A telephone rang in my mind -
    The pitch report was on the way.
    If overheard, he could be fined
    Or worse - be not allowed to play.
    But no, the talk was of romance -
    'Tossing', a word I heard, perchance?

    "Can't bowl, can't throw" I heard that day
    As clear as ought, it seemed to me.
    Scott Muller on my mind did prey -
    Did Warney say those things of he?
    I can't agree with words like that
    For Muller also cannot bat.

    I woke - the rain poured from the sky.
    The umpires both, in pensive mood
    Said "Let's go off - the end is nigh
    For lunch is due. Let's have some food."
    What happened to Shane's weather skills?
    At least it helps the daffodils.

    Devilliam Duckworth
    Last edited by luckyeddie; 20-09-2004 at 10:06 AM.

  13. #13
    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    LMAO

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    International Regular chris.hinton's Avatar
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    Brilliant

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    International Captain Sudeep's Avatar
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    Classic DD...
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