Tommy 'ansell Magical Mystery Tour, June 2004
Dear learned ('learn-ed' - for my antipodean brethren) colleagues
it is with great joy and delight that I am able to report on my recent and profoundly successful tour of Middlesex, Sussex and minor counties. As a student of the Tommy 'ansell hybrid of the great game (that's cricket BTW), it was with great delight that I discovered in the on-line Bishop's-Sodsbury Gazette, a small, tasteful advertisement, littered with spelling and grammatical errors, for a 5 week tour of the UK and north-western Europe, paying homage to the cricketing life and times of the great T.K.D.T.G. 'ansell (or 'Tommy conny' as he was more affectionately known).
Departing early June, the agenda was thaction-packed. We (there were at least 5 of us on the tour at different times) were first taken to the birthplace of Thomas Keith Damian Tobias Geoffrey 'ansell; born out of wedlock on the 27th of May, 1953, in town of Weltshire (pop. 321, mostly pig farmers, philatelists and atheists ministers). Little known fact: apparently, the proliferation of forenames is in honour of his mother’s previous suitors. From here, we were shown the backstreets and cow paddocks where a young Tommy developed his passion and flare for game not oft’ seen in this part of Britain. The ground where he first graced the cricketing public with his unique brand of doggedly ('dogg-ed-ly' - for my antipodean brethren), dour, defensive left-hand forward blocks and nicks backward of point, was bathed in a cold, awe-inspiring mist on the crisp June morn’ whence we arrived. It was on this ground on a cool day in July,1967, that the young Tommy first showed his marvellous array of strokes to flay the visiting North Mymm’s 5th IX (two chaps phoned in sick that morning apparently) attack for spectacular 17 off 7 times as many balls, to lead his Weltshire side to an imposing target of 7 for 102 off their 53 overs in rather trying conditions. Later that afternoon, the audience saw their first glimpses of the multi-facetted talent that is T.K.D.T.G. 'ansell, when, after injury plagued the Hedgehogs’ opening, first and second change bowling attack, he was thrown the ball by his late captain, Geoffrey Davidson-Sidebottom of Hove Albion III. At this moment, Tommy’s unique brand of left-arm back-spin and modest thoffbreak bowling came to the four. With his side facing a crushing defeat, tommy dramatically reduced the Mymm’s batting line-up to a precession finishing with 1 for 39 off his 3 overs, ultimately saving his side from an innings defeat.
From here we were taken to the technical colleague in Sussex where Tommy completed a Higher National Certificate in latex manufacturing and for whom Tommy lead their previously modest third league side to unprecedented success in the Bovril and Marmite 9th division Sussex and Channel Islands cricket league in the summers of 1973-74-76 (*1975 saw Tommy take a break from the game he loved to pursue his other great love, pharmaceutical bandaging). This period was the most prolific of Tommy’s (some may say: ‘oh-so-short’) career where he compiled several scores in the low 20s often at a strike rate in excess of 37.375 and shrewdly captain a side once considered to be brimming with enthusiasm but little else.
Week three of our journey took us across ‘the tidal pool’ to the fairer, flatter and remarkably uninteresting shores of the Netherlands. It was here Tommy carved out a semi-professional career with Waddenzee CC (the Dykes) as opening batsmen/nightwatchman and part-time back-spin bowler: 597 runs @ 19.2 and 31 wkts @ 48.5 in 5 seasons I think, speaks for itself. Highlights in this leg of our journey took us to the site of arguably Tommy’s greatest innings, 42 n.o. on a grassless matting deck against the ferocious Utrecht third XI opening attack, featuring a willowy left-tharmer by the name of Jan Ulrich van der Gaamenshous. For 3 furious hours the pair battled with Tommy taking the honours after nudging his team to 97 all out at the close of play.
Whilst Tommy’s dalliance with Middlesex Haddock and Fries second XI was glossed over at trip’s end, I can recommend this tour without a shadow-of-a-doubt (©Michael Housebricks, season 2001-2002) to any keen disciples of the Tommy ‘ansell forward defensive philosophy. Any bookings can be made through a tremendous chap of extremely high calibray, Daniel M.P. Waters and his promotional group AIG International -
Daniel.Waters@aig.com.
Should anyone want further information, please don’t hesitate to enter into some sort of dialogue.
Regards
Terry Yorath
Position Midfielder
Born 27 Mar 1950, Cardiff (Wales)
Height 177 cm
Weight 69 kg
International Caps Wales: 59 full
Club From To Apps Goals Sold for
Leeds United
01 Apr 1967 01 Aug 1976 196 12 £125000
Coventry City
01 Aug 1976 01 Aug 1979 99 3 £300000
Tottenham Hotspur
01 Aug 1979 01 Jun 1982 48 1
Bradford City
01 Dec 1982 01 May 1986 27 0 £0 (my lowest point in my career)
Swansea City
01 May 1986 01 Jun 1987 1 0