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comical occurrences in club cricket

Hurricane

Hall of Fame Member
I remember one game from my playing days many years ago. I was fielding in at point, where I managed to drop the opposition captain twice in 3 overs, both simple chances. I was then banished to the outfield at deep midwicket, only to catch him the next over, one-handed over my head, falling backwards. The guy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was definitely laughing!
I remember once I dropped a catch so I was sent to the midwicket boundary. There was a bit of a slope that made it hard to walk in so I came in a bit from the rope. Suddenly the ball was coming towards me but the slope screwed me up and the ball went over my head one bounce for four. Naturally, as you do, I lied and said it was a six to save face, but no one believed me and I was moved to fine leg shortly thereafter.
 

Hurricane

Hall of Fame Member
Another post on a more serious yet also lighthearted note.

Some lessons I have learned:

1) Never tell your partner that it is time to accelerate the scoring. Never ever. If your partner could bat any faster he would be. Inevitably the partner will panic after a talking to and call you through for some nonsense runs and run you out.

2) There are two types of team speeches. Ones which use the word "****" a lot and have fire and brimstone. These typically precede a loss. The other type are speeches where specific tactics are mentioned (other than "lets get off to a safe start") and these usually predicate a win.

3) Everyone has a superstition. One fellows was to feed the ducks before the game. I used to get rides from him and we would drive miles out of our way to visit the local pond so he could feed them. He was quite useless so I don't know how the luck was helping him. In one inning he scored 4 from 40 overs batting first in a limited overs match and everyone hated him afterwards ducks or no ducks.

4) Never upset the umpire. The opposition captain sent one of the professional umpires home before our premier match because of "perceived bias". The other umpire was incensed at how his friend was treated and proceeded to cheat in our favour for the entire game which was just as well. We rolled them for 17 on a dire pitch. We were soon 7 runs for 5 wickets and then I was plumb in front but he wouldn't give it. We got the winning runs 8 wickets down. The only time I have hit the winning runs in my life. I finished 14* chasing 18.

5) Always run when you are not sure it is a boundary. I was on my way to a fifty and the other guy was smacking it too. He then went on the back foot and creamed it towards the extra cover boundary. I ran down the pitch, but he didn't move. I yelled run, he stood still frozen with me right beside him inside the batters crease with him yelling. The fielders gathered the ball a foot inside the boundary and I scarperred back to the bowlers end but couldn't make it.
I was not best pleased.
 

Smudge

Hall of Fame Member
I once dropped a regulation catch at regulation midwicket - one so easy that the bowler had already given the batsman a send off.
 

khodder

School Boy/Girl Cricketer
I played in the game mentioned early on in this peice

SunLive - Greerton and Cadets to meet - The Bay's News First

I happened to be one of the "Greerton Top 3 removed for ducks". Trent finished the game with 8-38, but hit the stumps on at least 15 odd occasions, of the 38 I'd guess a good 25-30 of them were extras including multiple cases of no-balls hitting the stumps then flying down to the boundary for four.

The best of the bunch our number 11, who couldn't bat at the best of times strides out to the crease to face Boult. First ball - Bowled, but wait the umpire has his arm outstretched, a no ball. Second Ball - Bowled, Our Number 11 takes the obligatory swing at the free hit, he misses, mostly because he was about half a pitch late on it. Third ball - Action replay, stumps flayed again, this time to end our chase.
 

Daemon

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@cane

#1 is so true, especially with guys who can't bat.

Pretty much the only thing I've heard from my partner that has been useful for me is a reminder to watch the ball. For the most basic rule of batting it's pretty damn easy to forget.
 

Gnske

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Many stand out over my brief times, but one day stands out for me at least. Last over before innings change, opposition brings on a real Mark Cosgrove to bowl some medium pacers.

Bloke at the other end is this long time club wicketkeeper with a face like a beaver with the worst dentist in the world, totally uncouth bloke in every part of life. Trying to pile on as many runs as possible, to mostly failure so far. So I tell him in no uncertain terms and in slightly more vicious language that this slightly obese chap has to go to the fences.

First ball is this filthy dragged down short ball, swing and miss. Second ball and third ball, long hops that took about an eon to reach the batsman, no runs. Fourth ball, plays a filthy full toss into the gap but doesn't take the run for some reason and I air my displeasure. Fifth ball, he leaves the ****ing thing. Final ball, plays into the gap for what I see as a clear single, I'm 7/8ths of the way down the pitch before I realise he hasn't moved a whisker and is leaning on his bat. As I turn around to see my stumps being destroyed he can only muster, "Are you ****ing stupid?"

As if the run out wasn't enough, I was subject to some of the most delightful bullying and colourful adjectives as I walked off in disgrace.

Oh and I dropped a sitter in the second innings that impacted my face and left a seam mark on my forehead for about a week, I can still hear their bench almost in tears of joy today.

Worst day of my life.
 

kiwiviktor81

International Debutant
I remember one game from my playing days many years ago. I was fielding in at point, where I managed to drop the opposition captain twice in 3 overs, both simple chances. I was then banished to the outfield at deep midwicket, only to catch him the next over, one-handed over my head, falling backwards. The guy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was definitely laughing!
I had a match like this as well. Dropped two absolute sitters in the space of two overs, then in the next two overs made two flying Mark Greatbatch-style one-handed catches inches from the ground.
 

SteveNZ

Cricketer Of The Year
I've seen a former international bowl an orange after the tea interval, the same guy try and celebrate a wicket with a massive bloodied nose that no one wanted to go near (he picked it a lot) and another guy whose played a little bit of FC that upon being dismissed, walked across about 3 ovals, climbed a tree and sat there with his pads on for a while. And for those who know Vic Park in AKL, it is a favourite haunt for homeless people and you generally share a changing room with them. One of them celebrated a one-day semi-final win with us, and another left the dead skin scrapings off his feet on the steps outside, which an opposition player put his pie in. This player had been in the field all day and was HUNGRY, and did not want to believe his pie had bum's dead skin on it.

But by far the funniest was a batsman being dismissed lbw, one of those shocking, SHOCKING ones you get in club cricket every now and then. We could hear him unleashing in the changing rooms under the clubrooms. Later it was found he'd teed off on a can of the line marking paint, which had gone all over the walls, all over his pads and bat as well. His side were rolled for about 60 from memory, and he had to come out to bat in the second dig with white paint all over his bat (unsure why he didn't borrow one). Hilarious. And scored runs despite the constant murmur of giggling, so fair play to him. Oh and he had to stay after play to clean up his mess and fork out for damage to something else that broke.
 
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Nate

You'll Never Walk Alone
Nate, I can wholly understand why you gave up on cricket.
:laugh:

I found this even funnier than the dire ending.
I don't often tell stories, but those are generally well received by anyone with a cricketing interest, and often relived by those I was playing with when we catch-up.

I've played a handful of social 20/20s since, which have been enjoyable and comparatively uneventful, and are probably more appropriate to my standard anyway. :)
 

Shady Slim

International Coach
opposition brings on a real Mark Cosgrove
description of the year

****************

once i was scoring against a team who, good bunch of blokes they were, gave everyone a bowl. so we were about five or six down for ninety odd when they bring on this absurdly tall guy, who holds the ball like you would hold a tennis ball before you serve it, just clasps the thing.

he tries to irfan out a bouncer with the full palm grip, a runup of about two steps and exactly zero momentum. he windmills it to pretty much the base of his feet. it doesn't get to the batsman. no ball. and so what do you think he does? he tries it again. this time it bounces once and goes off the pitch.

one ball actually lands and the batsman blocks it. fair enough, since it's a two day game and he's our number three trying to bat through, wouldn't want to throw away his wicket.

so now we are three balls i, but one is legitimate. five balls to come.

apparently though the number five means fourteen.

fourteen balls later the guy has finished his over, which goes for, coincidentally, the same amount of runs it took in balls. frickin' seventeen.
 

Daemon

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Got bowled off a free hit once and started walking off. Keeper took the stumps out before I realised what I had done. Wasn't funny at the time I assure you.

Also got hit on the head while at deep square leg when a batsman on the neighbouring ground smashed a six. Again, not funny at the time..or now for that matter, but my teammates assured me it was pretty hilarious.
 

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