Rank your country's commentary team

[morgieb]

For Channel 9:

Richie Benaud 6.5 - the doyen of the game, cricket won't feel the same once he's gone. Most inoffensive on the box, but he's been pretty much part-time since I started really following cricket, and he doesn't add that much.
Bill Lawry 5 - meh. You know what you get with Lawry, and you deal with it. At least he has a clear love of the game, which is more than what we can say about a lot of people (yes, I'm talking about you James Brayshaw)
Ian Chappell 6 - mixed. Probably the best eye of the game in the box but can come across as a dick and is biased (though in a different, less offensive way to most of the comm box).
Mark Taylor 7.5 - probably the best of the 'regulars', doesn't say anything dumb and has a decent grasp of the game. Not outstanding or anything, but solid.
Ian Healy 5 - much improved (maybe Greig's death means he's toned down the biasness), but his insights still aren't that great.
Shane Warne 4 - actually gives good insights, but talks overly in cliches. Patchy.
Mark Nicholas 6 - meh. Don't really understand why he seems to be hated, in general he seems pretty good. Maybe I need to watch non-Test matches though.
Michael Slater 5.5 - somewhat over-rated. Can't really say why but he kinda annoyed me, probably because he talks so much.
James Brayshaw 2 - urgh. Doesn't add anything and is too blokey. Stick to footy!
Brett Lee 4.5 - meh. Largely focuses on the Cricket Show, isn't much of a commentator IMO.
Glenn McGrath 2 - **** voice, and doesn't add much. Not a fan.
Michael Hussey 7 - early days, but he seems pretty good. Talks too fast though IMO.

 

[OverratedSanity]

Gavaskar - Biased **** 2/10

Shastri - Biased **** who spews clichés for fun 1/10

Sivaramakrishnan- Biased **** who spews clichés for fun, only somehow even worse than aforementioned ****s. Absolute bottom of the barrel. Has fewer redeeming qualities than the fungus on the bottom of the barrel. Toilet /10

Bhogle- A little less biased but still ****. A less irritating mark Nicholas. Quite harmless 5/10

Arun Lal- **** 1/10

Kapil Dev - **** but excellent for 6/10

Laxman - Love him but he doesn't belong in the combox 3/10

Dravid- Excellent. Makes good observations, knows when to shut up, talks sense, is frank but doesn't come off as biased 8.5/10

Ganguly- Surprised me by how fair he is most of the time. Speaks his mind, and like Dravid, talks sense most of the time. 7.5/10

Sidhu - Like Danny morrison, only less infuriating and actually funny on the odd occasion 7/10

 

[Prensel]

Danny Morrison 10/10

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

The only Kiwi commentator worth his salt is Jeremy Coney.

Though I did entertain the 100 people at the Wetspak stadium today with my Danny Morrison impressions.

 

[GIMH]

I've not heard McGrath on TV but tbf I think he's decent on TMS

 

[Furball]

The only Kiwi commentator worth his salt is Jeremy Coney.

Though I did entertain the 100 people at the Wetspak stadium today with my Danny Morrison impressions.

It irritates the **** out of me that on Sky we get Coney for whenever New Zealand play anyone else like South Africa, and he's nowhere to be seen when England play them.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Anyway, my rankings for NZ:

Danners Danny Morrison - 0/10 HYPERBOLE!!! MAXIMUM!!! AGHHGIYFA(TR*FIHV! **** OFF.
Simon Doull - 4/10 Occasionally says something insightful. Generally full of ****.
Craig McMillan - 2/10 Stick to coaching. Adds nothing.
Ian Smith - 2/10 It'd be preferable to have the old (and dead) Rhodie in the commentary box, because Smithy is full of trite soundbites and bugger all else. Frankly, he's better as a sideline rugby guy.
Mark Richardson - 5/10 Cynical but acceptable. Has a beguiling sense of gallows humour at times which suits the currently risible NZ cricket team
Shane Bond - X/10 Bland bland bland. Hard to score someone who says nothing.

 

[Maximas]

I've not heard McGrath on TV but tbf I think he's decent on TMS

Never shuts up about the fast bowler/batsmen (im)balance of ex-players in the comm box on channel 9 and he sounds like he's about to cry whenever he talks, not great IMO

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Anyway, my rankings for NZ:

Danners Danny Morrison - 0/10 HYPERBOLE!!! MAXIMUM!!! AGHHGIYFA(TR*FIHV! **** OFF.
Simon Doull - 4/10 Occasionally says something insightful. Generally full of ****.
Craig McMillan - 2/10 Stick to coaching. Adds nothing.
Ian Smith - 2/10 It'd be preferable to have the old (and dead) Rhodie in the commentary box, because Smithy is full of trite soundbites and bugger all else. Frankly, he's better as a sideline rugby guy.
Mark Richardson - 5/10 Cynical but acceptable. Has a beguiling sense of gallows humour at times which suits the currently risible NZ cricket team
Shane Bond - X/10 Bland bland bland. Hard to score someone who says nothing.

Simon Doull is terrible. Really biased whenever we play NZ.

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Waz - 5/10 I enjoy his anecdotes and his insight on swing but apart from that he average/bad.
Ramiz - 4/10 He is Shastri's twin and I am surprised that as an ex International cricketer he doesn't know the difference between an in-swinger and one that seams off the pitch. He also gets the play's name wrong on occasion.
Azhar Mahmood - 1/10 He shouldn't be commentating.
Waqar - 3/10 Some insightful comments (again like Waz on the bowling) but not very good.

Has anyone ever heard Imran comment? How was he?

 

[Shri]

Dravid 8/10
Ganguly 8/10
Kumble 7/10 based on the one time I heard him some time back

Other do not exist and are definitely ****ty myths.

 

[Red]

For Channel 9:

Richie Benaud- 9: Was the king in his prime. Still gets what makes good commentary, and more importantly, what doesn't.

Bill Lawry- 8: Love Bill, especially when the game gets exciting. Really captures what exciting cricket is about appropriately.

Ian Chappell- 7: Good insight and knows the game better than most. Can be overly critical with his "I was a captain once" thing.

Mark Taylor- 8: Tubs is good. And improving.

Ian Healy- 5.5: Can be funny, but can be very annoying.

Shane Warne- 3: More interested in the fact that he is Shane Warne than the cricket that's being played

Mark Nicholas- 3: Like him as a host. Hate him as a commentator. Gets way too excited over pretty mundane stuff.

Michael Slater- 8: When he sticks to the basics, he is great imo. Gets a bit carried away sometimes though.

James Brayshaw- I'll give him a chance before rating him, like his radio footy commentary and he's a polished host.

 

[flibbertyjibber]

Sky

Ian Botham - 5/10 Only says anything interesting when goading the crims. Very rarely comes up with anything constructive.

David Gower 7/10 Brilliant anchor man but not as good in comms box.

Mike Atherton 9/10 Him and Nasser are comfortably the best members of the team. Knows his stuff

Nasser Hussain 9/10 Constructive, gives decent opinions and explains the reason for them.

Andrew Strauss 4/10 Still early days but he is a bit boring.

Shane Warne 2/10 Total wanker.

David Lloyd 7/10 Can be funny but the joker routine does wear thin after a while.

Ian Ward 8/10 Should be used far more, very good and getting better.

Michael Holding 7/10 Love his voice though sometimes talks utter nonsense.

 

[Red]

I only hear Holding when Aust play Eng in Eng but he always seems overly negative about everything. It's masked well by his voice though....

 

[SJS]

Dravid 8/10
Ganguly 8/10
Kumble 7/10 based on the one time I heard him some time back

Other do not exist and are definitely ****ty myths.

I like Dravid and Ganguly right on top. They have brought a modicum of respectability to the abysmal levels of cricket commentators in our cricket-mad nation. Kumble hash't done enough for one to rate him. I would like to add a great cricketer and a very fine commentator who, sadly, is so uncomfortable speaking English that one misses his insights for the poor language. He does Hindi commentary but then that does not reach the world and in India remains in the rural areas - Kapil Dev. Of course, good language is considered by many as an integral part of good commentary so . . .

Amongst non-cricketers, the highly pretentious and completely enamoured by his own language - Harsha Bhogle has made the hold over the position so tight (hardly deserved) that we may never see another one again. In India the longer you stay in a position (and the more the money it starts bringing in) the more difficult it is to remove you. This applies to so many in so many fields at levels so close to the highest that it sucks like nothing else . . . Once you have been in a position for long it is assumed that you are very good thus although everyone else around the world can see how terrible you are. Conversely, those who are dropped by the wayside are quickly forgotten and no one amongst the masses wants to bat for them. This again applies at all levels, in cricket most of all to the players themselves. Power, position and money in our country are synonymous with quality and class.

By the way, just slightly off topic, one is highly amused by the sudden deification of Rohit Sharma by the electronic media (and even cricket chat room crowds). He has been vilified no end for so long, not for the attitude/mental issues which would have been justified to some extent, but to his talent, class and caliber as a batsman. Here at CW too he has been ridiculed by so many. One wonders what they think now. The fact is he was always as good a young batsman as any that we have seen coming down from the junior levels and better than most barring SRT himself and yet . . .

 

[Zinzan]

My Channel 9 ratings;

Bill Lawry - 9/10 - Class act. Was by far my favouite commentator in the 90s in spite of the fact he was biased at times. Nobody else can make cricket sound as exciting.
Richie B - 8/10 Should have retired from the box in about 2008, still the voice of cricket in my lifetime.
Ian Chappell - 7.5/10 Provides wonderful insights into what a player would actually be thinking. Clearly a great cricketing brain. With Benaud, the least biased of the Aussie commentators.
Tubby Taylor - 7-7.5/10 When he takes his eye-patch off he's generally pretty decent. Another who obviously has an excellent cricketing brain.
Shane Warne - 6/10 - Don't mind Warnie at all to be honest. Find him pretty fair most of the time.
Michael Slater - 4/10 - Way too much of a cheerleader for the Aussie team for my liking, but at least has half a brain in his head
Ian Healy - 2/10 - See Slater, by without even half a brain
Mark Nicolas 2/10- Obvious cringe-worthy kind of Man/woman (it's hard to describe) but there's something remarkably feminine about the guy.
James Brayshaw - 1/10 - This guy is friggen awful with a capital A. How the hell did he get the job?

 

[Daemon]

By the way, just slightly off topic, one is highly amused by the sudden deification of Rohit Sharma by the electronic media (and even cricket chat room crowds). He has been vilified no end for so long, not for the attitude/mental issues which would have been justified to some extent, but to his talent, class and caliber as a batsman. Here at CW too he has been ridiculed by so many. One wonders what they think now. The fact is he was always as good a young batsman as any that we have seen coming down from the junior levels and better than most barring SRT himself and yet . . .

CW has never rated his ODI game and fairly so, while a fair few advocated his test selection and have been proved right so far.

I don't think there was anyone who suggested he wasn't fit for Test cricket.

 

[Riggins]

I know I am in the vast minority (maybe the only one) on here but I really like Brayshaw.

 

[ajdude]

can somebody from india please rate sidhu a 0 for me? he just said that the crowd is "dancing like popcorn on a hot fire"

 

[Daemon]

Bhogle is an interesting one. He's a massive cricket nerd and has obviously watched a lot of the game. He remembers matches, stats and key performances really well and brings them up multiple times when relevant. He knows all the common arguments about tests vs odis, stats being misleading, atg arguments and all that other common sense stuff. He speaks pretty well too, though his numerous attempts at humour are pretty sad.

imo it's just that he's perfected the art of speaking a lot without actually saying anything and majority of the time he does just that. He also doesn't have that player's insight or any in depth knowledge on the technical aspects of the game which could bring his commentary up another level and actually result in him saying something interesting for once.

4/10, -1 for being the BCCI's bitch.