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Summary of last two weeks in World cricket in 100 words or less

wiff

First Class Debutant
I have been in the wilderness for the last two weeks on holiday without any electronic devices. I know, scary, right? I have a bazillion emails from work so I don't have time to troll through pages of sports stuff and forums. If anyone can summarise the last two weeks I will be internally grateful and enlightened at the same time.
 

Riggins

International Captain
Dermo has been good. Ajd00d not so much. Benchmark has been a bad boi. PEWS won plenty of dosh. Burgey made 96. Nothing of importance happened in the Shield matches. No other cricket is noteworthy.
 

Adders

Cricketer Of The Year
Well you'll be pleased to know wiff you picked a good couple of weeks to be away as there really hasn't been too much going on of excitement in the cricket world. Quick snapshot as follows.........

- India and Australia have been engaged in some form of contest involving a bat and a ball. Some have said the games do resemble cricket in parts but tbh.......I've got nfi what they were playing.

- SA/Pakistan just drew a test series 1-1.........again I'm at a loss to credit the "series" with too much significance on account of the fact it was over before it begun.

- Bangladesh/NZ - battle of the minnows (sorry Kiwis :p) Drew a 2 test series 0-0.......yeah I know, only in cricket. Then the Tigers won the ODI's 3 zip. Sorry, like you I didn't watch any of this so best not to comment off cricinfo:dry:
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
I wouldn't call the cricket which has been played over the past two weeks "cricket". It has been akin to the revolutionary game that esteemed member "Lokomotiv" has been suggesting whereby batsmen get to regularly flagellate the recalcitrant bowler around the outfield whilst chirpily regailing the crowds with a hearty rendition of "And the band played Waltzing Matilda".

I think this more accurately summarises the past two weeks in cricket than Adders' attempt - steeped in factual accuracy though it may be.
 

Agent Nationaux

International Coach
I wouldn't call the cricket which has been played over the past two weeks "cricket". It has been akin to the revolutionary game that esteemed member "Lokomotiv" has been suggesting whereby batsmen get to regularly flagellate the recalcitrant bowler around the outfield whilst chirpily regailing the crowds with a hearty rendition of "And the band played Waltzing Matilda".

I think this more accurately summarises the past two weeks in cricket than Adders' attempt - steeped in factual accuracy though it may be.
But they weren't wearing shorts.
 

Red

The normal awards that everyone else has
Watson might be injured but will make a heroic recovery to be ready for the first test and lose us the Ashes in the first four tests by making no runs and not bowling so that he can "concentrate on batting" and then in the last test he'll make 140 to ensure he is selected for whoever we play in the next series.
 

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