Botham, total ****.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.
Coz **** commentators constantly display their ****ness on air
Keep thinking it'll be alright if I just get on the road
If I run I can free my worried mind
Keep thinking of the day I die when I lose my heavy load
But I wouldn't want to leave you behind
Botham. Awful commentary.
'It is hard to recall a batsman quite so serene, so unrushed, so unflappable.' Chris Ryan on ... look to the left. Ahhhh.
Round of 16, Battle 8 Results:
WG Grace - 4
Ian Botham - 11
"The Australian cricket captain is the Prime Minister Australia wishes it had. Steve Waugh is that man, Michael Clarke is not." - Jarrod Kimber
RIP Fardin Qayyumi and Craig Walsh - true icons of CricketWeb.
Round 3: The Quarrelsome Quarters
1. Ravi Shastri
2. Roy Gilchrist
3. Mohammad Asif
4. Hansie Cronje
5. Harbhajan Singh
6. Salim Malik
7. Javed Miandad
8. Ian Botham
Salim Malik (Pakistan)
- Darth Sidious of match-fixing
- Throwing away a 100-Test career of somewhat decent batsmanship to do so
- Demanding a job as Pakistan batting coach after all this miscellany
- Safe pair of hands
- Rashid Latif resigned in protest after hearing about Malik's lobbying for coach, then re-applied after Malik was told to **** off by PCB
"One could not really imagine how a player of his apparently good nature and conduct fall into such a sinister game of making illegal millions." Col. Rafi Nasim
"You know better than me." - Malik when asked if cricket in the 1990s was corrupt
"My first instinct was disgust that this low-life of a prick thought that loyalty to my country was for sale." - Steve Waugh after receiving an offer from Malik, before a match that Australia lost by one wicket
"Because they are white, I am sorry to say, and I am black I am out of cricket and they're still playing. There are many incidents. A couple of other white people are still playing. All the fault is with the Asian side." - Malik alleging racism in sport
"It was just like we are today," he said. "We were sitting in a room together...but the thing about white players is you can't trust them. The bastards have weird minds." - Malik proving racism in sport
"After being stuffed by 157 runs, Intikhab thought a group hug was in order. Latif told the court he was willing to embrace Malik but Malik 'did not respond positively.'" - Gideon Haigh
"A Test cricketer like me doesn't need any coaching course or any certificate. I have the ability to help the batsmen overcome their problems, which have been the main hurdle in team's performance." - Salim offers to help players cheat more efficiently
Harbhajan Singh (India)
- Obnoxious weed
- Monkeygate, Sydney 2008
- Murali's third bastard?
- Breaking Sreesanth's feelings
- Declines to walk after being clean bowled
- Arrested by NZ Customs
- Spitting, monkey noises at crowd
"Tera maa ki" - You're a monkey (Australian English)/Your mother was delectable (Punjabi)
"Harbhajan whooped fanatically like a slobbering, delirious hyena, picking apart a victim crushed by both the loss in Delhi and by Laxman's spirited resistance in the first-innings here in Ahmedabad." - CricketWeb feature by George Roberts
"His record speaks for itself in cricket. There is a certain line that you can kind of go to and then you know where you push it and he just pushes it all the time. That's why he has been charged more than anyone that's ever played in the history of cricket." - Matthew Hayden
"Harbhajan is unfit today because he decided to raise his hand now and excuse himself." - Sanjay Manjrekar
"Once a chucker, always a chucker." - Raj Singh Dungarpur, former BCCI president
"He just had a bit of extra fluid in his mouth and spat it out." - BCCI defends Harbhajan's spitting charge
Last edited by LongHopCassidy; 26-03-2013 at 11:10 PM.
Fascist Dictator of the Heath Davis Appreciation Society
Supporting Petone's Finest since the very start - Iain O'Brien
Also Supporting the All Time #1 Batsman of All Time Ever - Jacques Kallis and the much maligned Peter Siddle.
Vimes tells it how it is:
In defence of my quoted post from many a moon ago, Salim Malik was a thoroughly nice chap when he played for Essex.
I know he was a cheat an' all, but he's not all bad.
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