Battle of the Infamous

[grecian]

Probably think Sree is a bigger ****, but going to go Ponting, as it will piss more people off if he wins, and in essence I feel that conveys the Xmas spirit for me.

 

[Cabinet96]

Lillee.

 

[Satyanash89]

Sreesanth is an annoying little rash but nothing major.
Ponting and Lillee were both huge douchebags, but i vote Ponting

I didnt see lillee live while ive watched Punter whinge with umpires, abuse Srinath after getting beaten by a good bouncer, cry like a baby when he was runout by Pratt, demonstrate to Benson how to raise his finger, and somehow inexplicably never really got punished by officials adequately. Thank god he was an ATG batsman or id completely hate his guts.

 

[Michaelf7777777]

Sreesanth

 

[cnerd123]

Pontng

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Results - Round 1, Battle 14

No votes for 24 hours, so I'm going to call it.

Ricky Ponting - 11
Sreesanth - 8
Dennis Lillee - 3

Next battle tomorrow, Boxing Day pints not conducive to writing hit pieces.

Edit: quality ****heads incoming.

 

[smash84]

wow.....Ponting did manage to beat Sreesantha.....looks like Teja's marketing worked

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Round 1, Battle 15

Two bastards in their own right, but long odds against the mustachioed match-thrower.

Salim Malik (Pakistan)

Crimes:

- Terrible taste in shirts
- Darth Sidious of fixing games
- Throwing away a 100-Test career to do so
- Demanding a job as Pakistan batting coach after all this miscellany
- How unfortunate
- Rashid Latif resigned in protest after hearing about Malik's lobbying for coach, then re-applied after Malik was told to **** off by PCB

"You know better than me." - Malik when asked if cricket in the 1990s was corrupt

"My first instinct was disgust that this low-life of a prick thought that loyalty to my country was for sale." - Steve Waugh after receiving an offer from Malik, before a match that Australia lost by one wicket

"Because they are white, I am sorry to say, and I am black I am out of cricket and they're still playing. There are many incidents. A couple of other white people are still playing. All the fault is with the Asian side." - Malik alleging racism in sport

"It was just like we are today," he said. "We were sitting in a room together...but the thing about white players is you can't trust them. The bastards have weird minds." - Malik proving racism in sport

"After being stuffed by 157 runs, Intikhab thought a group hug was in order. Latif told the court he was willing to embrace Malik but Malik 'did not respond positively.'" - Gideon Haigh

"A Test cricketer like me doesn't need any coaching course or any certificate. I have the ability to help the batsmen overcome their problems, which have been the main hurdle in team's performance." - Salim offers to help players cheat more efficiently

Just because others were (probably) involved, doesn't make what Malik did any less unforgiveable.

malik was a piece of ****

Mark Vermeulen (Zimbabwe)

Crimes:

- A fiery personality
- Anger issues after top-edging a ball into his skull by the blistering pace of Irfan Pathan
- Asking Robert ****ing Mugabe to reinstate him in the Zimbabwe side
- Hurling a cricket ball at hecklers, barely missing a child
- Demanding payments for matches which he was suspended from

"If you take your sunnies off you might be able to see where you're bowling!" - Spectator heckling Vermeulen from the boundary

"At the end of the over he marched towards the boundary and appeared to hurl a ball towards the spectators. It hit the railings so missed everyone, but it was an end-of-season match with plenty of women and children watching. He then picked up a boundary marker, which are white discs with a steel spike, before being stopped by a Werneth member and marched back to the pavilion, still swearing and shouting." - Vermeulen's response

"This did not go down well with the accused who verbally threatened that he was going to destroy Zimbabwe Cricket in two weeks." - Prosecutor in Vermeulen's arson case

Just to one up; Mark Vermeulen.

- In response to a thread asking 'Who is the most destructive batsman in history?'

Is there anything more embarrassing than getting hit in the head from a bouncer from IRFAN PATHAN?

I'd rather get hit by a bouncer from Warne.

lol what a crack

Tim Zoehrer (Australia)

Crimes:

- Shagging his way into/out of the Test side with Bob Simpson's daughter
- Stealing whiskey and team kit from his comrades
- Inspiration to Katman by choking Damien Martyn on an Australia A tour

"I gave Simpson the biggest mouthful of abuse ever given by a player to an Australian official. I called him everything from being two-faced to yellow-bellied." - Zoehrer looks back with pride

"I saw red, grabbed Martyn by the throat and was about to hit him when Tom Moody grabbed my arm and pulled me away." - Zoehrer looks back with pride

"There was a young keeper named Zoehrer,
Whose keeping got poorer and poorer.
Said AB from first slip,
'Please stop giving lip
And with extras stop troubling the scorer.'" - Phil Edmonds

If half of what's been said about Zoehrer is true, there must be any number of other compelling reasons for AB twatting him, tbf.

Zoehrer (was a complete embarrasment - go with him I think).

- Burgey selects his all-time **** XI

Zoehrer was a massive ****bag.

 

[morgieb]

Vermulen had actual problems, so Malik.

 

[Daemon]

Never heard of him before this, but Mark Vermeulen it is.

 

[ankitj]

Salim Malik. Never heard of the other two before.

 

[hendrix]

Malik. What a ****.

 

[uvelocity]

Malik the dirty bastard

 

[smash84]

Malik of course.....

really laughed hard at the Steve Waugh comment and that the Aussies lost the match by 1 wicket

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Mark Vermeulen.

 

[Jono]

Malik, easily.

 

[Mike5181]

Salim Malik

 

[longtom]

Malik

 

[vic_orthdox]

Zoehrer deserves a vote.

 

[benchmark00]

Jono.