Round 1, Battle 9
One of the groups of death.
Btw, any dirt I've missed out on is more than welcome for mention - winners of each battle will have additional suggestions included in their Round of 16 CV.
Shane Warne (Australia)
Crimes (heavily summarized):
- Raiding his mum's medicine cabinet
- *** scandals, *** scandals everywhere
- Flogging pitch/weather information to John the Bookie
- Can't bowl, can't throw, and ensuing hospital pass to Joe the Cameraman
- Relentless sexual harassment of a woman on a South Africa tour
- His best send-off
- Actively undermining John Buchanan and the Test side in the process
- Expelled from the Australian Centre for Excellence for being an obstinately fat ****
- Dropping the Ashes (2:09)
- Dropping Damien Fleming's second hat-trick (3:08)
- Worst ball of the current century
- Threatening a comeback every Ashes series
- Most profligate rent-a-quote in world cricket
"I have had 13 unauthorised biographies done in my life and the first one I read was completely wrong." - Warne declines to comment on the other 12
"He can't keep his mouth shut because he wants to keep making these comments. He must be a miserable man in his life." - Muttiah Muralitharan
"You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person." - Simone Warne after getting a saucy text intended for anyone but Simone Warne
"I can categorically state that Shane did not say anything inappropriate about my mother." - Ronnie Irani breaks Warnie's then-12-year streak in FC games
"How horny...I am like a dog on heat..." - Excerpt from a video of a threesome starring Warne
Sunil Gavaskar (India)
- Abrasive captain, bloke, commentator
- Walking off the field and dragging his partner with him after being given out, while captain
- And you thought Kallis was selfish - scoring 36* (174) in the 1975 World Cup opener
- Demanding Kapil Dev be dropped because of 'reckless cricket' in 1984 and refusing to play at Eden Gardens for fear of being booed
- Commentary ranked beneath Navjot Sidhu and Arun Lal
- Ruthless advocate for rule changes that encourage FTBs
"I can't forget the time he once told a team meeting - 'The day I stop thinking of money, I will stagnate.'" - Bishen Bedi
“I would also like to suggest that there should be no water for bowlers at the boundary end.” - Gavaskar on the ban on runners for batsmen
"Millions of Indians want to know if it [match referee Mike Procter's verdict against Harbhajan Singh] was a 'white man' taking the 'white man's' word against that of the 'brown man'. Quite simply, if there was no audio evidence, nor did the officials hear anything, then the charge did not stand." - Sunil Gavaskar, while an employee of the ICC
Glenn McGrath (Australia)
- Worse sledger - albeit less creative - than Warne
- The Sarwan affair as extracted from the Robelinda archives
- Racist abuse of Jayasuriya
- Not watching where he's ****ing walking
- Only one correct prediction of an Ashes scoreline (2006/07)
"That Glenn McGrath ... what a bastard." - Mick Jagger
"If you ever ****ing talk about my wife again I'll ****ing rip your ****ing throat out." - McGrath
"He wasn't one of the happiest guys. He always moaned and whinged. If he wasn't getting wickets and the batsmen were hitting him for a few fours, he got a bit personal and upset." - Rudi Koertzen
"Why are you so ****ing fat?"..."Because every time I **** your wife she gives me a biscuit." - Eddo Brandes' retort to a McGrath stock sledge
Last edited by LongHopCassidy; 14-12-2012 at 06:31 AM.
bcci gets Sunil over the line
Brad McNamara @bbuzzmc
Will say this once and then nothing else. Defamation laws quite clear in Aus.be careful.
McGrath's surprisingly camp speaking voice must've made some of those sledges rather amusing.
Anyway, Sunny for me. No one likes a sell-out.
Cricket Web's current Premier League Tipping Champion
- As featured in The Independent.
"I don't think that they'll come close to us to be honest."
- Steve Smith before the Ashes
Gavaskar has become a complete **** of late.....
great work though longhop....some pretty hilarious stuff that you find
And smalishah's avatar is the most classy one by far Jan certainly echoes the sentiments of CW
Yeah we don't crap in the first world; most of us would actually have no idea what that was emanating from Ajmal's backside. Why isn't it roses and rainbows like what happens here? PEWS's retort to Ganeshran on Daemon's picture depicting Ajmal's excreta
anybody know why Mick Jagger was ticked off at McG?
I have to say my favourite part of the research is reading robelinda's titles of his videos. Quality summaries.
"The Australian cricket captain is the Prime Minister Australia wishes it had. Steve Waugh is that man, Michael Clarke is not." - Jarrod Kimber
RIP Fardin Qayyumi and Craig Walsh - true icons of CricketWeb.
Parmi | #1 draft pick | Jake King is **** | Big Bash League tipping champion of the universeCome and Paint Turtle
Gavaskar, horrible sycophantic pathetic waste of space, toadying to the BCCI, like they have incriminating pictures of him being bukkake'd by Ladyboys.
Never knowingly said anything interesting in the commentary box either. ****. Wins it easily.
I say this as an Englishman who the other two made my cricketing life a misery for over a decade, and I've always had a thing for Liz Hurley.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.
Gavascar as No 1 tool - easily!
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