Battle of the Infamous

[LongHopCassidy]

Round 1, Battle 7

Three quality douchebags on show, but still an odds-on outcome.

Ian Healy (Australia)



Crimes:

- Claiming bumped catches against the Windies
- Claiming phony stumpings against the Windies (credit to Rob)
- Scraping the bottom of Channel 9's very, very deep commentary box
- Playing a tiny violin (unwittingly on camera) while Andrew Symonds was speaking about breast cancer

"Tell Healy he's not welcome in our dressing room." - Jimmy Adams, as recalled by Steve Waugh

"You're a ****ing cheat." - "When in Rome, dear boy." - Healy tasting after an Atherton retort

"I haven't seen him since what he said, but my number hasn't changed." - Brad Haddin on why Heals won't front him about his keeping

"Breast cancer research could be no closer to my heart." - Healy on the spatial exactitudes of being heartless


Hansie Cronje (South Africa)



Crimes:

- The Mr Fix-it of matches
- Bringing down Herschelle Gibbs and Henry Williams with him
- Chucked a stump through the umpire's door after Mark Waugh was given a match-winning life
- Confession starts at 2:07

"Of course the team decided against taking the bribe, but even so, it hadn't been an immediate and strong reaction to an activity totally abhorrent to the notion of sport." - Herschelle Gibbs on Cronje's first offer

"It wasn't even enough to cover my legal expenses." - On the size of his bookie payments

"If you look at my entire life, how I played, how I trained, losing didn't come easy to me." - Hansie doesn't take the easy way out

"Since that day, in a moment of stupidity and weakness, I allowed Satan and the world to dictate terms to me rather than the Lord." - Cronje revealing Lucifer's terrible shot selection


Colin Croft (West Indies)



Crimes:

- In terms of the West Indies four-prong, probably the worst of the best
- Managed to get banned from Test cricket for longer than Mohammed Asif
- Attending two rebel tours of apartheid South Africa, accepting the title of 'honorary white', and then demanding his wickets taken be added to his FC tally
- Physically intimidating umpires who had the gumption to no-ball him (ta Rob)
- Taught maths

"Crofty would bounce his own grandmother out if he thought there was a wicket in it." - Anonymous teammate

"The thing that really irks me is that the likes of the Waugh brothers and Matthew Hayden get grandstands named after them and I get mostly mentioned when people say they are going for a Rodney Hogg." - Croft himself

"I guess money is everybody’s god." - Croft on why he went to South Africa

[Jono]

The fact that Kohli won more votes than a bloke who took performance enhancing drugs and another bloke who took pleasure in his bowlers cracking skulls is a credit to me

[zorax]

Croft seems like a nice man, but loses respect for willing to be treated as a 'honorary white' in that climate and situation.

Healy is a dick but hasn't really done anything bad with long lasting consequences, or that has actually really hurt someone.

In which case, I'll go for the default answer and pick Hansie Cronje until convinced otherwise.

[LongHopCassidy]

Originally Posted by Jono

The fact that Kohli won more votes than a bloke who took performance enhancing drugs and another bloke who took pleasure in his bowlers cracking skulls is a credit to me

He's got some rough draws a'comin, ****.

[ohnoitsyou]

Cronji cause Healy gets good points for his commentary which Australians have to put up with

[Jono]

ohnoitsyou, what a great username.

[LongHopCassidy]

Only posts in response to you, I've noticed.

[Himannv]

Only just seen this thread. Hansie Cronje for me as well.

How come a waste of space like Sanga isn't on this list ahead of Hadlee?

[LongHopCassidy]

Originally Posted by Himannv

Only just seen this thread. Hansie Cronje for me as well.

How come a waste of space like Sanga isn't on this list ahead of Hadlee?

Pretty ad hoc list, I don't think anybody in this tourney would stake a decent claim to be absent. Hadlee has been subbed out for someone worse; Rod Marsh I think.

What's Kumar done? By all accounts very personable and intellectual. Can't remember anything he's done apart from that sledging of Pollock caught on the stump cams in the 2003 WC.

[ohnoitsyou]

Originally Posted by jono

ohnoitsyou, what a great username.

[Himannv]

Originally Posted by LongHopCassidy

What's Kumar done? By all accounts very personable and intellectual. Can't remember anything he's done apart from that sledging of Pollock caught on the stump cams in the 2003 WC.

Sledging Pollock was probably his best moment afaic.

Sanga's a douche and a bit too full of himself to be all that likeable. It always surprises me when people speak highly of the guy. Add the **** in imo.

[Agent Nationaux]

Originally Posted by Himannv

Sledging Pollock was probably his best moment afaic.

Sanga's a douche and a bit too full of himself to be all that likeable. It always surprises me when people speak highly of the guy. Add the **** in imo.

Sanga is a dick and a cheat. I would vote for him.

Out of this matchup, my vote goes to Healey, for being a fat bastard that sledged other fat bastards.

[Daemon]

Colin Croft

[Howe_zat]

Originally Posted by Jono

The fact that Kohli won more votes than a bloke who took performance enhancing drugs and another bloke who took pleasure in his bowlers cracking skulls is a credit to me

It really is

Cronje for this one, obvious reasons

[smalishah84]

for some reason I have somewhat of a soft spot for Cronje.

Maybe because he confessed.

Croft is pretty abominable so CROFT it is