Battle of the Infamous

[fredfertang]

For these purposes I am going to ignore all redeeming features (of which Botham and The Don have many) and concentrate on ****ish hehaviour - So Bradman by a nose from the other two very worthy candidates

[grecian]

Botham, simply because the other two don't ruin most commentary matches on Sky.

[smalishah84]

Originally Posted by morgieb

Beefy, though Roy's a gun choice too.

Bradman sounded like a ****, but he's still a genius.

This

[Prince EWS]

Symonds.

I was featured in his write-up; it'd be rude not to.

[morgieb]

Originally Posted by Prince EWS

Symonds.

I was featured in his write-up; it'd be rude not to.

Reckon Midnight should've been shown there too

[Agent Nationaux]

Bradman.

[benchmark00]

Botham.

Takes something special to out **** Symonds, but I think he just does it.

[8ankitj]

Symonds

[chicane]

Can't stand Symonds and Botham, Bradman seems like he wouldn't be far behind in the ****meter.

Roy probably the worst however.

[zaremba]

Botham

[Days of Grace]

Symonds

[BackFootPunch]

Botham for mine.

[LongHopCassidy]

Round 1, Battle 5 Results:

Botham - 8
Bradman - 2
Symonds - 6

The Beefy sword gets another swing.

[Prince EWS]

Originally Posted by LongHopCassidy

Round 1, Battle 5 Results:

Botham - 8
Bradman - 6
Symonds - 2

The Beefy sword gets another swing.

I count four Symonds votes on this page alone; I call shenanigans.

[LongHopCassidy]

Round 1, Battle 6

**** meets **** meets ****.


Virat Kohli (India)



Crimes:

- ICC Upstart **** Of The Year 2011, 2012
- Endorsed by Jono, Cevno
- Reaction to gamesmanship on The Hill
- Role-modelling Sreesanth
- Batting a few grand slams out of his league:




"This kid had a swagger but I had heard far too much about him to not ask about him. I did. I got a roll of the eyes, that raised eyebrow and a sideways movement of the head." - Harsha Bhogle

"Sachin has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years. It's time we carried him." - The worryingly small-shouldered Kohli

"He wasn't even bowling nor doing anything. I survived that run out (on 99) and he just said something which I can't obviously say in a press conference." - Well, you can't 'say' a flipped bird in a press conference

"Kohli will be a mentor to people one day." - Anil Kumble, predicting the latter phase of the Mayan apocalypse


Douglas Jardine (England)



Crimes:

- Notorious leg-theoretician
- Wore his Harlequins cap in Test matches to distinguish himself from the MCC plebs
- Conceived out of wedlock (source: Australian slips cordon)
- Went scoreless for 82 balls the innings after his bowlers put two batsmen out of action, just for the lulz
- Cancelled an entire practice session after getting heckled in the nets


"The most reviled man in sport." - Gideon Haigh

"Well bowled, Harold." - After Larwood smashed Woodfull over the heart with a 95mph snorter

"I think I just came." - After Bowes fractured Oldfield's skull several overs later

"Most of those watching it for the first time must have come to the conclusion that, while strictly within the law, it was not nice." - Wisden, explaining Jardine does not work or play well with others

"Like an old maid defending her virginity." - Jardine himself describing his own approach to playing Bill O' Reilly

"What I have to say is not worth listening to. Those of you who had seats got your money's worth, and then some. Thank you." - After the Adelaide Test of the Bodyline series



Shoaib Akhtar (Pakistan)



Crimes:

- Lazy, self-centred, perenially injured or banned
- Drug cheat, alleged middleman for Mohammad Asif
- Proceeding to beat his best customer with a cricket bat, and getting banned for five years as a result
- PCB falsely declared him unfit for play because apparently herpes was less controversial than the truth


"I don't know - for us or for Pakistan?" - Graeme Smith, on asked whether Shoaib's ban would be an advantage

"The Shoaib Akhtar [of our team] is Asmavia Iqbal ... The only difference between him and her is that she's completely fit, sticks to her game and does the job she's asked to do." - Urooj Mumtaz, capatain of Pakistan women's team

"I didn't see him in Australia because he didn't turn up for the first three days of the Test." - Steve Harmison describing his World XI teammate in the super-Test against Australia

"This would be a first for Shoaib, who is widely regarded as a more committed playboy than cricketer." - Malcolm Conn after hearing scurrilous rumours of Shoaib exercising and working on his game