New Zealand doom and gloom thread

[Days of Grace]

Cricket god #1: What the **** happened yesterday? I thought I told you shunts that New Zealand shalt never win test matches against top 8 opposition!

Cricket god #2: We're dreadfully sorry, Master. But they have a new left-arm swing bowler who bowled the Windies out twice before we could conjure up the rain.

Cricket god #1: You know what needs to be done. Give him a lower stress fracture in the back from which he will never fully recover.

Cricket god #2: It shall be done.

 

[Flem274*]

Does anyone know what Turner is going to talk about then?

 

[Days of Grace]

Probably about the riffs in the dressing room.

Can't he wait for a few days, FFS?

 

[Flem274*]

How was Turner's interview announced? Or are you just guessing that because Turner is coming on it's going to be bad?

Listening atm and it's just ****s shouting at each other about the Halbergs atm, because we all know you can compare across sports with fairness and accuracy.

 

[Days of Grace]

All I know is that he will be on at 4pm. I'm just assuming that it will not include much positivity.

 

[Flem274*]

Well be ****ing careful about digging this damn thread then. I opened it expecting an injury crisis or a dressing room bloodbath. "Glenn Turner is sad" is not worthy of digging this ffs.

 

[SilentOne]

it's a nothing interview, Turner just being a negative old ****.

 

[Flem274*]

Ok Turner is getting a bit pathetic now, even though not many CWers are big fans of NZC. Apparently the team aren't allowed to celebrate as a side after wickets now because some of them are faking liking each other and the celebrations are all fake.

What a miserable ****. No wonder the team hated him when he was the coach.

Like srsly he has some valid points like they need to show this is more than a one off win but then he whinges about the team huddle before play and celebrating wickets?

 

[Days of Grace]

He's living in the past. This ain't the county championship in 1974, when a bowler would send the stumps cartwheeling and receive a single handshake and go back to his mark.

He must hate volleyball, when teammates have a massive orgy after every single point won.

He came across as condescending as well, with the whole, "Oh, I'm a cricket analyst, so I'm above all the emotion of winning or losing that drives the common fan."

 

[Prince EWS]

Not sure it quite qualifies as "doom and gloom" but McCullum's officially given away the gloves in limited overs cricket:

West Indies in New Zealand 2013-14 : End of Brendon McCullum as a keeper | Cricket News | New Zealand v West Indies | ESPN Cricinfo

"Too valuable as a batsman and captain" apparently.

Makes Watling's continual snubbing from limited overs squads even more confusing.

 

[wellAlbidarned]

repeat a lie enough times and people will start to believe it

 

[hendrix]

nah he's pretty valuable in limited overs cricket and he is a good captain.

 

[Athlai]

In ODIs the first 2 bats on the team sheet would be Guppy and Taylor.
I'd then say Ryder would be my next best and Williamson to follow.

I'd have Baz as our 5th best bat.

That said I'd have Watling not too far off him and he isn't around the team at the moment seemingly.

 

[Flem274*]

McHesson have been sold on Ronchi as the limited overs keeper batsman for a while now, and that means with a 3-5 of KW-Taylor-McCullum with Anderson at 6 there's no room for Watling, and Elliott (wrongly, imo) appears to be the reserve middle order batsman. Very strange he didn't tour Sri Lanka but then no one cared about those ODIs with our icing getting runny in the rain so I'm glad Watling stayed home to play some red ball cricket.

I'd give Watling the gloves and bat him at 5 ftr, but if I pretend Ronchi should be allowed to play for us for a moment, I can understand his selection at 7 with the gloves.

 

[Flem274*]

Well guys after watching the cricket last night 2 of the 4 Indian batsmen I watched can handle pace and bounce and aren't like some of their overrated predecessors, and of the 2 who didn't 1 got out to very good bowling. Saving grace is South Africa bowled a metre or so too short and couldn't keep the pressure on for 6 in 6 deliveries. 3 of hem could leave the swinging ball well.

Southee and Boult have usually bowled a consistently good length so bowling too short shouldn't be an issue but they can err in line and a couple of good bouncers per over from Wagner won't cut it. Sodhi absolutely cannot play unless he takes 7fer in this test because he isn't ready and will get treated like Tahir.

We're going to Auckland first up and I bet there's no chance of at least the bounce you get there domestically because the BCCI would probably demand David White's resignation if we prepare anything other than the slow roads which have become a feature of our test summer since 2008 or so. Lock in a draw there. Hopefully the Basin doesn't get the NZC/BCCI memo and prepares something similar to the test just gone which was a fair cricket pitch with something there for everyone all match. At least we're not going to Napier this time.

It's a real worry a subcontinental side not called Pakistan might be the favourites on our home turf. Even the crappiest New Zealand teams were able to handle India in years gone by, and it took their best team ever to beat an NZ team which would be soundly beaten by the current NZ team (Southee/Boult factor cancels out Taylor/Ryder as we have seen in domestix and KW, Taylor 2013 would eat Marto 2009 version, O'Brien, Franklin, Vettori and Jeets alive). We need to win this series and reassert ourselves at home.

I'm about to go and post this somewhere where Indian posters are likely to see it but it's good for India to have at least two young batsmen who really can handle adverse conditions.

 

[hendrix]

Don't think it's quite doom and gloom just yet.

As you mentioned, SA bowled too short and didn't really make the batsmen play enough. Also, despite being 24/2, the openers had actually seen off a good chunk of the new ball. Frankly, after watching Ryan Harris' impeccable spells in the Ashes, Steyn looked pretty inconsistent.

 

[straw man]

I watched some of Kohli and Pujara vs Steyn and Philander last night - yes, how good was Kohli? Played so late, left well, got himself in great positions, has such fast hands and made incredibly late adjustments to his shot when the ball seamed. I hope our batsmen were watching because I guarantee we would have been shot out for sub 100 in those conditions by Steyn and Philander, even if they bowled a bit short (we still would have been drawn into playing and edging).

So yeah, should be very interesting when India tour if we get some non-roady pitches. Would still hope that if we can buy/luck/wonderball/outpatience Kohli and Pujara's wickets we could put the rest under serious pressure.

 

[Bahnz]

Well guys after watching the cricket last night 2 of the 4 Indian batsmen I watched can handle pace and bounce and aren't like some of their overrated predecessors, and of the 2 who didn't 1 got out to very good bowling. Saving grace is South Africa bowled a metre or so too short and couldn't keep the pressure on for 6 in 6 deliveries. 3 of hem could leave the swinging ball well.

Southee and Boult have usually bowled a consistently good length so bowling too short shouldn't be an issue but they can err in line and a couple of good bouncers per over from Wagner won't cut it. Sodhi absolutely cannot play unless he takes 7fer in this test because he isn't ready and will get treated like Tahir.

We're going to Auckland first up and I bet there's no chance of at least the bounce you get there domestically because the BCCI would probably demand David White's resignation if we prepare anything other than the slow roads which have become a feature of our test summer since 2008 or so. Lock in a draw there. Hopefully the Basin doesn't get the NZC/BCCI memo and prepares something similar to the test just gone which was a fair cricket pitch with something there for everyone all match. At least we're not going to Napier this time.

It's a real worry a subcontinental side not called Pakistan might be the favourites on our home turf. Even the crappiest New Zealand teams were able to handle India in years gone by, and it took their best team ever to beat an NZ team which would be soundly beaten by the current NZ team (Southee/Boult factor cancels out Taylor/Ryder as we have seen in domestix and KW, Taylor 2013 would eat Marto 2009 version, O'Brien, Franklin, Vettori and Jeets alive). We need to win this series and reassert ourselves at home.

I'm about to go and post this somewhere where Indian posters are likely to see it but it's good for India to have at least two young batsmen who really can handle adverse conditions.

And people say I'm the pessimist.

 

[Flem274*]

weren't you predicting an indian win pre-series too?

 

[Days of Grace]

****s gave me a heart attack when I saw this.

I thought, "ffs, what could possibly have happened now?"