Bollocks, so I did. Edited.
Uppercut - Take a boo son.
Have been informed that those rankings actually had GF in tears of laughter! He says 'grats for your work Uppercut.
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Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.
Will surely be MS' epitaph?
Indians can't bowl - Where has the rumour come from as I myself and many indian friends arwe competent fast bowlers ?
With the English bid I said: Let us be brief. If you give back the Falkland Islands, which belong to us, you will get my vote. They then became sad and left
Agree with all that except Swann didn't bowl badly in 3 tests, at Lords he bowled very nicely, even though the surface offered him nothing, bowled 41 overs for 114 runs at 2.7 rpo at picked up a couple of wickets. Couldn't have done much more for me in that first test. Unless I'm taking this a little bit too literally.
I particularly like the Anderson and the Bresnan ones.
Last edited by Jacknife; 23-08-2011 at 09:21 AM.
Trott should get a 3/10 imo, especially since you gave Morgan 4/10. 5 to Tremlett also seems too high and 9.5 for Broad is too low
Agree with pretty much everything else, except that Sree should've got a negative score
Last edited by Daemon; 24-08-2011 at 09:00 AM.
marc71178 - President and founding member of AAAS - we don't only appreciate when he does well, but also when he's not quite so good!
Anyone want to join the Society?
Beware the evils of Kit-Kats - they're immoral apparently.
Andrew Strauss - 7 - Huge kudos for captaining his side to a whitewash, fairly meh series with the bat. Was never out of nick but never looked like going on with his form either.
Ali Cook - 8 - A fairly unproductive series aside from a monstrous 294 at Edgbaston. You'd take that from your opening bat though.
Jonathan Trott - 6 - good fighting innings on day 1 at Lord's to help set up the series. Bonus point for attempting to audition for World War Z whilst batting at Trent Bridge.
Kevin Pietersen - 9 - Imperious. Complete ownage of the Indian bowlers all series, treated them like an under 9s side at Lord's.
Ian Bell - 9 - exploited Dhoni's generous captaincy throughout the series by helping himself to approximately 16,000 runs through third man.
Eoin Morgan - 5 - couple of nice innings against joke bowling, worrylingly exposed at other times
Matt Prior - 8 - kept well, bashed crucial runs to set up the first two test wins.
Stuart Broad - 10 - where the hell have you been for the last 2 years? I can only assume his early season form was part of some evil genius plan.
Chris Tremlett - 6 - reasonable contribution at Lord's.
Graeme Swann - 7 - crucial runs at Trent Bridge, looked like the weak link until the Oval. As in Australia, when given his one turning track of the series, made it count.
James Anderson - 9 - utterly owned the Indian top order despite not really firing on all cylinders.
Tim Bresnan - 9 - brilliant with bat and ball, responded to being written off as a defensive option by bouncing the top order out.
Ravi Bopara - 4 - meh.
Gautam Gambhir - 2 - poor series. Possibly **** his pants at Trent Bridge, redeemed himself by playing on through concussion at the Oval. Incidentally, whoever ok'd Gambhir playing at the Oval needs to take a good look at themselves.
Abhinav Mukund - 3 - decent innings at Lord's, clearly out of his depth in Test cricket, which he can't really be blamed for.
Vehrinder Sehwag - 0 - hilariously bad with the bat, too lazy to field. Woeful.
Rahul Dravid - 10 - heroic in the face of disaster. Was the only Indian batsman not to have a technical weakness exposed then ruthlessly exploited by the England bowlers, who pretty much had to resort to bowling magic balls to even have a chance of getting out. 2 unbeaten tons, would have been 3 had he not needed to slog at Trent Bridge, opened in 5 innings (effectively 7 with Sehwag's "efforts" at Edgbaston), could not have done anything more. Also kept wicket. Could conceivably lose a point for some poor slip fielding, but in light of everything else he gave for his team, I'm not going to be that harsh. WAG.
Sachin Tendulkar - 3 - fairly unproductive series, scored his runs when they didn't matter, owned again by Jimmeh, loses points for being a selfish **** and refusing to bat at 3, forcing the team's lower order firefighter up to number 3 instead. Gets a bonus point for ensuring cricinfo will be readable for the forseeable future by saving us from the months of sycophantic articles we'd have had to endure had he reached his milestone.
VVS Laxman - 4 - forced out of position, started series decently. Very generously gave England's fine leg fielders catching practice and seemed to forget where his offstump was.
Suresh Raina - 2 - should be investigated by the ICC for sending out a doppleganger 2nd dig at Lord's. I refuse to believe the man who made a composed half century was the same man who got himself into such a tangle when the ball bounced above his knees.
Yuvraj Singh - 5 - achieved a personal milestone when he was described by the Sky team as a "good player of spin" for the first time in his career.
MS Dhoni - 0 - would probably have kept better had he taped frying pans to his gloves. Gains bonus points for his batting at Edgbaston. Loses all points gained for repeated irresponsible batting throughout the series, which has somehow escaped scrutiny. Exposed the tail to the new ball 2nd innings at Lord's and the Oval when batting for a draw was a remote possibility, and squandered a great position at Trent Bridge in the first innings. Here's a hint: when Rahul Dravid is 110 not out at the other end, you have a lead of 50 and the opposition bowlers are moving a new ball outside your off stump, and you only have the tail behind you, cover driving isn't a particularly smart idea.
Harbhajan - 0 - simultaneously made a mockery of the idea that India had the spinning advantage going into the series, and the 400+ Test wicket list. Managed to be outbowled by Raina and Yuvraj, which was no mean feat.
Praveen Kumar - 8 - Dravid aside, India's only shining light throughout the series. Always kept the batsmen honest, constantly prized out wickets at crucial times, and entertained with his batting.
Ishant Sharma - 4 - great spell 2nd innings at Lord's to put India into a potential winning position, gets a bonus point for being the only Indian bowler on the 2nd morning at the Oval who looked like he knew what he was meant to be doing with the strange red thing in their hands. Shame he ruined it by bowling innocuous rubbish for the rest of the series.
Zaheer Khan - 0 - here's a gym membership son, how about you use it once in a while given your importance to the Indian team?
Sreesanth - 0 - apparently good in bowler friendly conditions. I can only assume CricketWeb have confused Sreesanth with somebody else. Presumably gets away with calling himself a bowler because the Indian public have no idea what a good seam bowler looks like.
Amit Mishra - 4 - should probably reinvent himself as a batsman. Achieved the admirable feat of making Harbhajan Singh look like a threatening spinner.
RP Singh - 0 - the BCCI could have called up literally anyone from the beach in Miami and they'd probably have done better.
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