For every rose that blooms, a hundred ones wither : Dark side of Indian cricket

[Smith]

Its quite absurd to say that Indian parents pressurise their kids to become doctors and engineers and do not support them if they choose up anything else. Because not everyone in India can afford an education to become doctors and engineers. All parents want is for kids to have a "real" job.

Welcome to the real bourgeoisie middle class India.

In India your chances of making a career out of sports in next to nothing. You have to be really really really talented to make the national team and there is no support from anyone else but your parents if you do take up sports.
The reason why kids commit suicide is because they have unrealistic expectations that does not match their talents. And when the realisation hits them that they have squandered their whole life chasing an unattainable dream due to the indian fatalistic attitude they feel that they have nothing else to live for. And its going to be a life without being a cricket star then they might as well die.

Fully agree.

You are generalising when you say that there is no support structure.......this is a country with the concept of joint family and extended family......there is plenty of support for anyone......even if he is a crook.

Sadly, JFS are exceptions rather than the rule these days. In fact, the worst period has been the transition phase in the 80s and 90s, when people started moving away from the Joint family system into the nuclear system, due to increased incomes and aspirations not to mention the effect of liberalisation of the economy which had a profound effect on the culture. I agree that in a joint family system there used to be the support structures needed for an individual, but sadly if you note, the above cases are all from small families.
BTW What support structure is there in UK/USA for people who fail to become cricketers? or Stock Brokers or Models or Movie stars?[/QUOTE]

 

[Smith]

True in every field though, For every Engineer/Doctor that makes it, there are 10000s that do not make. It is another attempt by the media to demonize cricket.

I fully disagree. The risk carried by a kid embarking to become a cricketer is umpteen times more than a kid trying to become an engineer or a doctor. Because for lakhs of engineers and doctors spouted out by the system, only about a maximum of 50 cricketers make it big in their life (read : play FC cricket) every year.

And what is with this "trying to demonise cricket"? That claim was absurd indeed. Everyone's been talking non stop about the gltiz and glam of cricket in the media, that people scarcely note that it is not a paradise for everyone trying to get in. The truth is perhaps 1 in 10,000 players make it really big in this country. It is hardly demonising, but mere statement of fact and a criticism.

 

[Smith]

If every one who faces difficulties in life is going to commit suicide the world would be pretty empty now. Suicide is wrong. It should never happen.

It is easy to make such statements from a comfy point of view. And I have also heard arguments that only cowards opt that way out. But how do we really know what is going through their minds? Suppose there is a destitute girl who has absolutely no source of earning money. The only way before her is prostitution (story of thousands in India every single day). Or death. Can we really blame her if she chose the latter than losing her honour? Or would we proclaim that she better would be a prostitute?

I am not taking any sides. It is akin to every complex problem in life, which might sound simple at the outset.

 

[Smith]

Think about their family. This guy is everything for them. What purpose do his parents have in life now after losing someone for whom they spent their entire life. While condemning all suicide victims is wrong those who do it for trivial stuff should be.

Firstly I'd blame the parents for putting all their reliance on their son to even provide for their future. Of course, that is purely my view point as a would be parent, and still consider it a voluntary duty of the off spring to provide for his parents, which I do. But, I'd never expect my child to support for me in the future because, that means my self independence is reduced. Which is something I could never live with. And moreover it is putting huge pressure on the child because he has to stifle his dreams just because he had to support his parents.

And I cannot buy this theory that parents spent so much money on bringing the child up. My counter question would be, so that was due to love or pure selfishness to see the child as a prospective income making asset in the future? Anyways the child is hardly at fault and a life debt is forced upon him, just because he was born and brought up in a life which was beyond his control upto a certain point. If the kid voluntarily contributes to his parents on his own volition, brilliant. And the corollary would be that the kid should have absolutely no claim upon his parents' property till their demise.

 

[Smith]

Well children who commit suicide at 15,20 know nothing about life. They have just started out and when they face their first failure in life they commit suicide. This is an increasing phenomenon in India don't know about your place.

And about hating family, they don't hate their family they just don't think about them at that moment. Just step back and think about it and the number of suicides will come down.

A kid at 15 or 20 knows his amount of life that he has lived for sure. So what do you mean? At what age then people really come to know about life? There is unfortunately no such thing as knowing life. That realisation will hit hard, in my opinion, when one faces the tunnel at one's end point. There are elders who commit suicide, there are middle aged family men who commit suicide, .

 

[Sanz]

I fully disagree. The risk carried by a kid embarking to become a cricketer is umpteen times more than a kid trying to become an engineer or a doctor. Because for lakhs of engineers and doctors spouted out by the system, only about a maximum of 50 cricketers make it big in their life (read : play FC cricket) every year.

And what is with this "trying to demonise cricket"? That claim was absurd indeed. Everyone's been talking non stop about the gltiz and glam of cricket in the media, that people scarcely note that it is not a paradise for everyone trying to get in. The truth is perhaps 1 in 10,000 players make it really big in this country. It is hardly demonising, but mere statement of fact and a criticism.

This is not unique to India or Indian cricketers, it happens in every country and almost every sport. Not every swimmer is a Michael Phelps, not every Basketball player becomes MJ.

No it is not a paradise for everyone, but again why should it be ? While those deaths are sad and tragic for the families, I fail to understand the logic behind this thread. What are we supposed to do, allow everyone to play for India to stop these suicides ?

 

[Smith]

This is not unique to India or Indian cricketers, it happens in every country and almost every sport. Not every swimmer is a Michael Phelps, not every Basketball player becomes MJ.

No it is not a paradise for everyone, but again why should it be ? While those deaths are sad and tragic for the families, I fail to understand the logic behind this thread. What are we supposed to do, allow everyone to play for India to stop these suicides ?

Excuse me, this is a forum for discussion and not a problem solving exercise by any stretch of imagination right? And perhaps may I remind you that you have every right to dodge this thread if you don't like it? Why waste your precious energy in typing up stuff that makes really no point whatsoever?

So do you really think that any of what we discuss in other threads "solve" issues prevalent? I decided to open this thread because I was aghast at the tragedy of these guys. Also because I read somewhere that among sportsmen, cricketers have the highest suicide rate. Yes, it might be common for all sports, but in the western countries, sport is rewarding even at the lower levels that one need not be Micheal Jordan to make a living out of it. In India, in cricket, one has to make it atleast to the FC level to be guaranteed survival. There is hardly any sustainable cricket at levels under it. And how many cricketers can FC system support at best? 400? And how many kids plunge into cricket following the examples of Yuvraj and Dhoni every year? Must be 100 times that. It is a complete black or white, make or break world as far as cricket in India is concerned. You make it, you are a millionaire, you don't? You are a pauper. It is also noteworthy that unlike other countries, these people most often than not, do not have a second source of income to support their endeavour.

PS - Apologies for the strong language, but I don't think I breached any forum etiquette.

 

[Athlai]

[/Precam]

 

[Sanz]

The article wants to feel sorry for people like Maninder singh and Sada, well I don't they had everything going for themselves but they screwed it up big time.

'Success In Your Teens Is Dangerous' : outlookindia.com

"...Sometimes when I am alone, when I think about my career and what went wrong, I feel I let myself and the fans down. I believe it was my fault. I wish I had followed the advice I was getting from my coach, Gurcharan Singh, and Bishan Singh Bedi, my mentor. Bishan paaji used to tell me that the more you work in the nets, the better you’d become. He would tell me to bowl for 2-3 hours a session. But when I’d bowled for 15-20 minutes, and bowled well, I thought that was enough....."

 

[atisha_ro]

There is also this huge disparity between cricket and other sports in India. Sure, not everybody can be an outstanding cricketer, or an outstanding engineer for that matter, but an outstanding sportsman can be easily left in the woods when a nation is so obsessed with a single sport.

 

[G.I.Joe]

There is also this huge disparity between cricket and other sports in India. Sure, not everybody can be an outstanding cricketer, or an outstanding engineer for that matter, but an outstanding sportsman can be easily left in the woods when a nation is so obsessed with a single sport.

That is a myth. Sports like tennis and football don't have the same following as cricket, but they afford their practitioners a damn good lifestyle all the same. You don't necessarily need a million dollar annual contract to live the good life. You can make a lot more playing football for a third rate club than the average doctor or engineer here.

 

[Cruxdude]

Firstly I'd blame the parents for putting all their reliance on their son to even provide for their future. Of course, that is purely my view point as a would be parent, and still consider it a voluntary duty of the off spring to provide for his parents, which I do. But, I'd never expect my child to support for me in the future because, that means my self independence is reduced. Which is something I could never live with. And moreover it is putting huge pressure on the child because he has to stifle his dreams just because he had to support his parents.

And I cannot buy this theory that parents spent so much money on bringing the child up. My counter question would be, so that was due to love or pure selfishness to see the child as a prospective income making asset in the future? Anyways the child is hardly at fault and a life debt is forced upon him, just because he was born and brought up in a life which was beyond his control upto a certain point. If the kid voluntarily contributes to his parents on his own volition, brilliant. And the corollary would be that the kid should have absolutely no claim upon his parents' property till their demise.

I think you got me wrong. I did not mean the money anywhere. Children are everything for most parents. They pour their heart and soul out for them and finally lose him because of a moment of madness. Think about the emptiness in their life now.

 

[Cruxdude]

A kid at 15 or 20 knows his amount of life that he has lived for sure. So what do you mean? At what age then people really come to know about life? There is unfortunately no such thing as knowing life. That realisation will hit hard, in my opinion, when one faces the tunnel at one's end point. There are elders who commit suicide, there are middle aged family men who commit suicide, .

A kid of 15 or 20 decides that him failing an exam means he will not be successful in life and kills himself. Some kill themselves because the teacher was harsh on them that day. This was what I was talking about.

 

[Smith]

I think you got me wrong. I did not mean the money anywhere. Children are everything for most parents. They pour their heart and soul out for them and finally lose him because of a moment of madness. Think about the emptiness in their life now.

Olrite mate.

It is indeed devastating for the dear ones around that person, but still, I'd not like to judge that. It is hard to live your personal hell and try and make others happy.

 

[Cruxdude]

Olrite mate.

It is indeed devastating for the dear ones around that person, but still, I'd not like to judge that. It is hard to live your personal hell and try and make others happy.

Most of the guys who commit suicide are not in the condition you say they are in. My friend committed suicide in Bangalore just because he didn't have a job on graduation. If you don't get a job on graduation does it mean the end of the world. If you slog it out you will get one sure. He wrote in his letter he didn't want to slog in life. He is the only kid of his parents and they are devastated.

 

[Smith]

Most of the guys who commit suicide are not in the condition you say they are in. My friend committed suicide in Bangalore just because he didn't have a job on graduation. If you don't get a job on graduation does it mean the end of the world. If you slog it out you will get one sure. He wrote in his letter he didn't want to slog in life. He is the only kid of his parents and they are devastated.

So you are blindly blaming him? There could have been umpteen number of other reasons. Or even the difficulty of getting a job, the effort to be spent on it, and the rewards all might have confounded his brain. It is more of a philosophical question, like the lazy man who was sleeping and was approached by a rich man. The rich man started enumerating how hard work made him so successful and rich, to which the lazy man asked what is the end point of all such struggle. The rich man replied well he could take rest without worrying. To which the lazy man retorted he was already doing it without toiling.

I hate to make it a philosophical question, but I don't think we have the right to take a judgement call on issues like these.

 

[Cruxdude]

So you are blindly blaming him? There could have been umpteen number of other reasons. Or even the difficulty of getting a job, the effort to be spent on it, and the rewards all might have confounded his brain. It is more of a philosophical question, like the lazy man who was sleeping and was approached by a rich man. The rich man started enumerating how hard work made him so successful and rich, to which the lazy man asked what is the end point of all such struggle. The rich man replied well he could take rest without worrying. To which the lazy man retorted he was already doing it without toiling.

I hate to make it a philosophical question, but I don't think we have the right to take a judgement call on issues like these.

Well that's your take on it. My take is he did wrong. He would have surely got a job when the economy revives. A hasty step.

 

[silentstriker]

I bet he was depressed prior to that. Normal well adjusted people don't commit suicide when that happens.

 

[duffer]

Yeah, there's been a lot of over simplication of the suicide issue in this thread.

 

[Sanz]

Excuse me, this is a forum for discussion and not a problem solving exercise by any stretch of imagination right? And perhaps may I remind you that you have every right to dodge this thread if you don't like it? Why waste your precious energy in typing up stuff that makes really no point whatsoever?

You also have the right to not reply to my post like 90% of the forum members do.