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Win a Somerset Shirt!

jf2001

Cricket Web Staff Member
This is the start of the Somerset Talk Limerick Compeition that will net one lucky winner a Somerset CCC one day shirt signed by all the team that won the C&G Trophy. With Somerset in the one day form they currently enjoy, this might be one piece of memorabilia that could become a priceless antique!

So what do you need to do to enter? All you need to do is to make up a cricketing limerick, preferably Somerset-related, and email it to: editor@somersettalk.co.uk, Alternatively, post it on the messageboard of the site for all to admire. I will judge the efforts myself and the winner gets a fine piece of Somerset kit.
By way of a poor starting point, I have had a rather lame stab myself:

There was a young man called Trescothick,
of the English he was the first pick,
He took on Akhtar,
and whacked him so far,
he was asked to stop taking the mick!

Best of luck and no limit to number of entries. The finest selection will be posted at a later date with mid-July the approx deadline.

John - Editor - www.somersettalk.co.uk
 

Cloete

International Captain
There once was a young man called Blackers,
When in the mood the bowlers took smackers,
Another drive for six,
You could see he had his weet-bix,
Eventually the bowler went wackers

There once was a boy called Cox
Who'd arrived from the Tasmanian docks
His precision and grace
Brought a smile to my face
Will any man fill his socks?

There once was a young man called Trescothick,
Luckily this man was not Gothic,
A six over third man,
Another ton in the pan,
This man almost looks robotic

There once was a young man called Matt(bulbeck),
Who's bowling is actually quite flat
A heatthrob of Anna,
Just look at her banner(well her old one),
One day he may wear the Englan hat.
 

Anna

International Vice-Captain
Originally posted by Cloete
There once was a young man called Matt(bulbeck),
Who's bowling is actually quite flat
A heatthrob of Anna,
Just look at her banner(well her old one),
One day he may wear the Englan hat.
:lol: :lol: :P

There once was a team called Somerset,
Who played well 'gainst ev'ry side they met,
This is sadly no more,
Infact it's now quite a bore,
They really need all the luck they can get.

There once was a boy named Matt Wood,
Who used to be rather quite good,
But that's vanished over night....
And to help his teams plight,
He should sort himself out, only he could.

There was a keeper called Rob,
Who was right at the top of his job.
But now that's all gone,
Where did it go wrong?
I just hope he doesn't turn to a blob. (crap, crap, crap. Oh well, the rest wasn't too bad :D)

I might make up some slightly less scathing ones when I'm in the right mood :D :lol: :P
 

Cloete

International Captain
There was a young lad called Nixon
Whos boling Somerset went a fixin'
I it weren't for Drakes
And all his mistakes
With the Indies he would be mixin'

There was a young man called clarke
Who's bowling is a walk in teh park
his batting was mild
mind you he's only a child
i don't think he'll ever get a plaque
 

botham

Cricket Spectator
Here are some limericks.

There once was a girl called cherry
She took taste of a poisonous berry
She deserved what she got
As it made her stomach rot
So she couldn't bed her terry

Here's another ditty about my potential mishap in the carpark, reference Tractor and his mates car, after the game on Saturday.

There once was a guy called Bill
Who didn't quite know how to chill
When he encountered Botham
Tractor shouted got'em
As Bill went in for the kill!

They said he wasn't a good coach
But he certainly could poach
He went for their Aaron
And left' *** very barren
Yes, the coach could certainly poach!

From my wife today.

Our overseas player McLean
If anyone dared to complain
He'd pick up a stump
And give 'em a thump
And they'd never do it again!

There was a young fella called Bryant
Who wasn't at all compliant
The brief thought he could bat
But then called him a prat
Now he's become his client

Attepmting to find some positives out of an awful Somerset weekend. Still the boys are reported as still being confident!
 

Cerdic

Cricket Spectator
Hi all,

First post on this site. It all looks a bit complicated, buttons everywhere. Reminds me of the time I had to take over the controls of a striken 747 when all the crew simultaneously passed out etc etc etc.

Anyway, I stuck a couple of limericks on the grockles site and didn't realise I had to post them here as well, so here they are. They'll take you on a (short) rollercoaster of emotions from doom and despair, through melancholy to an elysian field of pastoral nirvana.

First up,

There was a young team from the 'shire
Who recently were stuck in the mire
The short game and long
had both gone all wrong
And the chance of promotion looks dire.

Then, inspired by the interview with our Kevin this morning,

There was an old coach known as Shiney
Who sometimes came over quite whiney
"We don't have a prayer,
of getting good players,
our finance is relatively tiny".

Next up,

With Banger and Johnno and Caddick,
Our team is capable of magic,
With call ups and knocks
and all that b*****cks
'magic' has turned into 'tragic'.

And finally, a bit more romantic.

The churches and spires that surround.
The river and ducks that abound.
The memories of past glories
and oft recited stories.
Make Taunton cricket's most beatiful ground.

I think that'll do for now.

Phil,
 

Langeveldt

Soutie
Damn, I want a somerset shirt, and im not forking out £40 for one... Like daylight robbery...

Unfortunatly my limericks would probably be unprintable, so ill have to do without...
 

jf2001

Cricket Web Staff Member
Stars Most Welcome!!

Firstly Cerdic, welcome!! Apologies for the rather complicated way of having to register prior to posting. I am going to enquire about a 'guest' password or something to bypass it to encourage more people on the site and messageboard. At this early stage, you are a clear front runner and will if there is no better limerick forthcoming, win a Somerset shirt signed by the Somerset team who were capable of winning more than a single one day game on the bounce back then.

I am currently penning my taunton Times column and feel obliged to include some comments fromChistopher Martin jenins in the Times who says of Marcus Trescothick: "Trescothick will have to make a test hundred, perhaps two, against South Africa this summer before he convinces all others, as he clearly has himself, that his batting embarrassments in Australia are part of a past best forgotten."

ahem!! what a load of £%&***£4!! Marcus is batting like a dream and harking back to the Aussie tour which is as old as the Times correspondent himself, is disappointing and just plain dumb.

Langeveldt, all efforts welcome. Email any you feel might offend the blushers out there but do feel free to post a few efforts....
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
Welcome Cerdic.

Most impressive, definitely the best so far IMO.

Let's have a think what I can come up with, I'm sure there will be something good in my mind somewhere.
 

marc71178

Eyes not spreadsheets
We all laugh at Caddick's ears,
bt his wickets for England bring cheers!
I long for the day,
that they rival AA,
But till then I'll stick to the Beers

Hey, it may not win, but I had to get my hero in there somewhere!
 

Cloete

International Captain
marc71178 said:
We all laugh at Caddick's ears,
bt his wickets for England bring cheers!
I long for the day,
that they rival AA,
But till then I'll stick to the Beers

Hey, it may not win, but I had to get my hero in there somewhere!
hahaha:lol:. that is AWESOME marc. not uite as good as Cerdic's one about Taunton though.
 

botham

Cricket Spectator
We all love a visit to Lords
To meet all we've seen on these boards
But the price of a beer
Leaves little to cheer
So we may as well meet up at Lourdes!
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
Right, as promised :):

The first eight were made up whilst waiting for the cricket highlights last night (which I incidentally fell asleep halfway through) and the last four within the last hour in the sun :)

Apologies for the fact that all twelve are negative, cynical, bitter and twisted.

It's on the left, just after Devon
Next to the A 3-0-2-7
If it wasn't for the board
Men who act like they're lords
We'd be one step closer to heaven

An early morning, get out of bed
West Somerset Rail to Minehead
Down the pub, on the booze
Somerset bound to lose
We'd sometimes rather be dead

It's two years since they were on top
Pronounced has been Somerset's drop
For David Shepherd, it's heaven
They'll never make one-eleven
He won't have to bother to hop

Banger, Johnno and Nixon and Jamie
But the board, they can be called zany
And it's with disbelief
We breathe a sigh of relief
When a Thursday in Taunton is rainy

Lathwell and Piran with release have met
But the Chairman, he's not finished quite yet
Anderson, that twisted git
A history of treating players like shít
You could say that he deserves all he gets

There once was a new club website
Its Chairman went looking for a fight
"You must follow our line"
"Dissent's not at all fine"
It seems that website is quite shíte

There once was a man called Lenin
He was later followed by Stalin
At Somerset there's a man
Who likes their five-year plans
His want consigning to the bin

Walk to the middle at just past eleven
If it's clear then you might see to Devon
The hosts are falling apart
If the vistors get a start
Their batsmen won't get closer to heaven

At Taunton, beneath the Spire
It's a great place when Banger's on fire
But unhappily
All's not what it should be
It's a shame that the Chairman's a liar

They should be the pride of the West
But the cannot match all of the rest
And when all's said and done
Some of the fans are so glum
They sometimes ask, "are Devon best?"

Twenty years since Viv and Big Bird
Yet still loyal have stayed the herd
It seems so long
When everything's going wrong
You see, the Chairman's a turd

Twelve months ago, Marcus was king
But last winter he couldn't hit a thing
His county can't cruise
And if they aren't gonna lose
Then they'll need eighteen men in the ring

Should be at least one good one in there :)
 

botham

Cricket Spectator
Good for a laugh

They're definitely good for a laugh. How unpopular the SCCC management seem to be!

:lol:
 

Frome Exile

Cricket Spectator
Inspired by his ravings in the Southgate programme....

There once was a Ciderman, Peter,
Whose manner and tone could be sweeter.
His strange sense of humour,
I once heard the rumour,
Came from absinthe imbibed by the litre.
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
A gentleman named Giles Clarke
had an attitude straight from the Ark.
By outlawing dissent
many hours he spent
ears blocked, eyes closed - in the dark.

Love from LE and DD
 

Rik

Cricketer Of The Year
luckyeddie said:
A gentleman named Giles Clarke
had an attitude straight from the Ark.
By outlawing dissent
many hours he spent
ears blocked, eyes closed - in the dark.

Love from LE and DD
Awwww I'm sure he'll love it :)
 

Mr. P

International Vice-Captain
Here goes...

There once was a keeper named Turner,
He's 36 but still a learner.
He can bat at seven,
Or sometimes at eleven,
Of England he still is a yearner.

And this...

From Aus came young Jamie Cox,
At the crease he's as sly as a fox.
He places the ball,
He slowly murders them all,
And the crowd call out "Jamie Rox!"

Finally...

The Bath scoreboard reads Caddick, Andrew,
His bowling skills we always knew.
But he's getting real old,
At least that what we're told,
And we think that the rumours are true.
 

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