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Thread: Aussies threaten to boycott Indian tour

  1. #1
    State Captain irfan's Avatar
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    Aussies threaten to boycott Indian tour

    Quote Originally Posted by PROSH View Post

    In a shock move yesterday, Ricky Ponting announced that the Australian test team would not travel to India later this year, unless a list of specific demands are met. It is expected that the ICC (International Cricketing Cowards) will show roughly the same degree of strength in dealing with the ultimatum as France showed when three tipsy German tourists wandered across the border in 1940 and invited some friends to stay a while.

    Some poo-downers have suggested that Ponting has issued these demands out of embarassment over the last Test defeat by the Indians. Ponting responded to these claims in Tuesday's press conference. " The team's never been stronger. We don't have bloody Gilly walking every time he gets a thin edge. Tait's Maddie McCann-like dissappearing act keeps us prepared for change. We've learned important lessons from our loss, namely that the only thing more important than the spirit of the game is winning."

    When asked whether the possible boycott would hurt the players financially, Ponting retorted, " You kidding ? As long as Symonds keeps pimping himself out to advertise KFC , we'll be sweet. Besides, worst comes to worst, Pup could always hock that bitchin' earring."

    Ponting's List of Demands:
    - Steve Bucknor to officiate every match as all three umpires
    - Harbhajan Singh not allowed to bowl to Ricky Ponting
    - Indian spectators to be gagged and have arms bound to their sides
    - Sachin Tendulkar not allowed to play at all. Ever again.
    - Dropped catches get a "do over."
    - A packet of Tim Tams that never run out
    - Steve Waugh to be next Indian PM.
    - 1000 M&M's in a bowl with all the brown ones removed.
    - 1000 brown M&M's in a separate bowl for Andrew Symonds's consumption.
    - Tickets to Pendulum.
    Only if....

  2. #2
    123/5 Flem274*'s Avatar
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    I'm sure this thread will attract lots of intelligent discussion with exemplerary manners on display.
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    RIP Craig Walsh

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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend NZTailender's Avatar
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    lol i see what he did thar.
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    Hall of Fame Member Smudge's Avatar
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    Whoever created that "story" is a ****ing ****** who wouldn't know a funny joke if it came up and did a pole dance in front of him.


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    International Captain andruid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by irfan; Originally Posted by PROSH View Post

    In a shock move yesterday, Ricky Ponting announced that the Australian test team would not travel to India later this year, unless a list of specific demands are met. It is expected that the ICC (International Cricketing Cowards) will show roughly the same degree of strength in dealing with the ultimatum as France showed when three tipsy German tourists wandered across the border in 1940 and invited some friends to stay a while.

    Some poo-downers have suggested that Ponting has issued these demands out of embarassment over the last Test defeat by the Indians. Ponting responded to these claims in Tuesday's press conference. " The team's never been stronger. We don't have bloody Gilly walking every time he gets a thin edge. Tait's Maddie McCann-like dissappearing act keeps us prepared for change. We've learned important lessons from our loss, namely that the only thing more important than the spirit of the game is winning."

    When asked whether the possible boycott would hurt the players financially, Ponting retorted, " You kidding ? As long as Symonds keeps pimping himself out to advertise KFC , we'll be sweet. Besides, worst comes to worst, Pup could always hock that bitchin' earring."

    Ponting's List of Demands:
    - Steve Bucknor to officiate every match as all three umpires
    - Harbhajan Singh not allowed to bowl to Ricky Ponting
    - Indian spectators to be gagged and have arms bound to their sides
    - Sachin Tendulkar not allowed to play at all. Ever again.
    - Dropped catches get a "do over."
    - A packet of Tim Tams that never run out
    - Steve Waugh to be next Indian PM.
    - 1000 M&M's in a bowl with all the brown ones removed.
    - 1000 brown M&M's in a separate bowl for Andrew Symonds's consumption.
    - Tickets to Pendulum.1529370
    Only if....
    Quote Originally Posted by Voltman View Post
    Whoever created that "story" is a ****ing ****** who wouldn't know a funny joke if it came up and did a pole dance in front of him.
    I am assuming the irony is lost on you then. Given the drama of India's last tour i thoguh it was funny in quite a profound way.

  6. #6
    Hall of Fame Member Son Of Coco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voltman View Post
    Whoever created that "story" is a ****ing ****** who wouldn't know a funny joke if it came up and did a pole dance in front of him.
    Not like a certain member's efforts on 'The Bladder' website, which were absolutely brilliant in my opinion

    Edit: I rest my case:-

    McGrath Vindicated

    "Glenn McGrath today took advantage of the newly relaxed laws regarding the player's Code of Conduct to speak out about rumours surrounding his position at no.11 in the National team.

    It had been reported in the media that Glenn may be struggling to hold on to his spot at 11 and may in fact be moved down to 10.

    McGrath responded by saying "The number 11 spot in any batting line-up is a specialist position, and I feel it's ludicrous to suggest that a rookie can simply waltz into the team and go straight in at the tail. I've fought hard over the last 10 years to make it my own"

    Glenn's coach, Barry Average, also weighed into the debate saying "Glenn and I have worked hard together to hone his batting to a finely crafted edge, and rumours such as these undermine all the hard work we've put in together over the years."

    Barry also shared some of the duo's training secrets with us, revealing that the secret to Glenn's success is his patented "Barn Door and Shovel" routine. "Last week Glenn actually swung the shovel and hit the barn door, it was a breakthrough, and I think the only way is up from here", Barry said.

    Glenn hopes his recent form will have quashed any rumours he is going to lose his coveted number 11 spot.

    He finished by thanking Michael Kasprowicz for preventing him from doing his own cause any harm in the First Test against Sri Lanka.

    "I felt like I was actually hitting them ok there in the second innings, and was seeing them almost as big as cricket balls, luckily Kasper could see what happening from the other end and sacrificed himself with a wild pull shot before I could do any real damage to my cause."

    Tune in to the second half of the revealing interview with Glenn next week when he shares some of his batting tips with aspiring young no.11's, and also tells us why he thinks he might have been able to sneak the aluminium bat into test cricket undetected."
    Last edited by Son Of Coco; 12-04-2008 at 05:47 AM.
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