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Ambrose Speaking The Prose

boris_denominat

Cricket Spectator
It is often said that within shakespeare the characters who speak in blank verse are the dishonourable ones, the ones who are off colour shal we say. England's new no1 wicket keeper Tim Ambrose might be said to be going through a similar bout of lexical weariness, reflecting his keeping and batting discolour. After getting a limp 5 runs off 16 balls at a poor strike rate (reducing england's chance of winning the game by wasting time) he proceeded to drop a regulation outside edge off New Zealands premier batsman Stephen Flemming. If you take away Ambrose' flash-in-the-pan innings' he averages 3 runs per inns, a quite poor total which shows his inability to bat in the second innings of a test match.

FLAT HEAD BULLY

We decided to go get a word from England's discarded wicket keeper expert Geraint Jones on this situation, he had this to say. "As you say, Pete, it is very true that if we take Ambrose' catching average over the last one catch he will catch no more in his career" says a calm Jones "It is well known around the county circuit that Ambrose sports a bald head out of choice, quite the opposite to myself of course."

Jones' dropping can be seen as a premature change from the Fletcher era into a preference towards wicket keepers who are bold. 100% of England's test wicket keepers have been bald since Moores' appointment. Rumous still persist as to the way that a wicket keepers shaven head assists in their ability to launch through the air as well as insulating less heat in their skull helping to avoid "heated" moments. Chri Read's motion to join the ICL last year could be seen as an instant reaction to this state of affairs.

It is clear to this author, as i am an author, that Ambrose should be dropped and Moores penalised for his blantant hair-ism and trust in a poor wicket keeper.
 
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Richard

Cricket Web Staff Member
Y'know, if I didn't know better I'd say

Even though it's not really, still one of the oddest threads I've ever seen.
 
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